SATIRE: Brother Steve Missing

by bill - 2025-06-28 ( family / holmes / humor ) [html version]

SACRAMENTO, Calif. -- My brother Steve went missing. Our brother Doug sounded the alarm via email after not hearing from him for several days. I assumed that "knock on the door and brief struggle" that Steve's wife was afraid of had finally happened, and he was now being held at a black site in Lodi.

Trust me, you never want to stop in Lodi. Just keep on driving. Creedence Clearwater Revival wrote a song about it for good reason.

Wait. False alarm. Turns out, there was just a problem with their email. Never mind.

The image shown with this post looks more like his wife, but it was all we had, due to budget constraints.