My latest short story, based on our real life pugs Daisy, Chandler and Joey, the latter of whom is the only one still alive and barking. See /dp/B085XM6QW8The Lazy Pug Cafe was a dilapidated o ... read more
I know they're just doing their jobs, but headhunters (job recruiters) can be some of the most dehumanizing people I've ever had to deal with. Because of that, I like to have a little fun at their expense whenever possible. Here's a recen ... read more
Our trip was great. Here's a very short story. We left on 8/11 from my work. My boss made me attend a meeting that day which ended at 2:30, whereupon I joined June, Brian and Andy who were in our van, waiting in the parking lot. Boy, did ... read more
For most people, winning $300 million in the lottery would be enough. They would retire, buy a big house and travel the world. Not Benny. He took the money and ran... for president. The house he had in mind was the White House. He didn't want to travel the world so much as save it from politicians. Retire? "I'll retire when I'm dead!" he said, not knowing so many people had that exact retirement plan in mind for him.
first few lines
Benny sat alone by the door in a recently opened Asian restaurant. The laminated menu offered Mongolian, Chinese and Japanese dishes, with each written in its native language. He had to flip it over for the English version on the back.
He was taking his therapist's advice, "throwing caution to the wind" and "letting the chips fall where they may." A sex therapist branching out to grief counseling, she was all about the clichés.
The purpose of communist propaganda was not to persuade or convince, not to inform, but to humiliate and therefore, the less it corresponded to reality the better. When people are forced to remain silent when they are being told the most o ... read more
I am so excited! Sounds sumptuous!Received this email the other day from Iris Holets at mrtito88. . I'm sure that is an actual person and address. People don't lie about these things, but I'm concerned. They're asking homemakers to be ... read more
Another random spammer sent me this, but it was interesting, so I cleaned it up and published it. Dubai is set to add another towering figure to its skyline. The Aeternitas Tower, officially unveiled at a launch event last week, will be t ... read more
I slept on the floor most of last night. It's a little after 7 a. m. here. Elizabeth refuses to sleep in her crib, even though we're told that's what she slept in at the orphanage. So, she sleeps with us in our bed. That bed is barely ... read more
We'll be leaving in a few minutes for our last visit to the orphanage this trip. I'm practicing asking for my baggage back from the hotel baggage room. Baggage actually sounds like boggage. Please is pa-ZHAL-sta. Fascinating, I know ... read more
I'm just writing this post to get something new on the blog other than that free ad for Windows 7. :)We drove up to be with my wife's side of the family today for Father's Day. An extra special treat upon returning home was to discover ... read more
We leave in an hour for Court. I just got back from breakfast. Tara did not join me because she can't eat, she's so nervous. Gotta go get dressed. Wish us luck! ... read more
We fly out today. It would've been nice to have gotten one last good night's sleep, but the cat made sure that didn't happen. Stupid cat. Anyone want one? Seriously. She's very pretty and sweet when she's not keeping you from sleeping. ... read more
Some random spammer (TommieSkask) sent me this, but it was interesting. Probably written by AI, but I cleaned it up and am publishing it. See below. Packing for a multi-day upland bike journey demands detailed planning and deliberation ... read more
Preikestolen is one of Rogaland county, Norway's most visited attractions, and one of the country's most spectacular photo subjects. It has been named one of the world's most spectacular viewing points by both CNN Go and Lonely Planet. I ... read more
Well, I tried to mow the lawn, but the lawnmower wouldn't start. I swear. :) It's probably all clogged up from sitting there unused all winter. It was a hand-me-down mower, anyway, probably in need of replacing, but that's just not in th ... read more
I got a call today about a job with American Income. They said they found my r233sum233 on Careerbuilder. When I get emails like that, I instantly recognize them and mark them as spam and block them from sending any more. But getting a p ... read more
Yee-Haw The only newsletter we do!Vol. 6, No. 7, December 29, 1994Belinda Has Puppies!Another one of Lucy's dogs has gone and had a litter of pups. This time the mother is Belinda, a Rottweiler, and she gave birth to a litter ... read more
The Wandering Eye Vol. 7 No. 1, March 19, 1995We're back! Sorry it took so long between issues, but the entire staff was frozen solid in a block of ice the past three months. We just now thawed out. You know how it is. We should have k ... read more
The Holmes Family Newsletter Vol. 1, No. 10 -- Worldwide Circulation -- December 6, 1989 Newsletter sold! The Holmes Family Newsletter was involved in a hostile takeover. A group of Japanese investors have taken control of the Ne ... read more
the NEWSLETTER Vol. 3, No. 2 February 10, 1991 It's a girl... and a boy and a girl and a boy... Chance, a dog, has given birth to seven little dogs. Three boys and four girls! Hasn't she ever heard of birth control? The puppies ... read more
The Holmes Family Newsletter Vol. 1, No. 8, October 23, 1989 earthquake! Where were you when it hit?Don was just leaving his office on the 15th floor in downtown San Francisco when the whole building started to shake. I survived, said ... read more
A Face in the CrowdVol. 5, No. 3, May 25, 1993Eleanor Gets LicenseAfter taking the DMV driving test every year since the age of 16, Eleanor has finally passed and been given her drivers license!It just goes to show that perseverance pays ... read more