Typical Man's Timeline

by joker - 2002-01-08 05:00:00 ( in culture, humor, jokes) [php version] rebuild

1972: Long hair; 2002: Longing for hair

1972: The perfect high; 2002: The perfect high yield mutual fund

1972: KEG; 2002: EKG

1972: Acid rock; 2002: Acid reflux

1972: Moving to California because it's cool; 2002: Moving to California because it's warm

1972: Growing pot; 2002: Growing pot belly

1972: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor; 2002: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor

1972: Seeds and stems; 2002: Roughage

1972: Killer weed; 2002: Weed killer

1972: Hoping for a BMW; 2002: Hoping for a BM

1972: The Grateful Dead; 2002: Dr. Kevorkian

1972: Going to a new, hip joint; 2002: Receiving a new hip joint

1972: Rolling Stones; 2002: Kidney Stones

1972: Being called into the principal's office; 2002: Calling the principal's office

1972: Screw the system; 2002: Upgrade the system

1972: Disco; 2002: Costco

1972: Parents begging you to get your hair cut; 2002: Children begging you to get their heads shaved

1972: Passing the drivers' test; 2002: Passing the vision test

1972: Whatever; 2002: Depends

Just in case you weren't feeling too old today, this will certainly change things. Each year the staff at Beloit College in Wisconsin puts together a list to try to give the faculty a sense of the mind set of this year's (2002) incoming freshmen. Here's the list:

The people starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1983.

They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.

Their lifetime has always included AIDS.

Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic.

The CD was introduced the year they were born.

They have always had an answering machine.

They have always had cable TV.

They cannot fathom not having a remote.webp control.

Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.

Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.

They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.

They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are.

They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.

They never heard: "Where's the Beef?", "I'd walk a mile for a Camel" or "de plane Boss, de plane".

They do not care who shot J.R. and have no idea who J.R. even is.

McDonald's never came in Styrofoam containers.

They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.

Do you feel old yet?

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