by joker - 1998-01-06 21:00:00 ( in culture, humor, jokes, airlines) [php version]
After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.
(P = the problem logged by the pilot; S = the solution and action taken by the engineers.)
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
P: IFF inoperative.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
P: Target radar hums.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
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