( culture / humor / covid / politics ) In accordance with the White House's wishes, we are banning all misinformation from the worst offenders (the White House, CDC and WHO) from this website/platform. They have lost all credibility. I guess we should add Facebook, Twitter and YouTube to that list.Thank you for the suggestion, Joe.See ... read more
( culture / humor / satire ) U.S.—According to sources, several prominent leftists are expressing worry that Communism failing every time it's tried could be making Communism look bad. The Babylon Bee. ... ... read more
( culture / humor / satire ) PORTLAND, OR—During a conversation at work Monday, local woman Reighnye Leighton argued that the government should just mandate that everyone get vaccinated. She made this argument as she wore her favorite, well-worn "My Body, My Choice" T-shirt. ... ... read more
( culture / humor / satire ) HAVANA—One of America's richest socialists, Bernie Sanders, arrived in Havana today after learning there was an uprising against the Communist regime. While many have been voicing their support for the protesters fighting for freedom, Sanders instead tried to quell the... ... read more
( culture / humor / satire ) U.S.—Popular plumbing and bath products manufacturer Kohler Co. has introduced a new shower tap that gets the water hot enough to literally melt the flesh from your bones. Known as the "wife" setting, the shower gets up to 800 degrees Fahrenheit, enough to make men... ... read more
( culture / humor / satire ) NEW YORK, NY—While many pro-democracy pundits around the world have come out in favor of the Cuban protestors, The New York Times has slammed them for adopting the U.S. flag, a notorious symbol of hate. The Babylon Bee. ... ... read more
( culture / humor / satire ) CUBA—The Biden administration has finally released a statement on the uprising in Cuba. According to officials, the Cuban people are really, really, mad about Georgia's voter ID laws and have taken to the streets to protest it. The Babylon Bee.... ... read more
( culture / humor / satire ) ATLANTA, GA—According to sources, local blind woman Eyeleen Kahntsee has been reprimanded by her employer for repeatedly approaching minorities she works with and telling them to "check their privilege." The Babylon Bee. ... ... read more
( culture / humor / covid ) Remember back in 2020 when the entire world got an early April Fools joke where health officials renamed the seasonal flu as Covid-19? And then those silly boys and girls in media began their fear and panic campaign? Yeah, good times. Well, our wacky misleaders have done it again and renamed ha... read more
( culture / humor / internet / spam ) "Salute,A fresh stance for Wrapping Headmaster for our logistics fellowship has just been commenced. Our partnership offers a very proper remuneration & instructional case They're leaning pretty heavily on that thesaurus, aren't they? to establish ya'll as a worker of our management's improv... read more
( culture / humor / internet / spam ) A global leader with a yahoo address? I don't think so. Supposedly from Kayla Smith but address is iran.retailer? And it was not sent to me but to bonabsad@yahoo.com. Starting to look like randomly-generated AI names, don't you think?"Our company, a global leader in the acquisition of spe ... read more
( culture / humor / covid / vaccines ) Hilarious!"This non-experimental experimental vaccine is truly a historic development, because apart from saving the world from a virus that causes mild to moderate flu-like symptoms (or, more commonly, no symptoms whatsoever) in roughly 95% of those infected, and that over 99% of those infecte... read more
( culture / humor / covid / vaccines ) With all of these offers of free stuff coming out of Corporate America to encourage everyone to get this unnecessary (not to mention unwise) covid "vaccination," it presents us all with a dilemma: A free order of fries (or joint here and here, or whatever) versus the possible adverse effe... read more
( culture / humor / covid / vaccines ) Fauci and Gates today held a joint press conference to announce the following:Arm That Got Jab Attracts MagnetOK, there was no press conference but, unless this woman's arm was already magnetic (or sticky), this is very weird.... read more
( culture / humor / internet / spam ) Ah, yes, the good ol' Nigerian prince (with a Hungarian email address, for some reason) scam, just looking for somewhere to park my money! First of all, their numbering system is messed up. File number 180 out of 86? Anyway...Federal Ministry of Agriculture and Natural Resources. Federal capit... read more
( culture / humor / internet / spam ) One of our favorite scams! Our comments are interspersed in brackets and look like this.From: aam726@abocol.comHello there. Let me introduce myself first - Seems very polite! I am a professional programmer, who specializes in hacking during my free time. as most of us do This time you wer ... read more
( culture / humor / internet / spam ) I'm starting to think this 163.com domain is not legit!From: salesshineo@163.comDear Sir,Lucky day to you! We ARE feeling lucky now that we've received this email! We are a professional shoes manufacturer, focused on this area for 10 years. We service a good quality shoes with best price and fa ... read more
( culture / humor / internet / spam ) Hi Sir ,We have been caring about your esteemed company for a long time. Awww!!! They've been 'caring about us!' Attached our star products. We sincerely hope can help with your business if any requirements.Product NameMarigold extract Lutein/lutein ester/zeaxanthin 10%20%Gingkgo biloba Extrac ... read more
( culture / humor / internet / spam ) How did they know we sell bicycles!? It's not mentioned anywhere on the site. Sure, we can sell you a bike by creating a link to a local bike shop and let them do the rest, if you want? Anyway, here's the latest very important random email:From: ebikegroup@163.comHi There,Good day!This is natalie ... read more
( culture / humor / internet / spam ) I am so excited! Sounds sumptuous!Received this email the other day from Iris Holets at mrtito88.yahoo.com. I'm sure that is an actual person and address. People don't lie about these things, but I'm concerned. They're asking homemakers to be package managers. What exactly does that mean? ... read more
( culture / humor / quotes ) "Creativity is not a talent. It is a way of operating.""Nothing will stop you being creative so effectively as the fear of making a mistake.""He who laughs most, learns best."... read more
( life / health / covid / humor ) A goat and papaya test positive for covid...because the PCR test is invalid as it is being used here, just like the test's inventor (now conveniently dead) said.DISCLAIMER: We are not medical professionals but can comprehend the various articles linked on this site. Think for yourself. Make up your... read more
( culture / humor / covid / masks ) The covid crisis provides the opportunity for many people to signal their virtuousness to the world. You'll see them walking or driving down the street, alone, with a mask up over their nose. And of course, many businesses are more "covid conscious" than others, employing guards at the en... read more
( culture / humor / poetry ) I ain't much for shopping,Or for goin' into townExcept at cattle-shipping time,I ain't too easily found.But the day came when I had to go -I ... read more
( culture / humor / writing / blog ) No Service. That's what my phone said when I arrived at the restaurant to pick up my teenage daughter. I couldn't text her to say I'd arrived. I would have to do the unthinkable: Get out of the car, physically walk in, and risk human interaction. Worst of all, one of her co-workers might see me... read more
( culture / humor ) Hilarious conversation I came across on thegatewaypundit.com...No toilet paper for you!I have a bidet. Best investment eva!How do you dry your crack?It has a built in blow (heated) dryer.Holy moly! I'm slumming it with my basic bidet!And a heated seat... I know I'm rubbing it in.... read more
( culture / humor / covid / politics ) "Look folks, there's an easy way around the government ban on having a traditional Thanksgiving feast with friends and family. Hold a protest against colonialist oppression instead! As we know, protests are exempt from the rules, and are scientifically proven to pose lower risk of Covid sprea... read more
( culture / humor / movies-tv-video ) "A man learns how tough it is to order a pizza in the not too distant future."Go to How to order a Pizza in the FutureUPDATE: Even better, here's the original from 2006: Ordering Pizza in the Future... read more
( culture / humor ) The Norwegian official responsible for Daylight Saving Time in the country apologized for adding an additional hour to what has already been a very demanding...Go to upi.com/OddNews ... read more
( culture / movies-tv-video / humor ) Making news not faking news: Watch Deepfake Donald Trump on his first day working at RT...Go to rt.com/news/501369-donald-trump-rt-deep-fake/... read more
( culture / humor / covid ) Hilariously sad. See What It's Like Living in California Now "We now have hundreds of thousands of so-called 'cases', 'infections' and 'positive tests' but hardly any sick people. Recall that four fifths (80%) of 'infections' are asymptomatic (1) Covid wards have been by and large empty ... read more
( culture / humor / jokes / airlines ) An award should go to the gate agent in Denver for being smart and funny, while making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo. A crowded United Airlines flight was canceled. A single agent was ebooking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an ... read more
( culture / humor / jokes ) New Los Angeles Driver's ExamFor those not fortunate enough to live in Los Angeles, here is a copy of the Los Angeles Driver's Exam. For those of you who are, study real hard. This is a new exam. Since driving conditions (and culture) are unique in Los Angeles, you may not have realized that the Ca... read more
( culture / humor ) How do these people survive?Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets", said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. &quo... read more
( culture / humor / quotes ) Some Thoughts On LifeRaising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.There is always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.Reason to smile: Every seven minutes of every day, someone in an aerobic... read more
( culture / humor / quotes ) Somethin' to think aboutLiving on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them.If ignorance ... read more
( culture / humor ) Acknowledging Receipt of Australopithicus Spiff-arinoThe story behind the letter below is that there is a man in Newport, RI named Scott Williams who digs things out of his backyard and sends the stuff he finds to the Smithsonian Institution, labeling them with scientific names, insisting that they ... read more
( culture / humor / quotes ) Somethin' to think aboutLiving on Earth is expensive, but it does include a trip around the sun.How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them.If ignorance is bl... read more
( culture / humor ) Five people who have a job worse than yoursThe San Francisco Zoo has an elephant named Calle who has a chronic illness requiring medication. The zoo people couldn't get Calle to take her dose orally, so a California pharmacist developed a suppository. The 10-inch-long, four-pound, cocoa-butter bulle... read more
( culture / humor ) Credit Card Bill In March 1992 a man living in Newtown near Boston, Massachusetts received a bill for his as yet unused credit card stating that he owed $0.00. He ignored it and threw it away.In April he received another and threw that one away too. The following month the credit card company sent h ... read more
( culture / humor / jokes / christmas ) A Christmas StoryOne day, this past December, I was rushing around trying to get some last minute shopping done. I was stressed out and not thinking very fondly of the Christmas season right then. It was dark, cold, and wet in the parking lot as I was loading my car up with gifts I felt obligated to... read more
( culture / humor / transportation / auto ) A mostly one-way text conversation (click image) I had with my wife yesterday while she worked and I tried to get her car emissions tested. I was laughing at my own situation after a while, wondering what could possibly go wrong next. I never did get it tested because I really did have to leave a... read more
( culture / humor / covid ) Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe.Homeschooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teac... read more
( culture / humor / language / english ) This is pretty old, from the old newsletter in 1992, when the Soviet Union still existed, but it's still funnyHow English is Being Used in Different Parts of the WorldIN A TOKYO HOTEL: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing please not to read notis.IN A BUC... read more
( culture / humor / covid / fashion ) Nobody bats an eye now when I walk into a bank or store with a bandanna wrapped across my face. Of course, the gun is still a sure giveaway.... read more
( culture / humor / blog / bill ) MiscellaneousHad alarm set for 4:15a.m., but the trash collectors in the alley behind my hotel thought 3:30 would be better.At the airport, I was busted for trying to sneak contraband mouthwash and sweet tea through securityOK how are you supposed to cut a mango? No idea.How's this for a great quote... read more
( culture / humor ) via reddit. "Look, buddy, I get it. You have a Ferrari and 'wanna go fast' like Ricky Bobby but maybe central fcking London isn't the place for you.""Phone doctors at 7.59 a.m.: 'surgery is closed.' Phone doctors at 8.00 'You are number 8 in the queue.'""You can work with p... read more
( culture / humor / employment ) Don't you hate it when you're at work? The end. Wait, that's not the end. You're at work - on the bottom floor, because that's where the snack machine is - and you decide to use the restroom. The cleaning lady is in there, with her cart blocking the door. So, you take the stairs back to your floor, ... read more
( culture / photography / humor / sports ) The rainbow really does end in Sacramento! My nephew Milan has captured proof. :) This was taken at their minor league team, Sacramento Rivercats, stadium where Milan works.Speaking of Sacramento, here's a list of famous people from there (because we know you were wondering):William Arthur HolmesChr... read more
( culture / humor ) Don't you hate it when you're taking the stairs, looking down because it's a struggle, you think you've reached your floor only to look up and see you've got two more to go? Working on the third floor is rough!... read more
( culture / humor / blog / bill ) Walking from the parking lot into work this morning, on the sidewalk I saw what looked like a trail of blood. There was a big spot of it at the top of the sidewalk, and it dwindled as it continued downhill toward the front door. What the...? This building is out in the middle of formerly beautiful c... read more
( culture / humor / transportation / auto ) This is too funny not to share. See German man's car found 20 years after he lost it in parking garage. "Almost every driver has been there - when parking in a large lot or garage, it can be easy to misplace a car.But while most drivers locate their cars after a frustrating few minutes, one Ger... read more
( life / money / employment / humor ) Got off the phone with @NASA. Had to tell 'em, "Look, I'm not willing to relocate. Stop calling!" OK, so it wasn't actually NASA, I didn't say exactly that, and it wasn't actually a job offer. A recruiter did call about an opportunity there, though. I'm not a COMPLETE liar.... read more
( culture / quotes / humor ) "The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream." - Bill MurrayNEW! Random samples of dialogue from my novels!... read more
( life / help / services / humor ) Get your insults here!This is a free service that we're only too happy to provide. And just because it's free doesn't mean it's not professionally done. Give us a call anytime, but the later the hour, the worse the insult!... read more
( culture / humor / transportation / auto ) Driving wife's Jetta while my car gets serviced. I called it a piece of $h! while I tried to climb out. Its door hit me in the forehead during the struggle. So, I guess we're even.... read more
( culture / movies-tv-video / humor ) Almost half of all action films on Netflix have a variation of this description: "He thought he was retired, but has to do One. Last. Job!Affiliate marketing link belowTry Fubo streaming TV... read more
( culture / humor / blog / bill ) Me: I'm out of toothpaste! What are you gonna do about it? Wife (without missing a beat): Find a husband with toothpaste, I guess. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I married her. :) And that's why I'm at the store right now, buying toothpaste.... read more
( culture / humor / family ) Can you say awkward?So, I'm walking back from feeding the neighbor's dog while they're on vacation. I see my wife and daughter in the car up ahead, just about to turn onto our street. I'm looking at them. They're looking at me (or at least it feels like it). They're still about a hundred yards awa... read more
( culture / humor / food ) I think I'm addicted to cereal, I said.Addicted? she asked.Yeah, I'm gonna hit the street looking for my latest fix.And by 'street,' you mean Aisle 3 at Kroger, right?Don't question my street cred!... read more
( culture / humor / sports ) Signing my daughter up for softball, I just had to laugh at this (stripped down) Parents Code of Ethics:I will encourage good sportsmanshipI will place the emotional and physical well-being of my child ahead of my personal desire to win.I will remember that the game is for the youth - not adults.I g... read more
( culture / humor / internet ) I just had to share this comment someone left here on FriendsNews.com. Read it, absorb it, digest it, lather, rinse and repeat it. Then let me know what the %$# it means! Here it is:"I comprehend that is genuinely uninteresting and you're merely skipping to the next comment, nonetheless i basi... read more
( culture / humor / internet / social ) No, not that kind of lost (knock on wood). So get that lump out of your throat.Don't you hate it when you're walking along talking to someone, it's crowded, you hear a muffled scream but think nothing of it, only to realize several blocks down the street that your friend is no longer walking besid... read more
( culture / humor / politics ) "Essentially, pretend the Soviets won the Cold War and then conquered the United States - that's how the government is operating." How to know if your coworker is a threat to national security... read more
( life / home / chores / humor ) While doling out who would be doing what for today's house cleaning project, my wife Tara assigned the following to me: Strip and make the bed. Knowing me, she then felt the need to clarify. That means strip the bed. I'll just let that sink in for those who don't immediately get it. During the cho... read more
( culture / humor / blog / bill ) So, my wife tells me most people do the dishes every day. I don't believe her. Every day? I ask.Yes, every day.Every single day?She nods. You don't mean it's something that is an 'every day' thing, but in reality is not done literally every single day, do you?No, she insists. What I'm say... read more
( culture / humor / pets ) I love this. So God made a dog"And on the 9th day God looked down on his children and said they need a companion, so God Made A Dog. Paul Harvey-style tribute to dogs."... read more
( culture / movies-tv-video / humor ) According to this video, this must be how it happened.Rand, in bed with Hubbard: "We can take the most wealthy, privileged, powerful people and get them to talk like they're the poor, persecuted minority!"Hubbard: "That's almost too evil."... read more
( culture / humor ) Bureaucracy at its worst, legal argument at its bestPart of rebuilding New Orleans caused residents often to be challenged with the task of tracing home titles back potentially hundreds of years.. With a community rich with history stretching back over two centuries, houses have been passed along th... read more
( culture / humor ) Man, that's three this year. At a dollar apiece, I'm gonna be rich! :) UPDATE: That was at Zazzle, but now I recommend CafePress.... read more
( culture / humor / jokes ) Montana State TrooperIn most of the United States there is a policy of checking on any stalled vehicle on the highway when temperatures drop to single digits or below. About 3 a.m. one very cold morning, Montana State Trooper Allan Nixon responded to a call.There was a car off the shoulder of the ro... read more
( culture / humor ) I just got an email saying I've made my first bumper sticker sale! They bought three, actually. At 33 cents commission per item, at this rate, one sale per year, I'll be rich in no time!UPDATE: That was at Zazzle, but now I recommend CafePress.... read more
( culture / humor / jokes ) A blonde walks by a travel agency and notices a sign in the window:"Cruise Special -- $99!"She goes inside, lays her money on the counter and says, "I'd like the $99 cruise special, please." The agent grabs her, drags her into the back room, ties her to a large inner tube, th... read more
( culture / humor / jokes ) 1972: Long hair; 2002: Longing for hair1972: The perfect high; 2002: The perfect high yield mutual fund1972: KEG; 2002: EKG1972: Acid rock; 2002: Acid reflux1972: Moving to California because it's cool; 2002: Moving to California because it's warm1972: Growing pot; 2002: Growing pot belly1972: Tryin... read more
( culture / humor / quotes ) "I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it's going to be impossible to buy a week's groceries for $20.""Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long before $2000 will only buy a used one.""If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'... read more
( culture / humor / jokes / math ) ROMANCE MATHEMATICSSmart man smart woman romanceSmart man dumb woman affairDumb man smart woman marriageDumb man dumb woman pregnancyOFFICE ARITHMETICSmart boss smart employee profitSmart boss dumb employee productionDumb boss smart employee promotionDumb boss dumb empl... read more
( culture / humor / jokes / sports ) BaseballAn Irishman moves to the USA and finally attends his first baseball game. The first batter approached the batters box, took a few swings and then hit a double. Everyone was on their feet screaming "Run, Run." The next batter hit a single and the Irishman listened as the crowd again... read more
( culture / humor / language / english ) Every year, English teachers from across the USA can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the country. Here are last year's winners. 1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a ci... read more
( culture / humor / jokes / airlines ) All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in flight safety lecture and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: 1. On a Southwest flight 245 (SW has no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were app... read more
( culture / humor / holidays ) Top 10 April Fools Day Hoaxes SPAGHETTI HARVEST - Bogus item on 1957 BBC news show Panorama. Viewers seeking advice on growing their own were told to put spaghetti sprig in tin of tomato sauce. SAN SERRIFFE - Guardian newspaper published seven-page supplement celebrating the Indian Ocean republic. I... read more
( culture / humor / quotes ) Andy Rooney on Monica. Can you believe it? Monica turned 28 this week. It seems like only yesterday that she was crawling round the White House on her hands and knees.... on Vegetarians. Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning "lousy hunter".... on Prisoners. Did you know that it ... read more
( culture / humor / jokes ) Joke Images Joke-related postsA little Bible study never hurt anyoneSubject: Why can't I own a Canadian? Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abominati ... read more
( culture / humor / jokes ) Save the whales. Collect the whole set. A day without sunshine is like, night. On the other hand, you have different fingers. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. 99 percent of politicians give the rest a bad name. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe. HONK if ... read more
( culture / humor / jokes ) Saturday morning I got up early, put on my long johns, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook theboat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.There was snow mixed with the rain and the wind was blowing 50 mph. I pulled b... read more
( culture / humor / jokes ) After months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking as it's the only type of cooking a real man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved. When a m... read more
( culture / humor / jokes / math ) This equation should be taught in all math classes! From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this: What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you t... read more
( culture / humor / jokes ) Blonde in a hailstormA blonde is driving home and she gets caught in a really bad hail storm.The hail is as big as tennis balls, and she ends up with her car covered with large dents. So the next day she takes her car to the repair shop. The shop owner, seeing she is blonde, decides to have a l... read more
( culture / humor / jokes ) NOTATIONS ON HOSPITAL CHARTSActual Sentences or notations Found In Patients' Hospital Charts (Proves that those medical folks are right on top of things.1. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left... read more
( culture / humor / language ) In a public restroom: TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW In a laundromat: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT In a London department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS In an office: WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING ... read more
( culture / humor / jokes ) Frequently Asked Questions About HealthcareQ: What does HMO stand for?A: This is actually a variation of the phrase, "Hey, Moe!" Its roots go back to a concept pioneered by Doctor Moe Howard, who discovered that a patient could be made to forget about the pain in his foot if he was poked h ... read more
( culture / humor / jokes / airlines ) After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial... read more
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