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Vol. 2 No. 12, September 17, 1990
"Your Only News Source"
It's a girl!!
We asked Denise if she could hurry up and have the baby because we wanted to put out this issue. And, sure enough, she had the baby two weeks early! Wasn't that nice? The bouncing baby girl, Kristen Alyssa, was born sometime after midnight, September 9, and Denise and the baby are already home. But you probably knew that already.
Doug returned from Salt Lake City after all and through his
genealogical research he's compiled an impressive-looking family tree. It was someone
else's family, but hey, it's impressive.
Lucy lodges protest
From her home high up in the hills of Livingston, Lucy has filed a formal protest against this newsletter. It seems we forgot to mention her birthday (Aug. 15th) in the previous issue, and she's upset. What does she want? We mentioned her birthday last year! How were we to know she actually reads this thing?!
Steve pulls teeth
Steve got his wisdom teeth pulled a couple weeks before the baby was born, just for the hell of it. "Well," explained Steve, "I was sitting there one day just wondering what to do, you know. And Denise suggested I get my teeth pulled. I said to myself 'Yeah, that's a great idea!'" And so that's what he did.
Bill burns down house
Well, almost. You see, Bill was sitting there watching a Giants game, talking to Doug on the phone and cooking some chicken for dinner all at the same time, when he noticed the oven was smoking. Of course, it always smokes because Bill never cleans it. But this time, it caught fire! Bill immediately hung up the phone and ran down to his car where he keeps a fire extinguisher. With the extinguisher, he quickly doused the flames. A couple minutes later, the Fire Department showed up, but due to Bill's quick thinking the Fire Department was not needed. The firemen commended Bill for having a fire extinguisher, told him to go to Colonel Sanders' if he wanted chicken, and then they left.
Go see the new film "Pump Up The Volume"! It's basically a
documentary about Mike and his radio show. "It's not often they make a movie for
me," says Mike.
From our files
A girl named Lucy
This is a story 'bout a girl named Lucy
Lucy Aug. 15
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