Tara's female family and friends threw Elizabeth a baby shower last weekend. I was the only man there. The only reason I went was so that any other men showing up wouldn't be the only man. Oh well. I was able to get a lot on video, and ... read more
If you buy underwear at Walmart, they will be able to track wherever you go. If their sales are not hurt by this announcement, they will institute it in more products, probably eventually all products. According to ... read more
We leave in an hour for Court. I just got back from breakfast. Tara did not join me because she can't eat, she's so nervous. Gotta go get dressed. Wish us luck! ... read more
I think I'm addicted to cereal, I said. Addicted? she asked. Yeah, I'm gonna hit the street looking for my latest fix. And by 'street,' you mean Aisle 3 at Kroger, right?Don't question my street cred! ... read more
For most people, winning $300 million in the lottery would be enough. They would retire, buy a big house and travel the world. Not Benny. He took the money and ran... for president. The house he had in mind was the White House. He didn't want to travel the world so much as save it from politicians. Retire? "I'll retire when I'm dead!" he said, not knowing so many people had that exact retirement plan in mind for him.
first few lines
Benny sat alone by the door in a recently opened Asian restaurant. The laminated menu offered Mongolian, Chinese and Japanese dishes, with each written in its native language. He had to flip it over for the English version on the back.
He was taking his therapist's advice, "throwing caution to the wind" and "letting the chips fall where they may." A sex therapist branching out to grief counseling, she was all about the clichés.
How to find those hard-to-find movies and TV shows on Netflix:Netflix secret codes: how to browse hidden films and TV showsUPDATE: Not sure th ... read more
The morning was cold and brightEverything was feeling rightI hooked up the horse to the cartOnto the track, we do dartJeppy Ho is the gelding I will raceHe has such a jazzy fast paceWe all are excited todayTo me this is just like playMy fam ... read more
from 1990This is a story 'bout a girl named LucyOtherwise known as The Rappin' WatusiShe lays down a beat that gets your toes tappin'If your toes get tired, let your fingers do the snappin'She says Hey buddy, don't you be no squa ... read more
Acknowledging Receipt of Australopithicus Spiff-arinoThe story behind the letter below is that there is a man in Newport, RI named Scott Williams who digs things out of his backyard and sends the stuff he finds to the Smithsonian Institutio ... read more
Get action do things be sane don't fritter away your time create act take a place wherever you are and be somebody get action. -- Theodore Roosevel ... read more
We made it this far! The plane ride was terrible for several minutes when we had to fasten our seat belts, which Elizabeth did not want to do. She SCREAMED loudly for quite a while, ticking off everyone nearby. Luckily, part of it was dro ... read more
PLEASE remember to check your cupboards when you get home tonight!!!Throw away ALL OUTDATED pancake mix, brownie mixes, Bisquick, cake and cookie mixes, etc. , you have in your home. A high school student had pancakes and it almost became ... read more
And remember those politicians who are in the banks' back pocket (hint: it's most of them)Backing a lower court ruling made in 2009, it said two foreclosure sales were invalid because the banks did not prove that they owned them at the tim ... read more
Fish Stories Best when lightly buttered, with just a pinch of lemon. Vol. 6 No. 4June 28, 1994 Tiffany wins awardsTiffany and her horse, Rocky, of Tracy, CA, competed in a local horse show a couple of months ago. See how current this new ... read more
HARD COPY Vol. 2, No. 1 Hard-Hitting JournalismJanuary 3, 1990 formerly known as The Holmes Family Newsletter Predictions for 1990 Elvis Presley will still be dead. Vice-President Quayle will be kicked out of offi ... read more
Hometown NewsVol. 2, No. 13, October 20, 1990Editor's Note: This is most definitely the last issue. Bill graduates!After seven months, Bill has finally comple ... read more
The Holmes Family Newsletter A Newsletter With A Mission In Life! Vol. 1, No. 9 Worldwide Circulation November 21, 1989 The Environmental Issue Only 34 days 'til Christmas And where will this year's celebration be? Well, L ... read more