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( culture / humor / internet / social )If you came here looking for an actual article, you'll be disappointed. The title has more words than the article, or did until I wrote this sentence. This is a joke, though I wouldn't be surprised to hear this is actually happening. Elon never calls just to chat anymore, though, so I don't know.... read more( culture / humor / internet / spam )My name is doesn't matter, a portfolio manager from Stockholm, Sweden and a custodian of the Late David Holmes certificate of deposit (CD) valued fortune. here we go I sent you an initial email without a reply, Just curious if you received the email I sent ... on a matter concerning the dea... read more( culture / humor / covid / vaccines )New theme song, sung to the tune of She'll Be Coming 'Round the Mountain.
"Along with Let's Go Brandon, a new anthem Stick Your Vaccine Mandate Up Your A is making a buzz online. Many people around the world have sung the anthem as a way of protesting the Covid-19 "vaccine" manda... read more( life / health / covid / humor )"OMICRON... If you shuffle the letters, it spells MORONIC." -- from Sara Victoria, @SaraVic333
See twitter.com/SaraVic333/status/1464506749898006533 ... read more( culture / humor / covid / politics )In accordance with the White House's wishes, we are banning all misinformation from the worst offenders (the White House, CDC and WHO) from this website/platform. They have lost all credibility. I guess we should add Facebook, Twitter and YouTube to that list. Thank you for the suggestion, Joe. ... read more( culture / humor / internet / spam )Spam number 1
A novel location of Pack Worker of our package association was unblocked. Our business offers a vast fee and training bundle to make you as a teammate of our team's expanding 'n' favorably influential fellowship.
We unearthed yours data by means of the CareerBuilder online s... read more( culture / humor / covid )Remember back in 2020 when the entire world got an early April Fools joke with "health officials" renaming the seasonal flu "Covid-19?" And then those silly boys and girls in media began their fear and panic campaign? Almost everyone fell for it! Yeah, good times. Well, our w... read more( culture / humor / internet / spam )"Salute,A fresh stance for Wrapping Headmaster for our logistics fellowship has just been commenced. Our partnership offers a very proper remuneration & instructional case They're leaning pretty heavily on that thesaurus, aren't they? to establish ya'll as a worker of our management's improv... read more( culture / humor / internet / spam )A global leader with a yahoo address? I don't think so. Supposedly from Kayla Smith but address is iran.retailer? And it was not sent to me but to firstname.lastname@example.org. Starting to look like randomly-generated AI names, don't you think?"Our company, a global leader in the acquisition of spe ... read more( culture / humor / covid / vaccines )Hilarious!"This non-experimental experimental "vaccine" is truly a historic development, because apart from saving the world from a virus that causes mild to moderate flu-like symptoms (or, more commonly, no symptoms whatsoever) in roughly 95% of those infected, and that over 99% of t... read more( culture / humor / covid / vaccines )With all of these offers of free stuff coming out of Corporate America to encourage everyone to get this unnecessary (for 99% of us) and unwise covid "vaccination," it presents us all with a dilemma: A free order of fries (or joint here and here) versus the possible adverse effects of thi... read more( culture / humor / covid / vaccines ) Fauci and Gates today held a joint press conference to announce the following:Arm That Got Jab Attracts Magnet OK, there was no press conference but, unless this woman's arm was already magnetic (or sticky), this is very weird.... read more( culture / humor / internet / spam )Ah, yes, the good ol' Nigerian prince (with a Hungarian email address, for some reason) scam, just looking for somewhere to park my money! First of all, their numbering system is messed up. File number 180 out of 86? Anyway...Federal Ministry of Agriculture and Natural Resources. Federal capit... read more( culture / humor / internet / spam )One of our favorite scams! Our comments are interspersed in brackets and look like this.From: email@example.comHello there. Let me introduce myself first - Seems very polite! I am a professional programmer, who specializes in hacking during my free time. as most of us do This time you wer ... read more( culture / humor / internet / spam )I'm starting to think this 163.com domain is not legit!From: firstname.lastname@example.orgDear Sir,Lucky day to you! We ARE feeling lucky now that we've received this email! We are a professional shoes manufacturer, focused on this area for 10 years. We service a good quality shoes with best price and fa ... read more( culture / humor / internet / spam )How did they know we sell bicycles!? It's not mentioned anywhere on the site. Sure, we can sell you a bike by creating a link to a local bike shop and let them do the rest, if you want? Anyway, here's the latest very important random email:From: email@example.comHi There,Good day!This is natalie ... read more( culture / humor / internet / spam )Hi Sir ,We have been caring about your esteemed company for a long time. Awww!!! They've been 'caring about us!' Attached our star products. We sincerely hope can help with your business if any requirements. Product Name - Marigold extract Lutein/lutein ester/zeaxanthin 10%20%;Gingkgo biloba ... read more( culture / humor / internet / spam )I am so excited! Sounds sumptuous!Received this email the other day from Iris Holets at mrtito88.yahoo.com. I'm sure that is an actual person and address. People don't lie about these things, but I'm concerned. They're asking homemakers to be package managers. What exactly does that mean? ... read more( culture / humor / quotes )"Creativity is not a talent. It is a way of operating.""Nothing will stop you being creative so effectively as the fear of making a mistake.""He who laughs most, learns best."... read more( life / health / covid / humor ) A goat and papaya test positive for covid ...because the PCR test is invalid as it is being used here, just like the test's inventor (now conveniently dead) said.... read more( culture / humor / covid / masks ) The covid crisis provides the opportunity for many people to signal their virtuousness to the world. You'll see them walking or driving down the street, alone, with a mask up over their nose. And of course, many businesses are more "covid conscious" than others, employing guards at the e... read more( culture / humor / poetry ) I ain't much for shopping,Or for goin' into townExcept at cattle-shipping time,I ain't too easily found.But the day came when I had to go -I... read more( culture / humor / writing / blog )No Service. That's what my phone said when I arrived at the restaurant to pick up my teenage daughter. I couldn't text her to say I'd arrived. I would have to do the unthinkable: Get out of the car, physically walk in, and risk human interaction. Worst of all, one of her co-workers might see me... read more( culture / humor / home / household )Hilarious conversation I came across on thegatewaypundit.com in the comment section of an article...No toilet paper for you!I have a bidet. Best investment eva!How do you dry your crack?It has a built in blow (heated) dryer.Holy moly! I'm slumming it with my basic bidet!And a heated seat... I know I... read more( culture / humor / covid / politics )"Look folks, there's an easy way around the government ban on having a traditional Thanksgiving feast with friends and family. Hold a protest against colonialist oppression instead! As we know, protests are exempt from the rules, and are scientifically proven to pose lower risk of Covid sprea... read more( culture / humor / movies-tv-video )"A man learns how tough it is to order a pizza in the not-too-distant future." Go to How to order a Pizza in the Future UPDATE: Even better, here's the original from 2006: Ordering Pizza in the Future... read more( culture / humor )Oct. 21 (UPI) -- The Norwegian official responsible for Daylight Saving Time in the country apologized for adding an additional hour to what has already been a very demanding year.... Go to upi.com/OddNews... read more( culture / movies-tv-video / humor )Making news not faking news: Watch Deepfake Donald Trump on his first day working at RT... Go to rt.com/news/501369-donald-trump-rt-deep-fake/... read more( culture / humor / covid ) Hilariously sad. See What It's Like Living in California Now "We now have hundreds of thousands of so-called 'cases', 'infections' and 'positive tests' but hardly any sick people. Recall that four fifths (80%) of 'infections' are asymptomatic (1) Covid wards have been by and large empty... read more( culture / humor / jokes / airlines )An award should go to the gate agent in Denver for being smart and funny, while making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo. A crowded United Airlines flight was canceled. A single agent was ebooking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an ... read more( culture / humor / jokes )New Los Angeles Driver's Exam For those not fortunate enough to live in Los Angeles, here is a copy of the Los Angeles Driver's Exam. For those of you who are, study real hard. This is a new exam. Since driving conditions (and culture) are unique in Los Angeles, you may not have realized that the C... read more( culture / humor )Acknowledging Receipt of Australopithicus Spiff-arino The story behind the letter below is that there is a man in Newport, RI named Scott Williams who digs things out of his backyard and sends the stuff he finds to the Smithsonian Institution, labeling them with scientific names, insisting that they... read more( culture / humor )How do these people survive?
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
"We don't have half dozen nuggets", said the teenager at the counter.
"You don't?&quo... read more( culture / humor / quotes )Some Thoughts On Life
Raising teenagers is like trying to nail Jell-O to a tree.
There is always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.
Reason to smile: Every seven minutes of every day, someone ... read more( culture / humor / quotes )Somethin' to think about Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun. How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on. I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them. If ign ... read more( culture / humor / quotes )Somethin' to think about Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a trip around the sun. How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on. I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them. If ignoranc ... read more( culture / humor )Five people who have a job worse than yours The San Francisco Zoo has an elephant named Calle who has a chronic illness requiring medication. The zoo people couldn't get Calle to take her dose orally, so a California pharmacist developed a suppository. The 10-inch-long, four-pound, cocoa-butter bull... read more( culture / humor )Credit Card Bill In March 1992 a man living in Newtown near Boston, Massachusetts received a bill for his as yet unused credit card stating that he owed $0.00. He ignored it and threw it away.In April he received another and threw that one away too. The following month the credit card company sent ... read more( culture / humor / jokes / christmas )A Christmas Story One day, this past December, I was rushing around trying to get some last minute shopping done. I was stressed out and not thinking very fondly of the Christmas season right then. It was dark, cold, and wet in the parking lot as I was loading my car up with gifts I felt obligated t... read more( education / tech / computers / humor )No computer can do without this: screen cleaner. Converted free by cloudconvert.com... read more( culture / humor / transportation / auto ) A mostly one-way text conversation (click image) I had with my wife yesterday while she worked and I tried to get her car emissions tested. I was laughing at my own situation after a while, wondering what could possibly go wrong next. I never did get it tested because I really did have to leave a... read more( culture / humor / covid )Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe.Homeschooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teac... read more( culture / humor / language / english )This is pretty old, from the old newsletter in 1992, when the Soviet Union still existed, but it's still funnyHow English is Being Used in Different Parts of the WorldIN A TOKYO HOTEL: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing please not to read notis.IN A BUC... read more( culture / humor / covid / fashion )Nobody bats an eye now when I walk into a bank or store with a bandanna wrapped across my face. Of course, the gun is still a sure giveaway.... read more( culture / humor / jokes )WARNING: Not necessarily for kids (or the squeamish).animals &n... read more( culture / humor / jokes )Some bad language, but funny. Get Into Farming... read more( culture / humor )via reddit. "Look, buddy, I get it. You have a Ferrari and 'wanna go fast' like Ricky Bobby but maybe central fcking London isn't the place for you.""Phone doctors at 7.59 a.m.: 'surgery is closed.' Phone doctors at 8.00 'You are number 8 in the queue.'""You can work with p... read more( culture / humor / employment )Don't you hate it when you're at work? The end. Wait, no, that's not the end. You're at work - on the bottom floor, because that's where the snack machine is - and you decide to use the restroom. The cleaning lady is in there, with her cart blocking the door. So, you take the stairs back to your floor, the sixth, because you haven't met yo... read more( culture / photography / humor / sports )The rainbow really does end in Sacramento! My nephew Milan has captured proof. :) This was taken at their minor league team, Sacramento Rivercats, stadium where Milan works. Speaking of Sacramento, here's a list of famous people from there (because we know you were wondering):William Arthur HolmesC... read more( culture / humor / jokes ) OK, three good ones. and and, this just in, something to settle the argument... ... read more( culture / humor )Don't you hate it when you're taking the stairs, looking down because it's a struggle, you think you've reached your floor only to look up and see you've got two more to go? Working on the third floor is rough!... read more( culture / humor / jokes )Worrying must work, because almost everything I worry about ends up not happening!... read more( culture / humor / transportation / auto ) This is too funny not to share.
"Almost every driver has been there - when parking in a large lot or garage, it can be easy to misplace a car.But while most drivers locate their cars after a frustrating few minutes, one German man has been searching..."
See German man's car found. ... read more( life / money / employment / humor )Got off the phone with @NASA. Had to tell 'em, "Look, I'm not willing to relocate. Stop calling!" OK, so it wasn't actually NASA, I didn't say exactly that, and it wasn't actually a job offer. A recruiter did call about an opportunity there, though. I'm not a COMPLETE liar.... read more( culture / quotes / humor )"The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream." - Bill MurrayNEW! Random samples of dialogue from my novels!... read more( life / help / services / humor )Get your insults here! This is a free service that we're only too happy to provide. And just because it's free doesn't mean it's not professionally done. Give us a call anytime, but the later the hour, the worse the insult!... read more( culture / humor / transportation / auto )Driving wife's Jetta while my car gets serviced. I called it a piece of $h! while I tried to climb out. Its door hit me in the forehead during the struggle. So, I guess we're even.... read more( culture / humor / jokes )"If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear it, is he still wrong?"... read more( culture / movies-tv-video / humor )Almost half of all action films on Netflix have a variation of this description: "He thought he was retired, but has to do One. Last. Job!Affiliate marketing link belowTry Fubo streaming TV ... read more( culture / humor / family )Can you say awkward?So, I'm walking back from feeding the neighbor's dog while they're on vacation. I see my wife and daughter in the car up ahead, just about to turn onto our street. I'm looking at them. They're looking at me. They're still about a hundred yards away, so I'm actually not entirely... read more( culture / humor / food )I think I'm addicted to cereal, I said. Addicted? she asked. Yeah, I'm gonna hit the street looking for my latest fix.And by 'street,' you mean Aisle 3 at Kroger, right?Don't question my street cred!... read more( culture / humor / sports )Signing my daughter up for softball, I had to laugh at this (stripped down) Parents Code of Ethics:I will encourage good sportsmanshipI will place the emotional and physical well-being of my child ahead of my personal desire to win.I will remember that the game is for the youth - not adults.
I gues... read more( culture / humor / internet )I just had to share this comment someone left here on FriendsNews.com. Read it, absorb it, digest it, lather, rinse and repeat it. Then let me know what the %$# it means! Here it is:"I comprehend that is genuinely uninteresting and you're merely skipping to the next comment, nonetheless i basi... read more( culture / humor / internet / social )No, not that kind of lost (knock on wood). But, don't you hate it when you're walking along talking to someone, it's crowded, you hear a muffled scream but think nothing of it, only to realize several blocks down the street that your friend is no longer walking beside you? You've been talking to ... read more( culture / humor / politics )"Essentially, pretend the Soviets won the Cold War and then conquered the United States - that's how the government is operating." How to know if your coworker is a threat to national security... read more( life / home / chores / humor )While doling out who would be doing what for today's house cleaning project, my wife Tara assigned the following to me: Strip and make the bed. Knowing me, she then felt the need to clarify. That means strip the bed. I'll just let that sink in for those who don't immediately get it. During the cho... read more( culture / humor / pets )Click on this link to clean the inside of your screen: screenclean.gif... read more( culture / humor / pets )I love this.
"And on the 9th day God looked down on his children and said they need a companion, so God Made A Dog. Paul Harvey-style tribute to dogs."
So God made a dog... read more( culture / movies-tv-video / humor )According to this video, this must be how it happened.Rand, in bed with Hubbard: "We can take the most wealthy, privileged, powerful people and get them to talk like they're the poor, persecuted minority!"Hubbard: "That's almost too evil."... read more( culture / humor ) Bureaucracy at its worst, legal argument at its best Part of rebuilding New Orleans caused residents often to be challenged with the task of tracing home titles back potentially hundreds of years.. With a community rich with history stretching back over two centuries, houses have been passed along ... read more( culture / humor )Man, that's three this year. At a dollar apiece, I'm gonna be rich! :) UPDATE: That was at Zazzle, but now I recommend CafePress.... read more( culture / humor / jokes )Montana State TrooperIn most of the United States there is a policy of checking on any stalled vehicle on the highway when temperatures drop to single digits or below. About 3 a.m. one very cold morning, Montana State Trooper Allan Nixon responded to a call. There was a car off the shoulder of the ... read more( culture / humor / jokes ) All joke images... read more( culture / humor )I just got an email saying I've made my first bumper sticker sale! They bought three, actually. At 33 cents commission per item, at this rate, one sale per year, I'll be rich in no time!UPDATE: That was at Zazzle, but now I recommend CafePress.... read more( culture / humor / crime )Detroit PD should be ashamed! :) Here's the new link ... read more( culture / humor / jokes )A blonde walks by a travel agency and notices a sign in the window:"Cruise Special -- $99!"She goes inside, lays her money on the counter and says, "I'd like the $99 cruise special, please." The agent grabs her, drags her into the back room, ties her to a large inner tube, th... read more( culture / humor / jokes )1972: Long hair; 2002: Longing for hair
1972: The perfect high; 2002: The perfect high yield mutual fund
1972: KEG; 2002: EKG
1972: Acid rock; 2002: Acid reflux
1972: Moving to California because it's cool; 2002: Moving to California because it's warm
1972: Growing pot; 2002: Growing pot belly
1972: Trying to look ... read more( culture / humor / quotes ) "I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it's going to be impossible to buy a week's groceries for $20." "Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long before $2000 will only buy a used one.""If cigarettes keep going up in price, ... read more( culture / humor / jokes / sports )Baseball An Irishman moves to the USA and finally attends his first baseball game. The first batter approached the batters box, took a few swings and then hit a double. Everyone was on their feet screaming "Run, Run." The next batter hit a single and the Irishman listened as the crowd agai... read more( culture / humor / jokes / math )ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man smart woman romance
Smart man dumb woman affair
Dumb man smart woman marriage
Dumb man dumb woman pregnancy
Smart boss smart employee profit
Smart boss dumb employee production
Dumb boss smart employee promotion
Dum... read more( culture / humor / language / english )Every year, English teachers from across the USA can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the country. Here are last year's winners. 1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a ci... read more( culture / humor / jokes / airlines )All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight safety lecture and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: 1. On a Southwest flight 245 (SW has no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were app... read more( culture / humor / holidays )Top 10 April Fools Day Hoaxes SPAGHETTI HARVEST - Bogus item on 1957 BBC news show Panorama. Viewers seeking advice on growing their own were told to put spaghetti sprig in tin of tomato sauce. SAN SERRIFFE - Guardian newspaper published seven-page supplement celebrating the Indian Ocean republic. I... read more( culture / humor / quotes )Andy Rooney on Monica. Can you believe it? Monica turned 28 this week. It seems like only yesterday that she was crawling round the White House on her hands and knees.... on Vegetarians. Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning "lousy hunter".... on Prisoners. Did you know that it ... read more( culture / humor / jokes )Joke Images Joke-related postsA little Bible study never hurt anyone Subject: Why can't I own a Canadian? Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abominat... read more( culture / humor / jokes )Save the whales. Collect the whole set. A day without sunshine is like, night. On the other hand, you have different fingers. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. 99 percent of politicians give the rest a bad name. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe. HONK if ... read more( culture / humor / jokes )
Saturday morning I got up early, put on my long johns, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. There was snow mixed with the rain and the wind was blowing 50 mph. I pu... read more( culture / humor / jokes )After months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking as it's the only type of cooking a real man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved. When a m... read more( culture / humor / jokes / math )This equation should be taught in all math classes! From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this: What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you t... read more( culture / humor / jokes / airlines )After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial... read more( culture / humor / jokes )Frequently Asked Questions About Healthcare Q: What does HMO stand for?A: This is actually a variation of the phrase, "Hey, Moe!" Its roots go back to a concept pioneered by Doctor Moe Howard, who discovered that a patient could be made to forget about the pain in his foot if he was poked ... read more( culture / humor / language )
In a public restroom
Toilet Out Of Order. Please Use Floor Below
In a laundromat
Automatic Washing Machines
Please Remove All Your Clothes When The Light Goes Out
In a London department store
Bargain Basement Upstairs
In an offi ... read more( culture / humor / jokes )NOTATIONS ON HOSPITAL CHARTS Actual Sentences or notations Found In Patients' Hospital Charts 1. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night. 2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. 3. On the second day the knee was better, and on ... read more( culture / humor / jokes )Blonde in a hailstormA blonde is driving home and she gets caught in a really bad hail storm.The hail is as big as tennis balls, and she ends up with her car covered with large dents. So the next day she takes her car to the repair shop. The shop owner, seeing she is blonde, decides to have a l... read more
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