"A novel is the fine art of never getting to the point."
"All the lies we deal with can be disheartening until you realize life itself began with a lie or, if you prefer, a bit of creative fiction. A story. And, we all love a good story! Make yourself the hero."
"I've decided the world in fact DOES owe me a living. But until it pays up, I'll keep working."
"There's something just sad about a middle-aged man admiring himself in the mirror. But enough about me. Kidding. It was someone else."
"I swear, half of all action films lately have the same description: [In throatiest voice] 'He thought he was retired. Now he has one... last... job to do!'"
"Watching Titanic [the part where the ship is sinking] is like watching the U.S. economy, where the rich conspire to sink as many of the poor as they possibly can."
"For life to work well for most people today, the universe has chosen an unlucky few for whom nothing works at all." :)
"Stay loose, keep moving, stay true to yourself... always."
"One way or another in our own inimitable way, we do to others what was done to us."
"Life is like a casino. In the end, your body loses and the house wins."
"Sometimes you have to laugh, sure, but it's better to cry and remain human than to laugh at the misfortune of others and slide into the abyss of inhumanity yourself."