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People are constantly trying to use you to help them create the particular illusions by which they live. This is particularly true of the collective illusions which sometimes are accepted as ideologies. You must renounce and sacrifice the ... read more

He: Can I buy you a drink?She: Actually I'd rather have the money. He: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours. She: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours. He: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? ... read more

Publishers and writing gurus preach that writers need followers. The problem is that emotionally-stable people don't want followers. They want friends, compatriots, people who listen, not followers. Especially zombie followers. They'r ... read more

Subject: Why can't I own a Canadian? Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination accord ... read more

It's SELF-published, but still ... It's called Lottery President. Hopefully, it's at least slightly entertaining. Tell a friend! ... read more

We'll be leaving in a few minutes for our last visit to the orphanage this trip. I'm practicing asking for my baggage back from the hotel baggage room. Baggage actually sounds like boggage. Please is pa-ZHAL-sta. Fascinating, I know ... read more

Sounds like a movie title. Anyway, it's Thursday morning. ... read more

I lost a couple of uncles this year. Here are their obituaries: ... read more

Music by a brotherConanOur cat Conan died of a kidney infection today (we had to have him put down). We had him 1 ... read more

Part 1, ... read more

... maybe less! That cheers me up. That's assuming everything goes as planned ... and it WILL. I believe in positive thinking (when I'm desperate, anyway, because it leads to positive actions, which lead to positive results, or at least ... read more

By B. N. Frank Even though more schools worldwide are banning kids use of personal cell phones (see 1, 2, 3) that may not be enough... Teens Using Smartphones 4 Hours/Day at Risk for Psychiatric, Sleep, Musculoskeletal, and Eye Problems, ... read more

Fabric softener sheets are one of the most unnecessary dangerous chemicals that you may be using in your home, and it's important that you stop. We have been gravely misinformed and maybe we believe there are some kind of standards set b ... read more

I finally watched this Food Matters movie last night. It was great. MD's and pharmaceutical execs will hate it, of course. Anyway, I highly recommend it. ... read more

So, literally, for the sake of human survival, please stop using at least this one pesticide by Bayer!A new study published in Naturwissenschaften -- The Science of Nature by a leading bee expert provides damning evidence that a widely-use ... read more

I was having a hard time converting a digital photo down to the correct 2x2 physical size. Then I found this article: take your own passport photos. At first, I was thinking Tell ... read more

The Holmes Family Newsletter Vol. 1, No. 6a, September 17, 1989Everyone seems to be on a diet these days. Lucy and Jeannie are trying a low carbohydrate/high protein diet. Don's trying good old reliable starvation. Eleanor is on the Nu ... read more

The Holmes Family Newsletter Vol. 1, No. 4, August 1, 1989 Largest Tri-Weekly Newsletter Circulation in the West! tri-weekly (tri-week'lee) 1. we TRY to get it out weekly) Editor's Note: This will probably be the last issue. See article ... read more

The Barking Dog Vol. 4 No. 6, July 22, 1992 Who names these newsletters, anyway? earthquakes, earthquakes! We're sick of earthquakes! Why doesn't the government do something!? On June 2 ... read more

The Obtuse Moose Vol. 6, No. 3, April 21, 1994 Jeannie finds dog Jeannie and John have a ranch in Tracy, California. To help pay the bills, they board a few horses. One of those horses, a fat old gray Arabian mare, had been particularly ... read more

HARD COPY Vol. 2, No. 1 Hard-Hitting JournalismJanuary 3, 1990 formerly known as The Holmes Family Newsletter Predictions for 1990 Elvis Presley will still be dead. Vice-President Quayle will be kicked out of offi ... read more

The Holmes Family Newsletter Vol. 2, No. 8 Anniversary IssueMay 25, 1990Editor's Note: This is the big one! The big enchilada. The killer tomato. It's the anniversary issue! (Aren't you excited?) It was one year ago today that a yo ... read more