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Acknowledging Receipt of Australopithicus Spiff-arinoThe story behind the letter below is that there is a man in Newport, RI named Scott Williams who digs things out of his backyard and sends the stuff he finds to the Smithsonian Institutio ... read more

Look, buddy, I get it. You have a Ferrari and 'wanna go fast' like Ricky Bobby but maybe central fcking London isn't the place for you. Phone doctors at 7. 59 a. m. : 'surgery is closed. ' Phone doctors at 8. 00 'You are number 8 in the ... read more

Or, what I'd want on my MP3 player if stuck on a deserted island (with rechargeable batteries and a ... read more

I love this. And on the 9th day God looked down on his children and said they need a companion, so God Made A Dog. Paul Harvey-style tribute to dogs. Read, listen or watch the ... read more

Driving wife's Jetta while my car gets serviced. I called it a piece of $h! while I tried to climb out. Its door hit me in the forehead during the struggle. So, I guess we're even. ... read more

Our last stop before the airport on the magical mystery tour is the US Emb ... read more

That's how long before we leave Astrakhan for Moscow. Not that we're counting or anything. The bad thing about these in-country flights is that they don't use jetways, those expandable tubes that protect you from the weather as you get ... read more

Engaged... finally!Tara and I are finally getting married. We've felt married, but now we're making it official, just for the sake of making it official. :) The actual wedding will be August 22, which we've always celebrated as our ann ... read more

... in the freezing cold, we were THAT bored. I'm starting to hate this place. There's just nothing to do when we're n ... read more

Translation: We'll be there soon. This time next week, actually. I really want to be able to communicate with our daughter Elizabeth when we get there. I've been playing ... read more

Around the house ... read more

Good to know. from 10 Ways to Survive Skyrocketing Food PricesFood prices are getting out of control. As meats, ... read more

I think Kroger has a policy of periodically moving everything around in order to stimulate our hunter-gatherer instinct, never knowing which aisle our next meal is in. ... read more

Roving reporter returns from East (September, 1989) -- Bill returned from his trip to eastern Canada a few weeks back. He was supposed to seek out and capture Wild Man Doug. Remember? Well, he's back. Bill, that is. When asked to repo ... read more

Don't you hate it when you tell the self-checkout register that you want cash back. Then by the time you're finished, because the $!? machine has screwed up so many times, you've forgotten all about the cash? Yep, if you want to get rich j ... read more

Just past Jackson, Tennessee, after getting onto 412, a trucker had some fun at my expense. I had just passed him and am 99% sure I hadn't merged back in front of him too close. Drivers around here are offended easily. He then came up ... read more

Fish Stories Best when lightly buttered, with just a pinch of lemon. Vol. 6 No. 4June 28, 1994 Tiffany wins awardsTiffany and her horse, Rocky, of Tracy, CA, competed in a local horse show a couple of months ago. See how current this new ... read more

A Face in the CrowdVol. 5, No. 3, May 25, 1993Eleanor Gets LicenseAfter taking the DMV driving test every year since the age of 16, Eleanor has finally passed and been given her drivers license!It just goes to show that perseverance pays ... read more

Things You Need To Know Vol. 2, No. 10, July 16, 1990 Pioneer Portuguese now availableWorld famous Portuguese historian Lionel Holmes's latest work is now available at a store near you. Don't be surprised if they're sold out. Sales ... read more

Once in a Blue MoonVol. 8 No. 1, February 1997A lot has happened since our last newsletter, so let's just jump right in with the news... Mike and Evelyn get married Almost two years ago now (June 21, 1995, actually), Mike married his l ... read more

The Holmes Family Newsletter Vol. 1, No. 7, October 5, 1989Let's face it, these things are going to just keep coming. Steve arrested Steve received his first-ever speeding ticket recently. Of course, this is the first car he's ever had ... read more

The Holmes Family Newsletter Vol. 1, No. 8, October 23, 1989 earthquake! Where were you when it hit?Don was just leaving his office on the 15th floor in downtown San Francisco when the whole building started to shake. I survived, said ... read more