Below is everything (newest at top) with "life OR health OR covid OR humor" in its title or subcategories. For a strict listing (matching all categories and subcats), click hereADOPT A BOOMERfrom 2026 in ( culture / humor / politics )
An independent journalist named Shannon Joy talks to Jeff Berwick about her idea to adopt a boomer. It's pretty funny but also serious. She mentions the Donald Trump cult which is at a whole other level, especially with boomers. She's located in the Finger Lakes area of upstate New York. Watch at 1.25 or 1.5 speed without any problems. ... read more MUNDANE-IN-CHAOS: WHY TRIVIALITY WINS BIG LAUGHSfrom 2025 in ( culture / writing / humor / advice )
Prompted and edited by Bill. How a can of Cheez Whiz became comedy geniusand how to use that rhythm in your own writing. The Blues Brothers' Cheez Whiz Masterclass In The Blues Brothers, after a madness-fueled chase, the old man calmly asks, 'Did you remember to get my Cheez Whiz?' It's perfect. The scene is all adrenalinesir... read more SPAM: I AM WRITING TO YOU TODAY UNDER CIRCUMSTANCES OF EXTREME URGENCYfrom 2025 in ( culture / humor / internet / spam )
It's been a while since I've received a funny enough spam/junk email, but here it is: Dear Contact Us, I am writing to you today under circumstances of extreme urgency. My name is Dennis somebody, a resident of Hurlock, Maryland, and I am formally requesting an emergency loan in the amount of $800,000. This substantial loan is critically ... read more SATIRE: BROTHER STEVE MISSINGfrom 2025 in ( family / holmes / humor )
SACRAMENTO, Calif. -- My brother Steve went missing. Our brother Doug sounded the alarm via email after not hearing from him for several days. I assumed that knock on the door and brief struggle that Steve's wife was afraid of had finally happened, and he was now being held at a black site in Lodi. Trust me, you never want to stop in Lodi.... read more HAPPY PI DAYfrom 2025 in ( culture / humor / holidays )
Of course, in Europe, Pi Day is 31-Apr, which never comes, so it's not such a big deal. Pi Day PiDay.org Wikipedia Pi Day Reminds me of a meme I saw where Trump was signing an executive order to Make February Great Again by adding three more days to the month. ... read more MOVING TO MISSOURIfrom 2024 in ( family / holmes / doug / humor )
The adventure begins. A quiet, unassuming young man and his devoted wife and kids set out for parts unknown, unless you count Missouri as known. Not knowing what tomorrow may bring, they laugh in the face of uncertainty. Collectively, they raise their fists and shout, Providence, what hast thou in store?! The people at the neighboring rest stop ... read more CAT FLU VIRUSfrom 2024 in ( culture / humor / covid )
Watch on Bitchute Holy sh-t. If you have cats, watch out for this one. The Simpsons reported it years ago. Watch the last couple minutes of this video. Maybe you have seen it before. Hilarious. On Wednesday, May 29, 2024 at 06:53:30 PM PDT, someone wrote: The real 'Disease X' is what got Biden selected without protests of election fraud.... read more HILARIOUS NEW PARODY SONGfrom 2024 in ( culture / humor / politics / music )
Watch the entire video, not just the preview, here I posted it in lots of FB forums and didn't get automatic rejection It's being frantically censored. See if you can guess why. On Monday, May 20, 2024 at 05:01:05 PM PDT:... read more DOG GROOMINGfrom 2024 in ( family / pets / grooming / humor )
Someone asked, Do you guys do the grooming at your place only, or do you come to the dog's home? We don't do dog grooming or any other real world service. It's just a family/friends website. Thanks for visiting! Bill... read more ANOTHER NIGHT WALKING THE DOGfrom 2023 in ( culture / humor / blog / animals )
It was just another night out walking our Boston terrier, Cleo. Or so I thought. I put my boots on instead of the usual sneakers because of the recent rain. I like to keep both pairs tied but loose enough to slip on. Still, I have to wedge them on, using my fingers as a shoehorn. I should probably just buy an actual shoehorn... or a pair of these I... read more PUGS DRIVING CARSfrom 2023 in ( culture / humor / pets / dogs )I stumbled upon these new photos and couldn't resist writing this. They were such GREAT dogs. First, it was Joey. Then Chandler said, Me too, Dad! Daisy, though, always the sensible one, said, Those boys are crazy! and she stayed home to play with her favorite toy, Lambie, as any sensible dog would do. ... read more ABBOTT AND COSTELLO BUY A COMPUTERfrom 2023 in ( culture / humor / jokes / computers )
This is an old joke, so some of the program names might not be familiar.If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their famous sketch Who's on First? might have turned out something like this:COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTTABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in ... read more WAYS TO TURN DOWN UNWANTED MENfrom 2023 in ( culture / humor / jokes / men-women )
He: Can I buy you a drink?She: Actually I'd rather have the money.He: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.She: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.He: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?She: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.He: How did... read more GET OUT OF THE CARfrom 2022 in ( culture / humor )
...because this had me in tears, laughing. I guess it's a true story.Click on the image to the right.... read more PEOPLE WHO STILL SUPPORT BIDEN BE LIKEfrom 2022 in ( culture / humor / politics )
Sent: Wednesday, June 22, 2022 6:27 AM What We DON'T Want You To Know! - News Update Awaken with JP For my next video I confront a loyal Uncle Joe supporter to discuss gas prices, food shortages, and inflation -- all the while a big, black goat gets a bit overly friendly. Don't worry, no animals were harmed while making this video. (Though ... read more ELON MUSK FLOODED WITH REQUESTS TO BUY FACEBOOK, LINKEDIN AND YOUTUBE TO RETURN FREE SPEECH TO THOSE PLATFORMSfrom 2022 in ( culture / humor / internet / social )
If you came here looking for an actual article, you'll be disappointed. The title has more words than the article, or did until I wrote this sentence. This is a joke, though I wouldn't be surprised to hear this is actually happening. Elon never calls just to chat anymore, though, so I don't know.... read more YOU HAVE A DONATION FROM CLAY TOUSEYfrom 2022 in ( culture / humor / internet / spam )
They try hard on this one to look legitimate, but the fact remains that nobody shares their money with strangers unless it's a charity.This notification memo has been sent to you three times without a response from you and this will be the last time and I do hope you receive it. I am Clay Tousey am 69, I live at Ponte Vedra Beach.June 5th 2021 ... read more PORTFOLIO MANAGER FROM STOCKHOLM, SWEDENfrom 2022 in ( culture / humor / internet / spam )My name is doesn't matter, a portfolio manager from Stockholm, Sweden and a custodian of the Late David Holmes certificate of deposit (CD) valued fortune. here we go I sent you an initial email without a reply, Just curious if you received the email I sent ... on a matter concerning the death of David, your relative. a very common firstnam... read more HAPPY 2/22/22 TUESDAYfrom 2022 in ( culture / humor / calendar )
A day like today has GOT to be special! Make it a good one!... read more WELL SAIDfrom 2021 in ( life / health / covid / humor )
OMICRON... If you shuffle the letters, it spells MORONIC. -- from Sara Victoria, @SaraVic333: https://twitter.com/SaraVic333/status/1464506749898006533... read more WHITE HOUSE, CDC AND W.H.O. ARE HEREBY BANNEDfrom 2021 in ( culture / humor / covid / politics )
In accordance with the White House's wishes, we are banning all misinformation from the worst offenders (the White House, CDC and WHO) from this website/platform. They have lost all credibility. I guess we should add justthenews.com&utmmediumfeed&external-news-aggregatorsFacebook, Twitter and YouTube to that list. Thank you for the suggest... read more A NOVEL LOCATION OF PACK WORKER, ETCfrom 2021 in ( culture / humor / internet / spam )Spam number 1Salute,A novel location of Pack Worker of our package association was unblocked. Our business offers a vast fee and training bundle to make you as a teammate of our team's expanding 'n' favorably influential fellowship.We unearthed yours data by means of the CareerBuilder online space and think that thine attainments possib... read more THE DELTA VARIANTfrom 2021 in ( culture / humor / covid )
Remember back in 2020 when the entire world got an early April Fools joke with health officials giving the seasonal flu a new name, covid-19? And then those silly boys and girls in media began their fear and panic campaign? Almost everyone fell for it! Yeah, good times. Well, our wacky misleaders have done it again and renamed hay fever... wait for... read more VACANCIES AVAILABLEfrom 2021 in ( culture / humor / internet / spam )
A global leader with a yahoo address? I don't think so. Supposedly from Kayla Smith but address is iran.retailer? And it was not sent to me but to bonabsad@. Starting to look like randomly-generated AI names, don't you think?Our company, a global leader in the acquisition of specialty financial services and machinery has opening for the ... read more A DILEMMA WE ALL NOW FACEfrom 2021 in ( culture / humor / covid / vaccines )
With all of these offers of free stuff coming out of Corporate America to encourage everyone to get this unnecessary (for 99% of us) and unwise covid vaccination, it presents us all with a dilemma: A free order of fries (or joint here and here) versus the possible adverse effects of this medical experiment. Tough call!See also This Vaccine... read more BUSINESS PROPOSAL, FILE NO 180/86from 2021 in ( culture / humor / internet / spam )
Ah, yes, the good ol' Nigerian prince (with a Hungarian email address, for some reason) scam, just looking for somewhere to park my money! First of all, their numbering system is messed up. File number 180 out of 86? Anyway...Federal Ministry of Agriculture and Natural Resources. Federal capital territory Office. Dear FriendIt is with trust a... read more ELECTRIC BICYCLE SUPPLIER FROM CHINAfrom 2021 in ( culture / humor / internet / spam )How did they know we sell bicycles!? It's not mentioned anywhere on the site. Sure, we can sell you a bike by creating a link to a local bike shop and let them do the rest, if you want? Anyway, here's the latest very important random email:Hi There,Good day!This is natalie from China, Yes, Natalie is a very common name in China I find tha... read more HACKERS HAVE ACCESS TO YOUR DEVICEfrom 2021 in ( culture / humor / internet / spam )One of our favorite scams! Our comments are interspersed in brackets and look like this.Hello there. Let me introduce myself first -- Seems very polite! I am a professional programmer, who specializes in hacking during my free time. as most of us doThis time you were unlucky to become my next victim and I have just hacked the Operating System... read more THE LATEST CREATIVE SAFETY SHOESfrom 2021 in ( culture / humor / internet / spam )I'm starting to think this 163.com domain is not legit!Dear Sir,Lucky day to you! We ARE feeling lucky now that we've received this email!We are a professional shoes manufacturer, focused on this area for 10 years. We service a good quality shoes with best price and fashionable designs and timely delivery to the customer. If you want to k... read more SUMPTUOUS OPPORTUNITY IS PROMPTLY UNCOVEREDfrom 2021 in ( culture / humor / internet / spam )I am so excited! Sounds sumptuous!Received this email the other day from Iris Holets at mrtito88.. I'm sure that is an actual person and address. People don't lie about these things, but I'm concerned. They're asking homemakers to be package managers. What exactly does that mean? In-home prostitution? Middleman for drugs and exp... read more NO SERVICEfrom 2021 in ( culture / humor / phones )
No Service. That's what my phone said when I arrived at the restaurant to pick up my teenage daughter. I couldn't text her to say I'd arrived. I would have to do the unthinkable: Get out of the car, physically walk in, and risk human interaction. Worst of all, one of her co-workers might see me! The horror! The shame! I had no choice.... read more ON THE SUBJECT OF BIDETSfrom 2020 in ( culture / humor / home-garden )
Hilarious conversation I came across on thegatewaypundit.com in the comment section of an article...No toilet paper for you!I have a bidet. Best investment eva!How do you dry your crack?It has a built in blow (heated) dryer.Holy moly! I'm slumming it with my basic bidet!And a heated seat... I know I'm rubbing it in.... read more ORDERING A PIZZA IN THE NEAR FUTURE (LIKE, MAYBE NEXT MONTH)from 2020 in ( culture / humor / movies-tv-video )
A man learns how tough it is to order a pizza in the not-too-distant future.: How to order a Pizza in the FutureUPDATE: Even better, here's the original from 2006: Ordering Pizza in the Future... read more NORWEGIAN OFFICIAL APOLOGIZES FOR MAKING 2020 AN HOUR LONGERfrom 2020 in ( culture / humor )
Oct. 21 (UPI) -- The Norwegian official responsible for Daylight Saving Time in the country apologized for adding an additional hour to what has already been a very demanding year....: upi.com/OddNews... read more WATCHDEEPFAKE DONALD TRUMP ON HIS FIRST DAY WORKING AT RTfrom 2020 in ( culture / movies-tv-video / humor )
Making news not faking news: Watch Deepfake Donald Trump on his first day working at RT...: rt.com/news/501369-donald-trump-rt-deep-fake/... read more EMISSIONS TESTfrom 2020 in ( culture / humor / transportation / auto )A mostly one-way text conversation (click image(s) below) I had with my wife yesterday while she worked and I tried to get her car emissions-tested. I was laughing at my own situation after a while, wondering what could possibly go wrong next. I never did get it tested because I really did have to leave and get gas. The day was not all bad, though.... read more MANGLED ENGLISHfrom 2020 in ( culture / humor / language / english )
This is pretty new, from the new newsletter in 1992, when the Soviet Union still existed, but it's still funnyHow English is Being Used in Different Parts of the WorldIN A TOKYO HOTEL: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing please not to read notis.IN A BUCHAREST HOTEL LOBBY: The lift is being fixed fo... read more BANDANNA FASHIONfrom 2020 in ( culture / humor / covid / fashion )
Nobody bats an eye now when I walk into a bank or store with a bandanna wrapped across my face. Of course, the gun is still a sure giveaway.... read more NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE WARNS OF FALLING IGUANAS ON COLD NIGHT IN MIAMIfrom 2020 in ( life / animals / wildlife / humor )
The National Weather Service on Tuesday warned people in South Florida of the possibility of falling iguanas in advance of cold weather. 'This isn't something we usually forecast, but don't be surprised if you see iguanas falling from the trees tonight as lows drop into the 30s and 40s,' the Miami National Weather Service office wr... read more DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ALPACAS AND LLAMASfrom 2019 in ( life / animals / wildlife / humor )
In case you were wondering, as I was... Click the image for a larger version See also, llama vs. alpacaAnd don't miss Tennessee Safari Park, which includes pictures of a llama and alpaca.... read more RESTROOM DIFFICULTYfrom 2019 in ( culture / humor / employment )
Don't you hate it when you're at work?The end.Wait, no, that's not the end. You're at work -- on the bottom floor, because that's where the snack machine is -- and you decide to use the restroom. The cleaning lady is in there, with her cart blocking the door. So, you take the stairs back to your floor, the sixth, because you hav... read more THE RAINBOW ENDS IN SACRAMENTOfrom 2019 in ( culture / photography / humor / sports )
The rainbow really does end in Sacramento! My nephew Milan has captured proof. :) This was taken at their minor league team, Sacramento Rivercats, stadium where Milan works. Speaking of Sacramento, here's a list of famous people from there (because we know you were wondering):William Arthur Holmes (not famous, actually)Chris Hayes (co-writer wi... read more COUPLE OF GOOD ONESfrom 2018 in ( culture / humor / jokes )
OK, three good ones.... read more TAKING THE STAIRSfrom 2018 in ( culture / humor )
Don't you hate it when you're taking the stairs, looking down because it's a struggle, you think you've reached your floor only to look up and see you've got two more to go? Working on the third floor is rough!... read more ON THE PHONE WITH NASAfrom 2017 in ( life / money / employment / humor )
Got off the phone with @NASA. Had to tell 'em, Look, I'm not willing to relocate. Stop calling! OK, so it wasn't actually NASA, I didn't say exactly that, and it wasn't actually a job offer. A recruiter did call about an opportunity there, though. I'm not a COMPLETE liar.... read more CATS DISRESPECTING PUGSfrom 2017 in ( culture / humor / animals / pets )
So, I'm lying on the bed with the pug Joey between my legs. No, that's not a figure of speech. I'm referring to an actual dog between my calves. Anyway, the cat (Sunny) comes up, thinks about jumping across my legs to the other side, then decides to just step on me, then step on Joey, to the other side of the bed. #CatsDisrespectingPug... read more LESSON ON TAXESfrom 2017 in ( culture / quotes / humor )
The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream. -- Bill Murray... read more INSULTS, A FREE SERVICEfrom 2017 in ( life / help / services / humor )
Get your insults here!This is a free service that we're only too happy to provide. And just because it's free doesn't mean it's not professionally done. Give us a call anytime, but the later the hour, the worse the insult!... read more WIFE'S JETTAfrom 2017 in ( culture / humor / maintenance / auto )
Driving wife's Jetta while my car gets serviced. I called it a piece of $h! while I tried to climb out. Its door hit me in the forehead during the struggle.So, I guess we're even.... read more IF A MAN SPEAKS IN THE FORESTfrom 2017 in ( culture / humor / jokes )
If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear it, is he still wrong?... read more ACTION FILMS ON NETFLIXfrom 2017 in ( culture / movies-tv-video / humor )
Almost half of all action films on Netflix have a variation of this description: He thought he was retired, but has to do One. Last. Job!... read more LOCAL PICK UPfrom 2017 in ( life / money / shopping / humor )
Just ordered a $10 item on eBay. They offered Local Pick Up in Las Vegas, Nevada versus delivering it. I live in Nashville. I need to decide if it's worth driving out there. Suggestions? ... read more FENCE GUYfrom 2016 in ( life / home-garden / humor )
So, the wife texts me saying, Fence guy quoted $35500 to do the fence. He's coming out Wednesday.This is a fence repair for a small backyard, not a new thousand acre fence.Me: How much?!Wife (paraphrasing): Oops, I left out the decimal point!... read more CAN YOU SAY AWKWARD?from 2015 in ( culture / humor / family )
So, I'm walking back from feeding the neighbor's dog while they're on vacation. I see my wife and daughter in the car up ahead, just about to turn onto our street. I'm looking at them. They're looking at me. They're still about a hundred yards away, so I'm actually not entirely sure. To be silly, I pretend to hide behind... read more ADDICTED TO CEREALfrom 2015 in ( culture / humor / food )
Bill: I think I'm addicted to cereal. Tara: Addicted? Bill: Yeah. I'm gonna hit the street looking for my latest fix. Tara: And by street you mean Aisle 3 at Kroger, right? Bill: Right.... read more PARENTS CODE OF ETHICSfrom 2014 in ( culture / humor / sports )
Signing my daughter up for softball, I had to laugh at this (stripped down) Parents Code of Ethics:I will encourage good sportsmanshipI will place the emotional and physical well-being of my child ahead of my personal desire to win.I will remember that the game is for the youth -- not adults.I guess they got sick of parents yelling and screaming an... read more THIS IS DEEPfrom 2013 in ( culture / humor / internet )
I just had to share this comment someone left here on FriendsNews.com. Read it, absorb it, digest it, lather, rinse and repeat it. Then let me know what the %$# it means! Here it is:I comprehend that is genuinely uninteresting and you're merely skipping to the next comment, nonetheless i basically preferred to toss a sizable several many than... read more LOST A FRIENDfrom 2013 in ( culture / humor / internet / social )
No, not that kind of lost (knock on wood).But, don't you hate it when you're walking along talking to someone, it's crowded, you hear a muffled scream but think nothing of it, only to realize several blocks down the street that your friend is no longer walking beside you? You've been talking to a homeless person for the past ten m... read more HOW TO KNOW IF YOUR CO-WORKER IS A THREAT TO NATIONAL SECURITYfrom 2013 in ( culture / humor / politics )
Essentially, pretend the Soviets won the Cold War and then conquered the United States -- that's how the government is operating.: How to know if your coworker is a threat to national security... read more HOUSE CLEANINGfrom 2013 in ( life / home-garden / chores / humor )
While doling out who would be doing what for today's house cleaning project, my wife Tara assigned the following to me: Strip and make the bed. Knowing me, she then felt the need to clarify. That means strip the bed. I'll just let that sink in for those who don't immediately get it.During the chores, she told Elizabeth she could take ... read more HOW HUBBARD AND RAND GOT THEIR IDEASfrom 2012 in ( culture / movies-tv-video / humor )
According to this video, this must be how it happened.Rand, in bed with Hubbard: We can take the most wealthy, privileged, powerful people and get them to talk like they're the poor, persecuted minority!Hubbard: That's almost too evil. ... read more SOLD ANOTHER BUMPER STICKERfrom 2010 in ( culture / humor )
Man, that's three this year. At a dollar apiece, I'm gonna be rich! :) UPDATE: That was at Zazzle, but now I recommend CafePress.... read more DOORMATS WITH A DIFFERENCEfrom 2010 in ( culture / humor / jokes )
A few doormats for your consideration...... read more MY FIRST BUMPER STICKER SALEfrom 2010 in ( culture / humor )
I just got an email saying I've made my first bumper sticker sale! They bought three, actually. At 33 cents commission per item, at this rate, one sale per year, I'll be rich in no time!UPDATE: That was at Zazzle, but now I recommend CafePress.... read more A DAY WITHOUT MY CARfrom 2009 in ( culture / humor / transportation / auto )
I'm just testing this Windows Live Writer software. UPDATE: There's now a newer, open-source version here. It was a dark and stormy night ... No, it was an unusually cold day ... yeah, that's it ... for the first week of December when I was forced to go without my beloved -- well, maybe not beloved, but much appreciated -- car. It... read more AN EMAIL EXCHANGEfrom 2001 in ( family / holmes / bill / humor )
Sent: Tuesday, February 06, 2001, 2:59 PMTara McKinneySubject: rescheduled againBetter not bring any boyfriends home tonight. I'll be here, after all. It's been rescheduled for tomorrow. Got a call from TekSystems-Huntsville. They've got a contract-to-perm job possibility. I told them that you would LOVE to relocate there! :)Her rep... read more |
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