( culture / humor / jokes )
Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.
I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe.
I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.
Still haven't decided where ... read more
( culture / humor ) Stumbled upon this and thought I'd share. Here's a sample...
Look, buddy, I get it . You have a Ferrari and you "wanna go fast" like Ricky Bobby but maybe central fcking London isn't ... read more
( education / news / politics / humor ) This pretty well sums up the stupidity known as Russia-gate: russiagate cartoon.
And, can we please stop adding gate to the end of every scandal? Millennials are too young to remember Watergate, the original gate.
Thank you for your coope ... read more
( culture / humor ) Don't you hate it when you're taking the stairs, looking down because it's a struggle, you think you've reached your floor only to look up and see you've got two more to go? Working on the third floor is rough!... read more
( culture / movies-tv / humor ) Action films on Netflix- Almost half of all action films on Netflix have a variation of this description: "He thought he was retired, but has to do One. Last. Job! 1950... read more
( culture / writing / blog / humor ) - Me (joking, the other day): I'm out of toothpaste! Whaddaya gonna do about it?
Wife (without missing a beat): Find a husband with toothpaste, I guess.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I married her. :) And that's why I'm at the store right now, buying toothpaste. ... read more
( culture / humor ) So, I'm walking back from feeding the neighbor's dog while they're on vacation. I see my wife and daughter in the car up ahead, just about to turn onto our street. I'm looking at them. They're looking at me (or at least it feels like it). They're still about a hundred yards away, so I'm not entirely sure. To be silly, I ... read more
( culture / humor ) I think I'm addicted to cereal, I said.
Addicted? she asked.
Yeah, I'm gonna hit the street looking for my latest fix.
And by 'street,' you mean Aisle 3 at Kroger, right?
Don't question my street cred!... read more
( culture / humor / internet ) I just had to share this comment someone left here on FriendsNews.com. Read it, absorb it, digest it, lather, rinse and repeat it. Then let me know what the %$# it means! Here it is:
"I comprehend that is genuinely uninteresting and you're merely skipping to the next comment, nonetheless i basically preferred to toss... read more
( culture / humor / politics ) "Essentially, pretend the Soviets won the Cold War and then conquered the United States — that's how the government is operating."
via How to know if your coworker is a threat to national security ... read more
( culture / humor / pets ) I love this.
via So God made a dog
"And on the 9th day God looked down on his children and said they need a companion, so God Made A Dog. Paul Harvey-style tribute to dogs." ... read more
( culture / humor ) Part of rebuilding New Orleans caused residents often to be challenged with the task of tracing home titles back potentially hundreds of years.. With a community rich with history stretching back over two centuries, houses have been passed along through generations of family, sometimes making it quite difficult to establish ownership.A New Orl... read more
( culture / writing / blog / humor ) Bureaucracy at its worst, legal argument at its bestPart of rebuilding New Orleans caused residents often to be challenged with the task of tracing home titles back potentially hundreds of years.. With a community rich with history stretching back over two centuries, houses have been passed along through generations of fami ... read more
( culture / humor / jokes ) Montana State Trooper
In most of the United States there is a policy of checking on any stalled vehicle on the highway when temperatures drip to single digits or below. About 3 a.m. one very cold morning, Montana State Trooper Allan Nixon responded to a call.There was a car off the shoulder of the road outside Great Falls, Montana.H ... read more
( culture / humor ) I just got an email saying I've made my first bumper sticker sale! They bought three, actually. At 33 cents commission per item, at this rate, one sale per year, I'll be rich in no time!
UPDATE: That was at Zazzle, but now I recommend CafePress (once it's set up).... read more
( culture / humor / holidays ) Top 10 April Fools hoaxes
SPAGHETTI HARVEST - Bogus item on 1957 BBC news show Panorama. Viewers seeking advice on growing their own were told to put spaghetti sprig in tin of tomato sauce.
SAN SERRIFFE - Guardian newspaper published seven-page supplement celebrating the Indian Ocean republic. Its two main islands were Upper ... read more
( culture / humor / jokes ) Saturday morning I got up early, put on my long johns, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the
boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.
There was snow mixed with the rain and the wind was blowing 50 mph. I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, a ... read more
( culture / humor / jokes ) After months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking as it's the only type of cooking a real man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved.
When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following... read more
( culture / humor / language ) ( , , english, )This is pretty old, from the old newsletter in 1992, when the Soviet Union still existed, but it's still funny
How English is Being Used in Different Parts of the World
IN A TOKYO HOTEL: Is forbit ... read more
( culture / humor / jokes ) Screw in a light bulb
Q: How many Star Trek crew members does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Six. Scotty to get on the intercom when the light goes out and say, I canna do it, Cap'n! I'm not a miracle worker!; Spock to tell Kirk he is proceeding illogically; McCoy to say Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor not an ele ... read more
( culture / writing / blog / humor ) - ( miscellaneous )Miscellaneous
Had alarm set for 4:15a.m., but the trash collectors in the alley behind my hotel thought 3:30 would be better.
At the airport, I was busted for trying to sneak ... read more