Signing my daughter up for softball, I had to laugh at this (stripped down) Parents Code of Ethics:I will encourage good sportsmanshipI will place the emotional and physical well-being of my child ahead of my personal desire to win. I will ... read more
Just 'cuz you cut off its head... don't assume it's harmless. Chef dies after spitting cobra he was cooking bit him on the hand... 20 minutes after he had cut its head off. Read, listen or watch the rest here: ... read more
You probably can't fix it yourself, and your mechanic might not be able to, either. Almost a metaphor for our times. See Scotty Kilmer explains new car repair. By the way, this guy's great. In various ... read more
Look, buddy, I get it. You have a Ferrari and 'wanna go fast' like Ricky Bobby but maybe central fcking London isn't the place for you. Phone doctors at 7. 59 a. m. : 'surgery is closed. ' Phone doctors at 8. 00 'You are number 8 in the ... read more
(Irish Traditional)Once there was a kittenConan was his nameHe grew to nearly 20 poundsBut a kitten he remainedHe grew to be ferociousFeared throughout the landHush, my child and you shall hearThe legend of ConanA harder working kittenThe w ... read more
Clay and his adopted daughter Jenna look forward to their upcoming "homeland tour" to Russia. His intentions are pure. Hers, not so much. When she goes missing, he goes looking, only to find she is not the innocent little girl he thought she was. Not even close. His only hope is to get her on the Last Train Out.
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Zenya was just two-and-a-half when two very strange people came to visit her orphanage. They talked funny, she thought, as if almost able to speak properly, but with such horrible accents it was difficult to understand them. She assumed they were stupid. Gloopy, in Russian. They were there to see her, though – just her! – so she let it go.
She was devastated when they stopped coming after one week. It was not fair! They had been coming every day, and she had bows in her hair and wore a pretty dress eve... Give your own review HERE! Blurbs, links and more at William Arthur Holmes dot com.
FYI for those researching insignificant corners of the web: Wayback MachinePlease support this website, should you be so inclined: buy one of ... read more
Don't you hate it when you're at work?The end. Wait, no, that's not the end. You're at work -- on the bottom floor, because that's where the snack machine is -- and you decide to use the restroom. The cleaning lady is in there, with her c ... read more
NOTATIONS ON HOSPITAL CHARTS Actual Sentences or notations Found In Patients' Hospital Charts She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night. Patient has chest pai ... read more
I keep joining these other social networking sites, only to be disappointed. The main problem is they insist I upload my contact list, which I refuse to do. You're welcome. :) Maybe this one -- Parler ... read more
So, I'm walking back from feeding the neighbor's dog while they're on vacation. I see my wife and daughter in the car up ahead, just about to turn onto our street. I'm looking at them. They're looking at me. They're still about a hundre ... read more
Eleanor's back surgery was a success!Everyone warned me against back surgery, she says. But, I'd be in a wheelchair now if I hadn't had surgery! ... read more
We fly out today. It would've been nice to have gotten one last good night's sleep, but the cat made sure that didn't happen. Stupid cat. Anyone want one? Seriously. She's very pretty and sweet when she's not keeping you from sleeping. ... read more
OK, now we're home! I'll try and do a trip summary tomorrow after a good night's sleep ... in my own bed. Tara says she feels like Dorothy, There's no place like home! ... read more
Translation: We'll be there soon. This time next week, actually. I really want to be able to communicate with our daughter Elizabeth when we get there. I've been playing ... read more
... food additives used in hundreds of children's foods and drinks can cause temper tantrums and disruptive behavior... Read, listen or watch the rest here: ... read more
When faced with too many expenses and not enough income and you have run out of expenses to reduce, rather than firing employees, the fair and socially responsible way to cut costs is NOT to fire employees who had nothing to do with those ... read more
The Holmes Family Newsletter Vol. 1, No. 5, September 5, 1989 Jeannie breaks elbow Placed on Disabled ListLathrop -- While attempting a sling-shot maneuver during a roller derby match last month with teammates Tiffany and Thomas, Jeanni ... read more
The Barking Dog Vol. 4 No. 6, July 22, 1992 Who names these newsletters, anyway? earthquakes, earthquakes! We're sick of earthquakes! Why doesn't the government do something!? On June 2 ... read more