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Driving wife's Jetta while my car gets serviced. I called it a piece of $h! while I tried to climb out. Its door hit me in the forehead during the struggle. So, I guess we're even. ... read more

The tech giant continues to police discussions about the coronavirus. Read, listen or watch the rest here: ... read more

Handymen/women at their finest ... read more

If you came here looking for an actual article, you'll be disappointed. The title has more words than the article, or did until I wrote this sentence. This is a joke, though I wouldn't be surprised to hear this is actually happening. Elo ... read more

New Los Angeles Driver's ExamFor those not fortunate enough to live in Los Angeles, here is a copy of the Los Angeles Driver's Exam. For those of you who are, study real hard. This is a new exam. Since driving conditions (and cultu ... read more

I slept on the floor most of last night. It's a little after 7 a. m. here. Elizabeth refuses to sleep in her crib, even though we're told that's what she slept in at the orphanage. So, she sleeps with us in our bed. That bed is barely ... read more

Someone asked, Do you guys do the grooming at your place only, or do you come to the dog's home?We don't d ... read more

As Elizabeth likes to say, she and I were hanging out today while Tara had a girls' day out with Ronica. I think Tara's was a belated birthday thing. Hers was on the 10th. Anyway, once Ronica finally called -- after Tara had started to ... read more

Well, I had an exciting morning. Who needs coffee to wake up? It was around 5:30 when I let our pug Joey out in the backyard. I'm standing there keeping an eye out for critters (there is no fence) when, sure enough, a ... read more

Elizabeth received a birthday card from Grandpa today with $20 inside! She said, I love your dad! Tell him thank you very much! Your dad is rich! I wouldn't have thought such an old old person would have so much money! ... read more

Does your whole house smell like dog urine? If so, you've come to the right place! If a dog hasn't been trained correctly or is suffering from a health problem, it's likely that it won't be able to control itself in the house. If your dog ... read more

This is the second denial in as many days. Yesterday it was the life insurance company. Today, I got one of those job application denial emails:Thank you for your interest in our recent opening. We have had a chance to review your res ... read more

We bought the Lumber item just the other day at the Giving Machine in front of Nashville's Bridgestone Arena as my wife's friend Andrea Ballard sang Christmas carols nearby. See more here: ... read more

A protest against being human rats in pharma's Replicon vaccine (bioweapon) rollout. Will the other sovereign people of the world stand with them? Report by James Corbett of the Corbett Report:W ... read more

... the average person's cumulative exposure to fluoride from food, beverages, personal care products, and water is up to seven times the recommended maximum level, according to a government-compiled toxicological profile. ... read more

It's on my doctor's advice because of my high PSA count in my blood test. That's supposedly an indicator of possible prostate cancer, but I doubt it. They said it only means that 10-15% of the time. No matter what they find, I intend to ... read more

and now... THE NEWS Vol. 3, No. 3 (yes, only No. 3)April 26, 1991 Doug returns from Hungary On March 21, ... read more

Fish Stories Best when lightly buttered, with just a pinch of lemon. Vol. 6 No. 4June 28, 1994 Tiffany wins awardsTiffany and her horse, Rocky, of Tracy, CA, competed in a local horse show a couple of months ago. See how current this new ... read more

The Holmes Family Newsletter Vol. 1, No. 5, September 5, 1989 Jeannie breaks elbow Placed on Disabled ListLathrop -- While attempting a sling-shot maneuver during a roller derby match last month with teammates Tiffany and Thomas, Jeanni ... read more

Old stuff, but some of it's still funny ... It's basically the precursor to this website. Click the links in the table of contents, above. Otherwise, just do a search in the home page's search b ... read more

The Holmes Family Newsletter Vol. 1, No. 10 -- Worldwide Circulation -- December 6, 1989 Newsletter sold! The Holmes Family Newsletter was involved in a hostile takeover. A group of Japanese investors have taken control of the Ne ... read more

The Leaky FaucetIrritating, yet soothing. Obnoxious, yet hypnoticVol. 3, No. 6, July 30, 1991Sapphire dispute settled out of co ... read more