Visiting Family In Kansas

by bill - 2005-05-11 ( life / travel / usa / kansas ) [html version]

Kansas. What an incredibly boring state. Tara, her sister Sandie, niece Destiny, and I flew from Nashville to attend her youngest sister Stephanie's high school graduation in Council Grove. Tara and I figured we'd find something to do that night upon arrival in Kansas City, followed by more touring the next day before catching up with the other two, who had gone straight from the airport to Council Grove.

We were wrong. There were no concerts, sporting events, cultural events or anything else of interest happening in Kansas City. We drove around town just to kill time and maybe see a few sights.

No luck. Usually there's something worth looking at! Not so in Kansas City. We did find a quaint little deli off Main Street called JT's, but that was it.

So, we left for Topeka, our next night's hotel, a little earlier than planned. Of course, there's nothing to do in Topeka, either, but we expected that so it wasn't so bad.

Stephanie's graduation ceremony was pretty much what you would expect from a high school graduation. First, some sort of glee club sang horribly, then the co-salutatorians each spoke gibberish. Then, the co-valedictorians spoke. The first girl was sweet but scared out of her mind. Everyone sighed in relief and sympathy when she finished. The other girl must have been a math major, for she broke life down into days, hours, minutes, seconds and milliseconds, with examples of what a difference each one could make. Despite how I made it sound, it was actually a pretty good speech. But she wasn't as pretty as the first girl, so everyone booed her off the stage. Just kidding.

After the ceremony, friends and relatives of Stephanie met up at a local house rented out for special occasions like this. I sat around nibbling peanuts and smiling benignly a lot. Tara videotaped and tried to avoid everyone she despised, which was pretty much everyone but me and her blood relatives. Her latest stepfather and Sandie prepared/spiked the punch. Stephanie made a speech declaring her future plans which, to my surprise, included the possibility of law school. She'd probably make a good lawyer. No offense.

Finally, mercifully, it ended and we drove back to Topeka. We had to double-back to pick up Sandie and Destiny the next day, but all that was left was to catch our flight out of Kansas City and back to Nashville!

The moral of this story? Avoid Kansas if you can.