curated news for friends & family ™ 
curated news for friends & family ™ 
Handymen women at their finest
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If you came here looking for an actual article, you'll be disappointed. The title has more words than the article, or did until I wrote this sentence. This is a joke, though I wouldn't be surprised to hear this is actually hap... read more
They try hard on this one to look legitimate, but the fact remains that nobody shares their money with strangers unless it's a charity.
This notification memo has been sent to you three times without a response from you and... read more
My name is doesn't matter, a portfolio manager from Stockholm, Sweden and a custodian of the Late David Holmes certificate of deposit (CD) valued fortune. here we go I sent you an initial email without a reply, Just curious... read more
A day like today has GOT to be special! Make it a good one!... read more
New theme song, sung to the tune of She'll Be Coming 'Round the Mountain.
Along with Let's Go Brandon, a new anthem Stick Your Vaccine Mandate Up Your A is making a buzz online. Many people around the world have su... read more
OMICRON... If you shuffle the letters, it spells MORONIC. -- from Sara Victoria, @SaraVic333
See twitter.com SaraVic333 status 1464506749898006533... read more
In accordance with the White House's wishes, we are banning all misinformation from the worst offenders (the White House, CDC and WHO) from this website platform. They have lost all credibility. I guess we should add Facebook, ... read more
Spam number 1
Salute,
A novel location of Pack Worker of our package association was unblocked. Our business offers a vast fee and training bundle to make you as a teammate of our team's expanding 'n' favorably inf... read more
Remember back in 2020 when the entire world got an early April Fools joke with health officials renaming the seasonal flu Covid-19? And then those silly boys and girls in media began their fear and panic campaign? Almost everyone ... read more
Salute,A fresh stance for Wrapping Headmaster for our logistics fellowship has just been commenced. Our partnership offers a very proper remuneration & instructional case They're leaning pretty heavily on that thesaurus, ... read more
A global leader with a yahoo address? I don't think so. Supposedly from Kayla Smith but address is iran.retailer? And it was not sent to me but to bonabsad@yahoo.com. Starting to look like randomly-generated "AI" names, don't... read more
Hilarious! This non-experimental experimental vaccine is truly a historic development, because apart from saving the world from a virus that causes mild to moderate flu-like symptoms (or, more commonly, no symptoms whatsoever) i... read more
With all of these offers of free stuff coming out of Corporate America to encourage everyone to get this unnecessary (for 99% of us) and unwise covid vaccination, it presents us all with a dilemma A free order of fries (or joint h... read more
Fauci and Gates today held a joint press conference to announce the following Arm That Got Jab Attracts Magnet OK, there was no press conference but, unless this woman's arm was already magnetic (or sticky), this is v... read more
Ah, yes, the good ol' Nigerian prince (with a Hungarian email address, for some reason) scam, "just looking for somewhere to park my money!" First of all, their numbering system is messed up. File number 180 out of 86? Anyway...... read more
How did they know we sell bicycles!? It's not mentioned anywhere on the site. Sure, we can sell you a bike by creating a link to a local bike shop and let them do the rest, if you want? Anyway, here's the latest very import... read more
One of our favorite scams! Our comments are interspersed in brackets and look like this.From aam726@abocol.comHello there. Let me introduce myself first - Seems very polite! I am a professional programmer, who specializes i... read more
I'm starting to think this 163.com domain is not legit!From salesshineo@163.comDear Sir,Lucky day to you! We ARE feeling lucky now that we've received this email! We are a professional shoes manufacturer, focuse... read more
Hi Sir ,We have been caring about your esteemed company for a long time. Awww!!! They've been 'caring about us!' Attached our star products. We sincerely hope can help with your business if any requirements. Produc... read more
I am so excited! Sounds sumptuous!Received this email the other day from Iris Holets at mrtito88.yahoo.com. I'm sure that is an actual person and address. People don't lie about these things, but I'm concerned. They&... read more
Creativity is not a talent. It is a way of operating. Nothing will stop you being creative so effectively as the fear of making a mistake. He who laughs most, learns best. ... read more
A goat and papaya test positive for covid ...because the PCR test is invalid as it is being used here, just like the test's inventor (now conveniently dead) said.... read more
I ain't much for shopping,Or for goin' into townExcept at cattle-shipping time,I ain't too easily found.But the day came when I had to go -I left the kids with Ma.But &#... read more
No Service. That's what my phone said when I arrived at the restaurant to pick up my teenage daughter. I couldn't text her to say I'd arrived. I would have to do the unthinkable Get out of the car, physically walk in, and... read more
Hilarious conversation I came across on thegatewaypundit.com in the comment section of an article...No toilet paper for you!I have a bidet. Best investment eva!How do you dry your crack?It has a built in blow (heate... read more
Look folks, there's an easy way around the government ban on having a traditional Thanksgiving feast with friends and family. Hold a protest against colonialist oppression instead! As we know, protests are exempt from the rule... read more
A man learns how tough it is to order a pizza in the not-too-distant future. How to order a Pizza in the Future UPDATE Even better, here's the original from 2006 Ordering Pizza in the Future... read more
Oct. 21 (UPI) -- The Norwegian official responsible for Daylight Saving Time in the country apologized for adding an additional hour to what "has already been a very demanding year."... Go to ... read more
Making news not faking news Watch Deepfake Donald Trump on his first day working at RT... rt.com news 501369-donald-trump-rt-deep-fake ... read more
Hilariously sad. See What It's Like Living in California Now We now have hundreds of thousands of so-called 'cases', 'infections' and 'positive tests' but hardly any sick people. Recall that fo... read more
An award should the gate agent in Denver for being smart and funny, while making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo. A crowded United Airlines flight was canceled. A single agent w... read more
New Los Angeles Driver's Exam For those not fortunate enough to live in Los Angeles, here is a copy of the Los Angeles Driver's Exam. For those of you who are, study real hard. This is a new exam. Since driving conditions (... read more
Five people who have a job worse than yours The San Francisco Zoo has an elephant named Calle who has a chronic illness requiring medication. The zoo people couldn't get Calle to take her dose orally, so a California pharmacist... read more
How do these people survive? Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. We don't have half dozen nuggets ,... read more
Some Thoughts On Life
Raising teenagers is like trying to nail Jell-O to a tree.
There is always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles ... read more
Somethin' to think about Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun. How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on. I have noticed that the peop... read more
Acknowledging Receipt of Australopithicus Spiff-arino The story behind the letter below is that there is a man in Newport, RI named Scott Williams who digs things out of his backyard and sends the stuff he finds to the Smithsoni... read more
Somethin' to think about Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a trip around the sun. How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on. I have noticed that the people who are late a... read more
Credit Card Bill In March 1992 a man living in Newtown near Boston, Massachusetts received a bill for his as yet unused credit card stating that he owed $0.00. He ignored it and threw it away.In April he received another and threw... read more
A Christmas Story One day, this past December, I was rushing around trying to get some last minute shopping done. I was stressed out and not thinking very fondly of the Christmas season right then. It was dark, cold, and wet in ... read more
No computer can do without this screen cleaner. Converted free by cloudconvert.com... read more
A mostly one-way text conversation (click image) I had with my wife yesterday while she worked and I tried to get her car emissions tested. I was laughing at my own situation after a while, wondering what could possibly go wrong n... read more
Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I'm cracking a ... read more
This is pretty old, from the old newsletter in 1992, when the Soviet Union still existed, but it's still funny How English is Being Used in Different Parts of the WorldIN A TOKYO HOTEL Is forbitten to steal hotel towels ple... read more
Nobody bats an eye now when I walk into a bank or store with a bandanna wrapped across my face. Of course, the gun is still a sure giveaway.... read more
WARNING Not necessarily for kids (or the squeamish).animals &n... read more
Some bad language, but funny. Get Into Farming... read more
A couple of good ones. onetwo... read more
Look, buddy, I get it. You have a Ferrari and 'wanna go fast' like Ricky Bobby but maybe central fcking London isn't the place for you. Phone doctors at 7.59 a.m. 'surgery is closed.' Phone doctors at 8.... read more
Don't you hate it when you're at work? The end. Wait, no, that's not the end. You're at work - on the bottom floor, because that's where the snack machine is - and you decide to use the restroom. The clean... read more
The rainbow really does end in Sacramento! My nephew Milan has captured proof. ) This was taken at their minor league team, Sacramento Rivercats, stadium where Milan works. Speaking of Sacramento, here's a list of famous peo... read more
OK, three good ones. and and, this just in, something to settle the argument... ... read more
Don't you hate it when you're taking the stairs, looking down because it's a struggle, you think you've reached your floor only to look up and see you've got two more to go? Working on the third floor is rough!... read more
Worrying must work, because almost everything I worry about ends up not happening!... read more
This is too funny not to share.
Almost every driver has been there - when parking in a large lot or garage, it can be easy to misplace a car.But while most drivers locate their cars after a frustrating few minutes, one G... read more
Got off the phone with @NASA. Had to tell 'em, Look, I'm not willing to relocate. Stop calling! OK, so it wasn't actually NASA, I didn't say exactly that, and it wasn't actually a job offer. A recruiter did call... read more
The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream. - Bill Murray... read more
Get your insults here! This is a free service that we're only too happy to provide. And just because it's free doesn't mean it's not professionally done. Give us a call anytime, but the later the hour, the worse the... read more
Driving wife's Jetta while my car gets serviced. I called it a piece of $h! while I tried to climb out. Its door hit me in the forehead during the struggle. So, I guess we're even.... read more
If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear it, is he still wrong? ... read more
Almost half of all action films on Netflix have a variation of this description: "He thought he was retired, but has to do "One. Last. Job!"... read more
Can you say "awkward?"So, I'm walking back from feeding the neighbor's dog while they're on vacation. I see my wife and daughter in the car up ahead, just about to turn onto our street. I'm looking at them. They're... read more
"I think I'm addicted to cereal," I said. "Addicted?" she asked. "Yeah, I'm gonna hit the street looking for my latest fix.""And by 'street,' you mean Aisle 3 at Kroger, right?""Don't question my street ... read more
Signing my daughter up for softball, I had to laugh at this (stripped down) Parents Code of Ethics I will encourage good sportsmanshipI will place the emotional and physical well-being of my child ahead of my personal desir... read more
I just had to share this comment someone left here on FriendsNews.com. Read it, absorb it, digest it, lather, rinse and repeat it. Then let me know what the %$# it means! Here it is I comprehend that is genuinely uninteresting... read more
No, not that kind of "lost" (knock on wood). But, don't you hate it when you're walking along talking to someone, it's crowded, you hear a muffled scream but think nothing of it, only to realize several blocks dow... read more
Essentially, pretend the Soviets won the Cold War and then conquered the United States - that's how the government is operating. How to know if your coworker is a threat to national security... read more
While doling out who would be doing what for today's house cleaning project, my wife Tara assigned the following to me: Strip and make the bed. Knowing me, she then felt the need to clarify. "That means strip the bed." I'... read more
Click on this link to clean the inside of your screen screenclean.gif... read more
I love this.
And on the 9th day God looked down on his children and said they need a companion, so God Made A Dog. Paul Harvey-style tribute to dogs.
So God made a dog... read more
According to this video, this must be how it happened.Rand, in bed with Hubbard We can take the most wealthy, privileged, powerful people and get them to talk like they're the poor, persecuted minority! Hubbard That's ... read more
Bureaucracy at its worst, legal argument at its best Part of rebuilding New Orleans caused residents often to be challenged with the task of tracing home titles back potentially hundreds of years.. With a community rich with his... read more
Montana State TrooperIn most of the United States there is a policy of checking on any stalled vehicle on the highway when temperatures drop to single digits or below. About 3 a.m. one very cold morning, Montana State Trooper Allan Ni... read more
All joke images... read more
I'm just testing this Windows Live Writer software. UPDATE: There's now a newer, "open-source" version here.... read more
Detroit PD should be ashamed! ) Here's the new link ... read more
A blonde walks by a travel agency and notices a sign in the window Cruise Special -- $99! She goes inside, lays her money on the counter and says, I'd like the $99 cruise special, please. The agent grabs her, drags ... read more
1972 Long hair; 2002 Longing for hair 1972 The perfect high; 2002 The perfect high yield mutual fund 1972 KEG; 2002 EKG 1972 Acid rock; 2002 Acid reflux 1972 Moving to California because it's cool; 2002 Mov... read more
I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it's going to be impossible to buy a week's groceries for $20. Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long before $2000... read more
Baseball An Irishman moves to the USA and finally attends his first baseball game. The first batter approached the batters box, took a few swings and then hit a double. Everyone was on their feet screaming Run, Run. The next batter... read more
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man smart woman romance
Smart man dumb woman affair
Dumb man smart woman marriage
Dumb man dumb woman pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss smart employee profit
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Every year, English teachers from across the USA can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the country. He... read more
All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture" and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: 1. On a Southwest flight 245 (SW has no ... read more
SPAGHETTI HARVEST - Bogus item on 1957 BBC news show Panorama. Viewers seeking advice on growing their own were told to put spaghetti sprig in tin of tomato sauce. SAN SERRIFFE - Guardian newspaper published seven-page su... read more
Andy Rooney on Monica. Can you believe it? Monica turned 28 this week. It seems like only yesterday that she was crawling round the White House on her hands and knees.... on Vegetarians. "Vegetarian" - that's an old Indian w... read more
Subject Why can't I own a Canadian?
Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abo... read more
Save the whales. Collect the whole set. A day without sunshine is like, night. On the other hand, you have different fingers. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. 99 percent of politicians give t... read more
Saturday morning I got up early, put on my long johns, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. Ther... read more
After months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking as it's the only type of cooking a real man w... read more
This equation should be taught in all math classes! From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more ... read more
After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, an... read more
Frequently Asked Questions About Healthcare Q What does HMO stand for?A This is actually a variation of the phrase, Hey, Moe! Its roots go back to a concept pioneered by Doctor Moe Howard, who discovered that a patient could be... read more
In a public restroom Toilet Out Of Order. Please Use Floor Below In a laundromat Automatic Washing Machines Please Remove All Your Clothes When The Light Goes ... read more
NOTATIONS ON HOSPITAL CHARTS Actual Sentences or notations Found In Patients' Hospital Charts 1. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night. 2. Patient has chest pa... read more
Blonde in a hailstorm
A blonde is driving home and she gets caught in a really bad hail storm.The hail is as big as tennis balls, and she ends up with her car covered with large dents. So the next day she takes her car to the repair ... read more
