British Problems

by bill - 2019-07-24 21:24:54 ( in culture, humor) [php version] rebuild

"Look, buddy, I get it. You have a Ferrari and 'wanna go fast' like Ricky Bobby but maybe central f*cking London isn't the place for you."

"Phone doctors at 7.59 a.m.: 'surgery is closed.' Phone doctors at 8.00 'You are number 8 in the queue.'"

"You can work with people who bitch, back-stab, lie, who are lazy or grossly incompetent -- but if you lose your temper and swear at them, you're the bad guy. Offices need more swearing and less sh*t-stirring."

"To the guy stupidly revving his 25cc bike every time he goes past: You're NOT cool. NOBODY thinks you're clever. You're the very antithesis of both, and in my Britain you'd be hanging by your ankles in London Tower in a room full of revving scooter engines."

"Always saying please and thank you to Siri, Alexa etc. Because if there's a robot uprising, I feel a track record of politeness towards machines will be vital."

"'Are you going out Friday after work with us all?'... 'mate, I'll be out that door faster than a bat out of hell, running like Forest Gump to get away from you all, not stopping until I get home and can forget about work. So no.'"

"The deep sense of loss when you go to drink the last sip of tea, and realise you've already had it."

From reddit.

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