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The Lazy Pug Cafe

( culture / writing / stories )
My latest short story, based on our real life pugs Daisy, Chandler and Joey, the latter of whom is the only one still alive and barking. See https://www.amazon.com/dp/B085XM6QW8 ... read more

Best Fiction Of 2019 (GoodReads)

( culture / writing / books / novels )
via Best Fiction Books 2019 The Testaments by Margaret Atwood. Author and activist Margaret Atwood wins this year's Best Fiction award for her ... read more

Review My Books

( culture / writing / books / novels )
If you've read any of my novels, below, please give them a review on Amazon. Thanks! ... read more

Good Article About Storytelling

( culture / writing / stories )
via the-good-guy-bad-guy-myth Pop culture today is obsessed with the battle between good and evil. Traditional folktales never were. What changed? ... read more

Best And Worst Self-Publishing Sites

( culture / writing / advice )
Good site showing who to trust (or not) when it comes to self-publishing: self-publishing-service-reviews ... read more

Most Popular Site On The Internet

( culture / writing / blog / internet )
This is the 12,157,539th most popular website in the world, according to silktide.com! Wow! We have hit the big time. See image here: ... read more

How To Support This Website

( culture / writing / blog / internet )
...should you be so inclined: Buy one of my books at Amazon or SmashWords, or Buy me a (virtual) cup of coffee ... read more

My Writer's Platform

( culture / writing / books / novels )
WilliamArthurHolmes.com is my writer's platform, with a page showing where you can buy, preview and/or review all of my books. Or, just look below... ... read more

Another Day In Paradise, Day 2751

( culture / writing / blog / employment )
Sitting here looking at James (not his real name) to my right. My workday would be sooooo much better if I could ignore him, but, being in the cubicle across the aisle, I can't. For those new to this space, James is an idiot. Literally. Okay, idiot/savant might be more accurate. He is wicked smart when it comes to computer programming, but I'm pr ... read more

All Of My Books

( culture / writing / books / novels )
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Another Way: Beyond The Status Quo

( culture / writing / books / novels )
A politically-incorrect manifesto. Anti-corporate crusader Dobie Pokorny wants to save the world. His old boss, Colonel Charonne, wants to stop him. On his speaking truth to power tour, Dobie meets and falls in love with Kaylie while enduring attacks at every turn. Can they outrun Charonne and his minions? Will Major Watson steal her away? Is she ... read more

Last Train Out (again)

( culture / writing / books / novels )
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Temporary Insanity

( culture / writing / books / novels )
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Writing

( culture / writing )
Writers Need Followers Screenplay submitted New rules for writers Started a new ... read more

Recently-discovered Book Repository

( culture / writing / books )
Hathi Trust Digital Library: hathitrust.org ... read more

How To Move A Book Store

( culture / writing / books )
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Novels/novellas

( culture / writing / books / novels )
Books/publications by me and other family members ... read more

Diary, 2017/07/29

( culture / writing / blog / animals )
I just went down the road to the quickie-mart and got coffee. It's something I do most every weekend morning since throwing away my home coffee maker to keep me from drinking too much of it. On the way there, I saw what I thought was a dead turtle in the road. I hate that. Poor things just can't move fast enough. Half way there, up ahead, a ... read more

Novellas And Novels

( culture / writing / books / novels )
Temporary Insanity, Lottery President, Operation Detour, Last Train Out, Another Way: Beyond the Status Quo ... read more

Please Patronize Me

( culture / writing / blog / internet )
Check out my Patreon page. Patrons get free stuff! Well, not technically free since you do have to pay at least $1 to get anything. Still ... "It would be amazing if I had any fans at all to help finance what I do! Thank you for (possibly) being one.&qu ... read more

One Of The All-time Great Rock-era Lyricists

( culture / writing / poetry )
Listening to Don Henley this morning. He is one of the all-time great lyricists/poets. Just thought I'd say so. Then ... read more

Writers Need Followers?

( culture / writing )
Publishers and writing "gurus" preach that writers need followers. The problem is that emotionally-stable people don't want followers, they want friends, compatriots, people who listen, not followers. Especially zombie followers. They're the worst! :) ... read more

Fence Guy

( culture / writing / blog )
So, the wife texts me saying, "Fence guy quoted $35500 to do the fence. He's coming out Wednesday." This is a fence repair for a small backyard, not a new thousand acre fence. Me: "How much?!" Wife (paraphrasing): "Oops, I left out the decimal point! ... read more

Christmas Music

( culture / writing / blog )
With wife playing Christmas music this morning (as soon as is socially acceptable), it put me in the mood for this: Christian melodic death metal. Something for ... read more

Last Train Out

( culture / writing / books / novels )
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My Novels

( culture / writing / books / novels )
... read more

You Saying I'm Ugly?

( culture / writing / blog )
I was explaining to my 9 year old daughter what networking is, and that I'm not very good at it. She said, That's because a lot of people judge you by your looks. And you're not ... You trying to say I'm ugly? I don't think so, she said, but other people do, yeah. Don't you just love kids? ... read more

Devastating Earthquake Rocks Southland

( culture / writing / stories )
from 1993 A powerful earthquake measuring 8.3 on the Richter Scale brought Southern California to its knees just before dawn yesterday. Hundreds of buildings in the greater Los Angeles area were completely destroyed, dozens more rendered uninhabitable. L.A.'s newly-completed MetroRail subway system collapsed in on itself. Virtually every ... read more

Aliens Spoke To Me

( culture / writing / stories )
from 1993 I just started driving. I don't know why. Boredom, I guess. I left my house around noon. I'd had enough of watching football on t.v. and just felt like getting out. When I hopped into my truck I had no idea where I might go. East, I thought. To the desert, maybe. See the desert, I said to myself. To the desert I w ... read more

Remmy Gets Gas

( culture / writing / stories )
from July 1990 by Bill Remmy pulled into the gas station and jumped out of his pickup. He went to the rear of the truck, checked his reflection in the camper shell window, smiled, and slid the gas nozzle into the tank. He left the pump on automatic and wandered over to ... read more

So Much For Sacrificial Rites

( culture / writing / stories )
from February 1990 by Bill Holmes The High Priest announced, We must sacrifice a human life tonight. The crowd of Mibuku natives milling around the fire immediately tensed and fell silent. Suddenly, the High Priest pointed his holy finger at a lowly servant fanning the Queen. The servan ... read more

Baub

( culture / writing / stories )
by William Arthur Bill Holmes. © Copyright 1990-2010 From September 5, 1989 In the vast expanse of Llycete Spaceport's docking yard on this below-freezing winter morning, the Mraclys, a small ship badly in need of a paint job, stood apart from the other ships. It stood out mostly because it was so ugly. Green on top, orange ... read more

Best Thrillers Of All Time

( culture / writing / books / novels )
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Advice For Writing

( culture / writing / advice )
A writer's narrative perspective (their voice, or, how they come across to their reader) must be: This is me talking to you.That's it. Nothing more, nothing less.It's not: This is me 100 years ago speaking in a classical voice.It's not: Speaking as if from professor to student or from adult to child.It's not: This is ... read more

My Twitter Feed

( culture / writing / tweets )
Tweets by @TheBillHolmes And if the network you're on has Twitter blocked, but you're Jonesing for more of my witty banter, ... read more

Tweets

( culture / writing / tweets )
My Twitter feed: by @TheBillHolmes Some of my better ones, according to me ... Never work FOR someone else, work WITH them. I do some of my best work when I'm supposed to be doing something else. ... read more

This Is Deep

( culture / writing / blog / internet )
I just had to share this comment someone left here on FriendsNews.com. Read it, absorb it, digest it, lather, rinse and repeat it. Then let me know what the %$# it means! Here it is: "I comprehend that is genuinely uninteresting and you're merely skipping to the next comment, nonetheless i basically preferred to toss ... read more

How Does Writing Affect Your Brain?

( culture / writing )
How Does Writing Affect Your Brain? infographic.Interesting ... to me, anyway. Most of us write a little something everyday. It might be a grocery list, a poem, or a write-up on the infographic of the day. As we go through ... read more

Recent Tweets

( culture / writing / tweets )
I remember when I didn't know what a tweet was, other than the sound a bird makes. It wasn't so long ago, either. Below is just a random list of tweets. Pathetic, I know, but I felt the need to put something new on the site. Anyway... Saturday, July 20, 2013:   Picked more blackberries this evening, just before dark, before ... read more

Lost A Friend

( culture / writing / blog / internet )
No, not that kind of lost (knock on wood). So get that lump out of your throat. No, I just noticed I've lost a friend.Don't you hate it when you're walking along talking to someone, it's crowded, you hear a muffled scream but think nothing of it, only to realize several blocks down the street that your friend is no longer walking besi ... read more

Dinner And A Show

( culture / writing / blog / restaurants )
After stopping at Tara's sister Stephanie's house in Smyrna to pick up a newly-refurbished Kindle Fire that Todd ... read more

Just Another Sunday

( culture / writing / blog )
Wife and kid are off at this thing called church. Maybe you've heard of it. I'm not familiar. Not sure what to make of it. :)I'm basically just hanging out waiting for the new mattress to be delivered. We told the delivery guy, Anytime! He sounded foreign. I hope he shows up before 10pm! Never know with these dang ferners! Anyway, we went ... read more

Started A New Story Today

( culture / writing / stories )
I started writing a new story today. Can't say much about it except that it's pretty much sci-fi, though it might wander into religion and politics. So, yeah, it should offend just about everyone.Then I took a break and started cleaning. Did a load of dishes. Vacuumed and cleaned the office carpet because not one, but two dogs threw up behind ... read more

About My Books

( culture / writing / books / novels )
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Father's Day

( culture / writing / blog / internet )
I'm just writing this post to get something new on the blog other than that free ad for Windows 7. :) We drove up to be with my wife's side of the family today for Father's Day. An extra special treat upon returning home was to discover that our 8-year-old, Elizabeth, had decided to trim her hair — to give herself bangs — on t ... read more

Guest Posting

( culture / writing / advice )
I've been following and listening to Jeff Goins's TribeWriters program, and he says an important aspect to successful blogging (at least as far as getting noticed) is to guest post on other people's blogs. Jeff is a great resource, by the way. So, if you want to post something on my blog, ... read more

House Cleaning

( culture / writing / blog )
Doling out who would be doing what for today's house cleaning project, my wife Tara assigned the following to me: Strip and make the bed. Knowing me, she then felt the need to clarify this. That means strip the bed. I'll just let that sink in for those who don't immediately get it. During the chores, Tara told Elizabeth ... read more

Holiday World

( culture / writing / blog / vacation )
I rode a rollercoaster for the first time in I don't know how long. It was a blast! The Raven has been voted most awesome or whatever wooden coaster several times in the past ten years. The Voyage, now the reigning champ of wooden coasters, was temporarily unavailable. Surprising ... read more

Not Pulled Over

( culture / writing / blog / dream )
Had a very brief, mundane, realistic dream the night before last in which I was pulled over by a traffic cop. I didn't think much about it until the next morning when I was going down Antioch Pike to a client's office. That particular stretch (as you pass the sports fields) is infamous as a speed trap. The speed limit is 35, but there's really no r ... read more

I Am Now A Published Author

( culture / writing / books / novels )
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Great Suction!

( culture / writing / blog )
In preparation for the much-anticipated Comcast installation (Internet, not TV), I do as they suggest and clear out a space where I want them to put the cable wall jack. Once I have that space cleared, I decide to vacuum the area. It's almost an instinctive reaction: You clear out a space that ... read more

Doing The Dishes

( culture / writing / blog )
So, my wife tells me most people do the dishes every day. I don't believe her. Every day? I ask.Yes, every day, she says.Every single day? I persist. She nods. You don't mean, I search for clarification, it's something that is an 'every day' thing, but in reality is not done literally every single day, do you?No, she i ... read more

Tried To Mow The Lawn

( culture / writing / blog )
Well, I tried to mow the lawn, but the lawnmower wouldn't start. I swear. :) It's probably all clogged up from sitting there unused all winter. It was a hand-me-down mower, anyway, probably in need of replacing, but that's just not in the budget right now. Actually, the yard looks better au natural at the moment because it's ... read more

Your Novel Blueprint

( culture / writing / advice / novels )
Good article for writers. via Your Novel Blueprint  WritersDigest.com "Writing a novel and building a house are pretty similar when you think about it. For instance, most builders or homeowners spend a lot of time dreaming about ... read more

A Couple Of Books/novellas On Kindle

( culture / writing / books / novels )
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Diary, 2012/07/02

( culture / writing / blog )
It almost rained today. I know, exciting. Apparently, it did rain pretty hard in some places, but not here on the south side. Hopefully, by this time next week it will have rained several times. The possibility is in the forecast, anyway. Just trying to keep my crops healthy. As Mark Twain said, Everybody ... read more

Diary, 2012/06/30

( culture / writing / blog )
It's supposed to be record heat again today. Yesterday was 109F degrees, which is unheard of in Nashville. Today is supposed to be 107F. I've already watered my fruit trees and vegetable garden in the backyard this morning. Yesterday when I came home from work, the garden was literally wilted from the heat. I have never had an entire garden wilt be ... read more

New Rules For Writers

( culture / writing / advice )
Anis Shivani: New Rules For Writers: Ignore Publicity, Shun Crowds, Refuse Recognition And More. ... read more

Couch Potato

( culture / writing / blog )
I've been a couch potato all day. Well, most of the day. I did finally pull up the dead crops in the vegetable garden at one point. And I did do some recycling, taking the paper, bottles, cans and plastic bags out of the trash cans and putting it into the appropriate recycle bins in the garage. I tried to accomplish a few things on the ... read more

New Washer

( culture / writing / blog / appliances )
The new washer was delivered today. I let them take the old one away even though we'd just bought it (used) a week ago. That's right, it lasted just one week. Oh well, we didn't really need that $200 (after tax and delivery), anyway. </sarcasm> I say let them take it because I could have had the repairman from the store, DT's Used Ap ... read more

Lucy's Birthday

( culture / writing / blog )
Today's my sister Lucy's birthday. She must be having a good one, because she has not replied to anyone's email birthday greeting. The previous weekend was our nephew Daniel's 2nd birthday party in Smyrna. That kid partied until it was almost dark! In other birthday news, we drove all the way to Smyrna again (15 miles away) to get ... read more

Diary, 2010/07/24

( culture / writing / blog )
We all went to the Nashville Zoo today. My God it was hot ... and sticky. Luckily, Blue Bell Ice Cream was handing out free cups of vanilla ice cream, which we grabbed upon arrival and at departure. I think today was literally the hott ... read more

Installed The New Dishwasher

( culture / writing / blog / appliances )
I finally got around to installing the new dishwasher that Tara's sister Stephanie mysteriously bought for us. Not sure why, but I never look a gift horse in the mouth. Seriously, if anyone ever feels like giving me something, feel free! :) Anyway, taking apart the old one (and its hoses) released the most foul stench into the house. When Tara got ... read more

McDonalds Wi-fi

( culture / writing / blog / internet )
In Nashville, anyway, it seems you can get around their proxy system (those outlets that use it), simply by using Google Chrome and maybe Firefox. It might be as simple as using any browser other than Internet Explorer. Using Internet Explorer, I tried to be a good boy and sign up for a free account. The only problem is that you h ... read more

Screenplay Submitted

( culture / writing )
I submitted a screenplay to Scriptapalooza today. See scriptapalooza.com. The first deadline is Friday the 5th. The real deadline is April 15. I think first prize is $10,000, but the main thing is that real Hollywood industry people read all of the scripts, so maybe even if you don't win the c ... read more

My Cousin Kenny's Book

( culture / writing / books / health )
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Stories To Download

( culture / writing / books / novels )
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A Day Without My Car

( culture / writing / blog / transportation )
I'm just testing this Windows Live Writer software. UPDATE: There's now a newer, open-source version here. It was a dark and stormy night ... No, it was an unusually cold day ... yeah, that's it ... for the first we ... read more

Diary, 2009/10/28

( culture / writing / blog )
We had a Fall Festival party at Elizabeth's daycare/preschool tonight (called that because some parents don't like Halloween). Elizabeth went dressed up in her Minnie Mouse costume. She was very cute. But then, she's cute no matter how she's dressed. :) They had a magic show that was cute, but I've seen better. :) Actually, Elizabeth really enj ... read more

Diary, 2009/10/17

( culture / writing / blog )
Been trying to learn Cisco (network routing equipment) online through skillsoft.com, which I was given access to in my severance package. Maybe I need to just move out in order to get everything done that needs getting done. My 4 year old dau ... read more

Too Many Doctors Lately

( culture / writing / blog )
I had knee surgery the other day. They removed my bursa sac that kept filling up with fluid due to an injury. The only thing I can figure is that it happened when I helped this neighbor kid stop his bike as he was coming down the hill, scared and saying, Help! I jumped in front of him and stopped him, but he and the bike were heavier, with more m ... read more

Haircut

( culture / writing / blog )
Got a haircut today. Finally! What little I have left — after all the stress at work and the stress of the recent back pain — was getting pretty long and goofy-looking unless it was wet and slicked back. Anyway, I was sitting there in my chair getting my hair cut by the same middle aged woman who cut it last time. I had my head down as ... read more

Christmas 2008

( culture / writing / blog )
It took five months, but here it is: Christmas 2008 ... read more

New Fence

( culture / writing / blog )
I forgot to mention that I built a fence last weekend. It only spans about 12 feet from the side of the house to the retaining wall dividing us from our slightly-uphill neighbor. I've still got to cut a gate into it. Hopefully, I can pull that off. I pulled it off. See below. Then, maybe next weekend I'll get the other side of the house fenced. T ... read more

Thought For The Day

( culture / writing / blog )
I was noticing how I'm not as good of a speller as I used be, or at least not as quick. Old age, I figured. Brain deteriorating. Oh well. Then I decided it's not necessarily that big a deal when certain brain synapses or pathways/habits die or just get worn out. It just forces me to use other mental processes, other brain routes, sending me in ... read more

Diary, 2009/04/02

( culture / writing / blog )
Today is Dad's birthday. 90 years old! Amazing. I'm 48, in case you're wondering. Amazing ... ly disgusting! Oh well. Anyway, back to Dad. Longevity runs in his side of the family. His mother lived to be 101. His father made it to 81 or so, as did his oldest brother and only sister ... I think. I didn't really pay attention to their age w ... read more

Our First Outside Christmas Lights, Ever!

( culture / writing / blog )
That's it. No story. Here's the link: Our first outside Christmas lights ... read more

Diary, 2008/11/10

( culture / writing / blog )
Parents all worry about how well they're raising their kids; how they will behave; what kind of people they will grow up to be. Well, tonight I discovered a sad truth about our youngest daughter, Sunny. She likes to hang out in gutters. You heard me. Gutters! Oh, the shame of it all! Sunny is a cat, in case you didn't know. She was apparently h ... read more

Diary, 2008/11/07

( culture / writing / blog )
Well, I had a hell of a day. It started off normally enough, though it was raining, which is increasingly rare around here. I dropped Elizabeth off at school on my way to work, and from there my day took a wrong turn. I took side streets the rest of the way to work instead of the main Old Hickory Blvd route. The side streets are just faster, us ... read more

Diary, 2008/04/26

( culture / writing / blog )
I took Joey to the vet this morning for a routine follow-up. I volunteered because I thought his appointment would conflict with Tara's plans to take Elizabeth to meet up with her Auntie, Tara's sister Sandy, at the Franklin Street Fair. Tara conveniently allowed me to think that. When Joey and I got back home, Tara and Elizabeth were both stil ... read more

Poetry

( culture / writing / poetry )
A Prince in Disguise ... read more

People You'll Be Missing And Why

( culture / writing / poetry )
by Jeannie Womack The time has come for you to move on, but I'm sure you'll be missing us while you are gone; No more conversation with boss Catherine to really make you think, You'll miss your adventures with super ... read more

Hats

( culture / writing / poetry )
by Jeannie Womack Joseph wore many hats in his life, the first one was of son, next an officer, a Dutch Marine, that to him was fun; In Maastricht, in '49, he married his childhood love, now he was T ... read more

A Prince In Disguise

( culture / writing / poetry )
by Jeannie Womack We met on the race track in '72 I couldn't resist his eyes, so blue We soon fell in love and started a life In '76 he made me his wife A teacher, leader, rebel and yes A son, brother ... read more

The Run

( culture / writing / poetry )
by Jeannie Womack Running in the rain isn't the pain a non-runner might think it would be I put on my jacket that has a hood, lace up my shoes, and stretching is good I open the door, expecting more ... read more

A Saga Of Seven

( culture / writing / poetry )
This is a story in the style called rap that'll surely encourage an afternoon nap of a family of seven, their kids and their wives and something regarding their travels and lives. Now first there was Greg, a Brooklyn-born lad; and then it was Lucy that Mom and Dad had. She was born at Sing Sing (no, not in the ... read more

Short Stories

( culture / writing / stories )
Artwork Jokes   Music   The password (if any) for these stories is readme (w ... read more

Books

( culture / writing / books )
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The Slow Leak

( culture / writing / stories )
by Steve Holmes Sept. 9, 2000 It was a gorgeous Sunday near the end of September and I needed some exercise. Exercise, just for the sake of exercise was probably best done by running on the treadmill at the athletic club. But on a day like that, just exercise wasn't enough. I would take a bike ride on the American River Bike trail. C ... read more

The Admired Car

( culture / writing / stories )
by Steve Holmes, © Copyright 2001 Beep, beep, blink, blink! How the car, George wished she could honk her horn and flash her lights. A car with a name? Yes, she knew her name was George because she heard one of her creators say it, By George, she's a beauty. It was a Sunday afternoon in the spring of 1925. Cars ... read more

Murder, Or Just An Honest Mistake?

( culture / writing / stories )
by William Arthur Bill Holmes. © Copyright 1990-2010 The following story is rated PG. You figure it out. Madison Ripley Smith was sitting at his desk with his feet propped up when she walked in. Long legs, hourglass shape, luxurious jet-black hair, and matching jet-black eyes.What's with the black eyes, Smit ... read more

A Day At The Fair

( culture / writing / stories )
by William Arthur Bill Holmes. © Copyright 1990-2010 I pulled into Angel's Camp around noon. I was supposed to be meeting my brother Don and his wife Diane there ... somewhere. We hadn't actually decided on a meeting place. That would have been too easy. I drove south on the main street through town (probably Main Street, ... read more

Lunch At Jack-In-The-Box

( culture / writing / stories )
by William Arthur Bill Holmes. © Copyright 1990-2010 Driving around town the other day, I somehow ended up in Hollywood. I don't get to Hollywood much anymore and don't usually find myself missing it. But it was a beautiful day. And seeing all the quaint shops — each striving for uniqueness — and the many people on ... read more

The Leaky Weekly

( culture / writing / stories )
by William Arthur Bill Holmes. © Copyright 1990-2010 The Leaky Weekly's motto used to be: It's Not Just A Newspaper, It's A Piece Of Us. This was quickly perverted by the locals into: It's not just a newspaper, it's a piece of ass. So the motto was changed to: It's Not Just A Newspaper, It's A Family Newsletter. And that's ... read more

One Of Those Nights

( culture / writing / stories )
by William Arthur Bill Holmes. © Copyright 1990-2010 It was late. Claude couldn't sleep. He decided to walk to the corner liquor store for munchies and beer. As he entered the store, he noticed a girl at the phone-booth by the door. She smiled a curious smile and Claude smiled back uncertainly, then proceeded into the store. ... read more

Lipstick & WD-40

( culture / writing / stories )
by William Arthur Bill Holmes. © Copyright 1990 Sandi strolled out of the motel room wearing her tight spandex pants, high-heeled shoes and a simple peasant blouse. She had just turned another trick and she wanted to vomit. This was not a reaction to just the one trick, but from the life she had been leading these past several ... read more

Good Friday

( culture / writing / blog )
It WAS a good Friday. There was nothing religious about it. If you know me at all, that wouldn't surprise you. I was just reading my previous post and wanted to have something more positive this time. We're all still adjusting to each other and getting better at it every day. That last post was three weeks ago and feels like months ago. She alm ... read more

A Girl Named Lucy

( culture / writing / poetry )
from 1990 This is a story 'bout a girl named Lucy Otherwise known as The Rappin' Watusi She lays down a beat that gets your toes tappin' If your toes get tired, let your fingers do the snappin' She says Hey buddy, don't you be no square If you can't find a partner, use a wooden chair Okay, so you've hear ... read more

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