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Vol. 1 - 1; 2; 3; 4; 5; 6; 7; 8; 9; 10Vol. 2 - 1; 2; 3; 4; 5; 6; 7; 8; 9; 10; 11; 12; 13; 14; 15Vol. 3 - 1; 2; 3; 4; 5; 6; 7; 8Vol. 4 - 1; 2; 3; 4; 5; 6; 7; 8Vol. 5 - 1; 2; 3; 4; 5; 6; 7; 8Vol. 6 - 1; 2; 3; 4; 5; 6; 7Vol. 7 - 1Vol. 8 - 1

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 1 No 1

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The Holmes Family Newsletter Vol. 1, No. 1, Since 1989 May 25, 1989 Editor's Note: This may be the only issue, so pay attention! Announcements Well, the big news, of course, is St ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 1 No 2

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The Holmes Family newsletter June 23, 1989 — Vol. 1, No. 2 — Since 1989 Editor's Note: This may be the last issue. NEWS Jeannie's dog, Chance, finally had her puppies. Ten o ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 1 No 3

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The Holmes Family Newsletter Vol. 1 No. 3, July, 1989 Editor's Note: Due to profanity, nudity, and the mature theme of this issue, parental discretion is advised. ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 1 No 4

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The Holmes Family Newsletter Vol. 1, No. 4, August 1, 1989 Largest Tri-Weekly Newsletter Circulation in the West! tri-weekly (tri-week'lee) 1. we TRY to get it out weekly) Editor ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 1 No 5

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The Holmes Family Newsletter Vol. 1, No. 5, September 5, 1989 Jeannie breaks elbow Placed on Disabled List Lathrop — While attempting a "sling-shot" maneuver during ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 1 No 6

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The Holmes Family Newsletter Vol. 1, No. 6a, September 17, 1989 Everyone seems to be on a diet these days. Lucy and Jeannie are trying a low carbohydrate/high protein diet. Don' ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 1 No 7

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The Holmes Family Newsletter Vol. 1, No. 7, October 5, 1989 Let's face it, these things are going to just keep coming. Steve arrested Steve received his first speeding ticket ever recentl ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 1 No 8

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The Holmes Family Newsletter Vol. 1, No. 8, October 23, 1989 earthquake!   Where were you when it hit? Don was just leaving his office on the 15th floor in downtown ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 1 No 9

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The Holmes Family Newsletter A Newsletter With A Mission In Life! Vol. 1, No. 9 Worldwide Circulation November 21, 1989 The Environmental Issue Only 34 days 'til Christm ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 1 No 10

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The Holmes Family Newsletter Vol. 1, No. 10 — Worldwide Circulation — December 6, 1989 Newsletter sold! The Holmes Family Newsletter was involved in a hos ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 2 No 15

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NEWS, ETC. Vol. 2, No. 15, December 18, 1990 "Christmas Issue" Lucy to Host Christmas Lucy will be having Christmas at her house this year. It's a potluck affair. Only those w ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 2 No 14

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The Daily GargoyleVol. 2, No. 14, November 16, 1990"Just when you thought it was safe to open the mailbox!"Editor's note: For those of you w ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 2 No 13

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Hometown NewsVol. 2, No. 13, October 20, 1990Editor's Note: This is most definitely the last issue. Bill graduates! After seven months, Bill has finally completed his computer programming course! The school, ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 2 No 12

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The Newsletter Vol. 2 No. 12, September 17, 1990 "Your Only News Source" It's a girl!! We asked Denise if she could hurry up and have the baby because we wanted to put out ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 2 No 11

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the NEWSLETTER Vol. 2, No. 11, August 13, 1990 Doug makes pilgrimage Doug, aka "Sluggo", made a pilgrimage to the Mormon church's genealogical library in Salt Lake City over a ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 2 No 10

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Things You Need To Know Vol. 2, No. 10, July 16, 1990 "Pioneer Portuguese" now available World famous Portuguese historian Lionel Holmes's latest work is now available at a store n ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 2 No 1

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HARD COPY Vol. 2, No. 1 "Hard-Hitting Journalism"January 3, 1990 formerly known as The Holmes Family Newsletter Predictions for 1990 Elvis P ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 2 No 2

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Bullseye Vol. 2, No. 2, January 26, 1990 formerly known as Hard Copy; before that, The Holmes Family Newsletter Denise expecting! Taking her cue from L ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 2 No 3

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Billy Club Vol. 2, No. 3, February 8, 1990 aka Bullseye, Hard Copy, The Holmes Family Newsletter Diane now a doctor Call her "Dr. Holmes" now. Diane Holmes, D.C., to be exact. She passed her exams last month and is now officially a chiropractor! Diane stated,"I ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 2 No 4

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Billy Club A new ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 2 No 5

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Big News & Other Stuff Vol. 2, No. 5 Yeah, another new name. March 19, 1990 Mike to return early Mike has had a change of plans and expects to return from ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 2 No 6

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theNEWSVol. 2, No. 6Back in spite of popular demand.April 16, 1990 WORLD NEWS Mike is back from Germany and looking very European. (Fancy haircut, pale complexion, but otherwise healthy.) He's having trouble getting used to speaking ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 2 No 7

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theNEWSVol. 2, No. 7, May 1, 1990Editor's Note: We would like to apologize for that last issue, but we won't. We'd like to say it'll never happen again, but hey. Mike gets job Mike has taken a job as a process server for a Modest ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 2 No 8

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The Holmes Family Newsletter Vol. 2, No. 8 "Anniversary Issue"May 25, 1990 Editor's Note: This is the big one! The big enchilada. The killer tomato. It's the anniversary issue! ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 2 No 9

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WORLD NEWS "Award-Winning Journalism" Vol. 2, No. 9, June 14, 1990 Dad kills rattler! Special to the News Back from a week in the wilds of Arizona, Dad ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 3 No 1

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news from La-La Land HAPPY NEW YEAR!! Vol. 3, No. 1, January 4, 1991 Newsletter editor murdered! The editor of this newsletter was apparently murdered "some time over the we ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 3 No 2

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the NEWSLETTER Vol. 3, No. 2, February 10, 1991 It's a girl... and a boy and a girl and a boy ...   Chance, a dog, has given birth to seven little dogs. Three boys and four gir ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 3 No 3

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and now ...THE NEWS Vol. 3, No. 3 (yes, only "No. 3") April 26, 1991 Doug returns from Hungary On March 21, Doug left Sacramento for Budapest (pronounced "booda-pesht"), Hungary. Taking advantage of a tickets-for-mugs trade with American Airlines (no kidding!), he fl ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 3 No 4

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the Evening Star Post-Tribune Dispatch (we couldn't decide on a name) Vol. 3, No. 4, June 4, 1991 Bikers ride to Yosemite On Mother's Day, John, Jeannie, Don and Diane ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 3 No 5

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NEWS Vol. 3, No. 5, July 6, 1991 Northern California's leading newsletter since 1989 (except for those few months when we were Southern California's leading newsletter) Record heat melts Sacto!Molten steel and rubber cover city ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 3 No 6

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The Leaky Faucet "Irritating, yet soothing. Obnoxious, yet hypnotic"Vol. 3, No. 6, July 30, 1991 Sapphire dispute settled out of court Steve of Sacramento, CA, invested in a s ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 3 No 7

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The Leaky Faucet Vol. 3, No. 7, October 14, 1991 Mike lands great job! Michael has been named Executive Producer of Cal State Stanislaus' new bi-weekly cable television show. It will bas ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 3 No 8

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The Leaky Faucet Vol. 3, No. 8, December , 1991 Steve & Denise host Thanksgiving Turkey was served and everybody ate it. What else is there to say? Okay, so it was an excellent meal than ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 4 No 1

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The Leaky Faucet Vol. 4, No. 1, January 4, 1992 "Everything you've ever wanted to know about anything." Diane has surgery On December 3, Diane of Hayward, CA had back ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 4 No 2

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The Leaky Faucet Vol. 4, No. 2, February 13, 1992 "The quintessential newsletter."Warning: May not be suitable for the humor impaired. Elvis lives! Yes, all ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 4 No 3

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The Leaky Faucet Vol. 4, No. 3, March 18, 1992 "More of the same, basically." Doug elected president With this nation in the throes of its quadrennial tradition of polit ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 4 No 4

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The Squeaky Sprocket Vol. 4, No. 4, May 11, 1992"The intelligent person's newsletter of choice." Riots in L.A., earthquakes in So. Cal and Eureka! Is the world coming to an end? Probably. And did you notice that all these things happened at a time when this newsletter was ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 4 No 5

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The Broken Record Vol. 4, No. 5, June 25, 1992 "Predictable, irritating. Really, no redeeming qualities whatsoever." L.A. riots: The aftermath In the aftermath of the Los Angeles riots, religious and community leaders speak of healing, re ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 4 No 6

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The Barking Dog Vol. 4 No. 6, July 22, 1992 "Who names these newsletters, anyway?" earthquakes, earthquakes! We're sick of earthquakes! Why doesn't the government do something!? On June 28, 1992, Southern California suffered from twin earthqua ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 4 No 7

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The Belching Frog Vol. 4, No. 7, September 16, 1992 "Thomas should like this name." Doug returns again On August 26, Doug returned from Europe for the second time in a ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 4 No 8

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The Leaping Lizard Vol. 4, No. 8, October 20, 1992 EDITOR'S NOTE ... After Grandma's recent birthday party (see article below), this newsletter was swamped with requests from people wanting to ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 5 No 1

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The Stupid Kangaroo Vol. 5, No. 1, February 1, 1993 Editor's Note: This newsletter welcomes the New Year (kicking and screaming, but that's to be expected) and we wish all our readers (and a few others) ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 5 No 2

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The Sacred CowVol. 5, No. 2, March 15, 1993 Dad sucked from plane! Well, almost. And it was 41 years ago. Hey, nobody can accuse us of being accurate or current (or relevant, ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 5 No 3

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A Face in the CrowdVol. 5, No. 3, May 25, 1993 Eleanor Gets License After taking the DMV ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 5 No 4

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Not Just Another NewsletterMONDAY, JULY 19, 1993CIRCULATION: From 8 to 15 (depending on our mood and how many stamps we have)Copyright 1993 / Bill Holmes Enterprises / 2 pages ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 5 No 5

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the rabblerouser Vol. 5, No. 5, August 8, 1993 Bill moving to Nashville Bill is moving to Nashville, Tennessee to pursue his boyhood dream of being a country singing star! Oh wait, that's Don's boyhood dream. Bill's just moving there for the he ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 5 No 7

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The Rotten Apple Journalism with visible holesVol. 5 No. 7, December 1, 1993 Mike Rolls Car! LIVINGSTON, CA - Remember we told you about Mike's new car in the previous issue? Well, he totalled it a coup ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 5 No 8

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The Happy Hairball (something we keep coughing up) Volume 5, Number 8 December 20, 1993 Publisher: This guy — Editor: Same guy Distributor: Brave little delivery boys and girls worldwide Address: Nashville, TN 37215 A Thanksgiving Feast ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 6 No 2

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Falling Down a Manhole(can be quite painful and should be avoided)Vol. 6, No. 2, March 1, 1994 Michael moves! Michael has moved out of his mother, Lucy's, house. It's the first time I've been able to afford it, he says. Believe me, it ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 6 No 3

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The Obtuse Moose Vol. 6, No. 3, April 21, 1994 Jeannie finds dog Jeannie and John have a ranch in Tracy, California. To help pay the bills, they board a few horses. One of those horses, a fat old gray Arabian mare, had been particularly ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 6 No 4

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Fish Stories Best when lightly buttered, with just a pinch of lemon. Vol. 6 No. 4sometime between April and August 1994 Tiffany wins awards Tiffany and her horse, Rocky, of T ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 6 No 5

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Behind the Eight Ball Who is that behind the eight ball, anyway? Vol. 6 No. 5, August 21, 1994 Jeannie Breaks Hand Jeannie, a DMV employee in Tracy, CA, broke h ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 6 No 6

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Coyote BreathVol. 6 No. 6, October 26, 1994 Don rides to Denver In August, Don rode his motorcycle from Nashville to Denver. He wouldn't say why or what he did while in Denver. All we know is that he returned to Nashville a week later, but only stopped for a quick chiropractic adjustment before continuing south to Florida. ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 6 No 7

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Yee-Haw The only newsletter we do! Vol. 6, No. 7, December 29, 1994Belinda Has Puppies! Anoth ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 7 No 1

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The Wandering Eye Vol. 7 No. 1, March 19, 1995 We're back! Sorry it took so long between issues, but the entire staff was frozen solid in a block of ice the past three months. We just now thawe ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter Vol 8 No 1

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Once in a Blue MoonVol. 8 No. 1, February 1997 A lot has happened since our last newsletter, so let's just jump right in with the news... Mike and Evelyn get married Almost two years ago now (June 21, 1995, actually), Mike married his longtime friend, Evelyn. Only a select few of the newsletter staff were invited: Lionel ( ... read more

Family Newsletter

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Old stuff, but some of it's still funny ... It's basically the precursor to this website. Click the links in the table of contents, above. Otherwise, just do a search in the home page's search box for newsletter (without quotes). ... read more

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