I've Joined The Church

by doug - 2023-03-21 07:27:26 ( in culture, humor, satire, religion) [php version] rebuild

Hi everyone, I've joined the church!

Some people came to the house recently and convinced me of the errors of my ways. I finally see the light of truth and joined on the spot.

I've got a lot of catching up and I still don't fully understand everything, but I'm on my way now.

The first thing was I got all my covid-19 shots. I wanted to get up to speed and just got them all together. In order to reap the benefits of all these amazing companies, I got one from each -- Pfizer was first (of course). Then I followed that with Moderna. My first booster was by Johnson & Johnson. Luckily I was able to get my second booster with AstraZeneca. Other than a little numbness in my head, I feel wonderful. And I have needle holes on both arms and both legs. I might commemorate these with a tattoo of each. I saw others do this, so I can't take credit for the idea.

I couldn't wait to send this message while I'm still under observation.

Now back to my new church, called The Holy Church of Fauci, one thing I don't yet get is why everything is upsidedown. For example, Saint Fauci is on a cross but the cross is flipped over. I'm sure as I learn more this will become clear.

And I'm being encouraged to wear red garb, and especially try to bring young children from the neighborhood to a special ritual. They try to make it more fun by everyone wearing theatre masks, but regular masks (or 3) are also OK.

I'm starting to feel very tired and it's getting harder to breathe, plus my chest has been burning for a few minutes. So I'm just going to lay down on the floor for a minute before I finish this message.

Just think how much worse it could have been if I hadn't gotten all my shots. I'm really looking forward to more boosters and hear I may be able to swing another one in less than a month. Then they promised I can get at least 2 each year forever. I know I'm not that special, but I feel in such good hands.

I better end this now because it's getting hard to see my phone. And half of my face feels limp and unresponsive. I had to switch to my left hand to type this because I have no feeling in my right side. They just said my splitting headache is usual, not to worry. But it's all worth it.

Let Saint Fauci save you, too!!

Sent: Monday, March 20, 2023 10:24 AM

Good one. Very funny. I think you're right. The Democratic party seems like a cult to me, they don't have their own opinions, just the team opinion on everything.

Sent: Monday, March 20, 2023 11:23 AM

Sorry, but I didn't take the time to read it. I guess you had LOTS of time to create it. Of course, you're not better off and protected!

Sent: Monday, March 20, 2023 1:56 PM

It was also very therapeutic -- I was laughing my head off last night and again this morning as responses come in. It reveals where people reside in this epic fight for freedom.