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Humor Amid Official Overreaction

( culture / humor / jokes )
Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem. I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe. I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator. Still haven't decided where ... read more

Bandanna Fashion

( culture / humor )
Nobody bats an eye now when I walk into a bank or store with a bandanna wrapped across my face. Of course, the gun is still a sure giveaway. ... read more

British Problems

( culture / humor )
Stumbled upon this and thought I'd share. Here's a sample... Look, buddy, I get it . You have a Ferrari and you "wanna go fast" like Ricky Bobby but maybe central fcking London isn't ... read more

Russia-gate, Explained

( education / news / politics / humor )
This pretty well sums up the stupidity known as Russia-gate: russiagate cartoon. And, can we please stop adding gate to the end of every scandal? Millennials are too young to remember Watergate, the original gate. Thank you for your coope ... read more

Couple Of Good Ones

( culture / humor / jokes )
OK, three good ones. gatewaydrug.jpg and votesnip.jpg and, this just in, something to settle the argument... cats.jpg ... read more

Taking The Stairs

( culture / humor )
Don't you hate it when you're taking the stairs, looking down because it's a struggle, you think you've reached your floor only to look up and see you've got two more to go? Working on the third floor is rough!... read more

Trail Of Blood

( culture / writing / blog / humor )
Walking in from the parking lot into work this morning, on the sidewalk I saw what looked like a trail of blood. There was a big spot of it at the top of the sidewalk, and it dwindled as it continued downhill toward the front door. What the...? This building is out in the mid... read more

Action Films On Netflix

( culture / movies-tv / humor )
- Almost half of all action films on Netflix have a variation of this description: "He thought he was retired, but has to do One. Last. Job! 1950... read more

Out Of Toothpaste

( culture / writing / blog / humor )
- Me (joking, the other day): I'm out of toothpaste! Whaddaya gonna do about it? Wife (without missing a beat): Find a husband with toothpaste, I guess. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I married her. :) And that's why I'm at the store right now, buying toothpaste. ... read more

Awkward

( culture / humor )
So, I'm walking back from feeding the neighbor's dog while they're on vacation. I see my wife and daughter in the car up ahead, just about to turn onto our street. I'm looking at them. They're looking at me (or at least it feels like it). They're still about a hundred yards away, so I'm not entirely sure. To be silly, I ... read more

Cereal

( culture / humor )
I think I'm addicted to cereal, I said. Addicted? she asked. Yeah, I'm gonna hit the street looking for my latest fix. And by 'street,' you mean Aisle 3 at Kroger, right? Don't question my street cred!... read more

This Is Deep

( culture / humor / internet )
I just had to share this comment someone left here on FriendsNews.com. Read it, absorb it, digest it, lather, rinse and repeat it. Then let me know what the %$# it means! Here it is: "I comprehend that is genuinely uninteresting and you're merely skipping to the next comment, nonetheless i basically preferred to toss... read more

How To Know If Your Co-worker Is A Threat To National Security

( culture / humor / politics )
"Essentially, pretend the Soviets won the Cold War and then conquered the United States — that's how the government is operating." via How to know if your coworker is a threat to national security ... read more

So God Made A Dog

( culture / humor / pets )
I love this. via So God made a dog "And on the 9th day God looked down on his children and said they need a companion, so God Made A Dog. Paul Harvey-style tribute to dogs." ... read more

Comedian Richard Jeni Why The Left And Right Suck

( culture / humor / politics )
Comedian Richard Jeni, why the left and right suckComedian Richard Jeni: Why The Left & The Right Suck" ... read more

How Hubbard And Rand Got Their Ideas

( culture / humor / jokes )
According to this video, this must be how it happened. UPDATE: "How Ayn Rand and L. Ron Hubbard Came Up With Their Big Ideas"... read more

Bureaucracy At Its Worst, Legal Argument At Its Best

( culture / humor )
Part of rebuilding New Orleans caused residents often to be challenged with the task of tracing home titles back potentially hundreds of years.. With a community rich with history stretching back over two centuries, houses have been passed along through generations of family, sometimes making it quite difficult to establish ownership.A New Orl... read more

Bureaucracy At Its Worst Legal Argument At Its Best

( culture / writing / blog / humor )
Bureaucracy at its worst, legal argument at its bestPart of rebuilding New Orleans caused residents often to be challenged with the task of tracing home titles back potentially hundreds of years.. With a community rich with history stretching back over two centuries, houses have been passed along through generations of fami ... read more

Sold Another Bumper Sticker

( culture / humor )
- ( sales )Man, that's three this year. At a dollar apiece, I'm gonna be rich! :) UPDATE: That was at Zazzle, but now I recommend Cafe... read more

Fastest Trooper

( culture / humor / jokes )
Montana State Trooper In most of the United States there is a policy of checking on any stalled vehicle on the highway when temperatures drip to single digits or below. About 3 a.m. one very cold morning, Montana State Trooper Allan Nixon responded to a call.There was a car off the shoulder of the road outside Great Falls, Montana.H ... read more

Something To Ponder

( education / history / humor )
Railroad tracks The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used? Because that's the way they built them in... read more

Doormats With A Difference

( culture / writing / blog / humor )
... read more

My First Bumper Sticker Sale!

( culture / humor )
I just got an email saying I've made my first bumper sticker sale! They bought three, actually. At 33 cents commission per item, at this rate, one sale per year, I'll be rich in no time! UPDATE: That was at Zazzle, but now I recommend CafePress (once it's set up).... read more

Airline Cabin Announcements

( culture / humor / travel )
All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in flight safety lecture and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: 1. On a Southwest flight 245 (SW has no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a fli... read more

April Fools Day Hoaxes

( culture / humor / holidays )
Top 10 April Fools hoaxes SPAGHETTI HARVEST - Bogus item on 1957 BBC news show Panorama. Viewers seeking advice on growing their own were told to put spaghetti sprig in tin of tomato sauce. SAN SERRIFFE - Guardian newspaper published seven-page supplement celebrating the Indian Ocean republic. Its two main islands were Upper ... read more

Jokes

( culture / humor / jokes )
Images Joke-related posts, ... read more

Ice Fishing

( culture / humor / jokes )
Saturday morning I got up early, put on my long johns, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. There was snow mixed with the rain and the wind was blowing 50 mph. I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, a ... read more

Barbecue Season

( culture / humor / jokes )
After months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking as it's the only type of cooking a real man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved. When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following... read more

Local Pick Up

( culture / humor / shopping )
Just ordered a $10 item on eBay. They offered " in Las Vegas, Nevada" versus delivering it. I live in Nashville. I need to decide if it's worth driving out there. Suggestions?... read more

Mangled English

( culture / humor / language )
( , , english, )This is pretty old, from the old newsletter in 1992, when the Soviet Union still existed, but it's still funny How English is Being Used in Different Parts of the World IN A TOKYO HOTEL: Is forbit ... read more

More Miscellaneous Jokes

( culture / humor / jokes )
Screw in a light bulb Q: How many Star Trek crew members does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Six. Scotty to get on the intercom when the light goes out and say, I canna do it, Cap'n! I'm not a miracle worker!; Spock to tell Kirk he is proceeding illogically; McCoy to say Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor not an ele ... read more

Doing The Dishes

( culture / writing / blog / humor )
So, my wife tells me most people do the dishes every day. I don't believe her. Every day? I ask.Yes, every day, she says.Every single day? I persist. She nods. You don't mean, I search for c... read more

Random Observations

( culture / writing / blog / humor )
- ( miscellaneous )Miscellaneous Had alarm set for 4:15a.m., but the trash collectors in the alley behind my hotel thought 3:30 would be better. At the airport, I was busted for trying to sneak ... read more

Restroom Difficulty

( culture / writing / blog / humor )
Don't you hate it when you're at work? The end. Wait, that's not the end. You're at work — on the bottom floor, because that's where the snack machine is — and you decide to use t... read more

Get Into Farming

( culture / writing / blog / humor )
Some bad language, but funny. Get Into Farming... read more

House Cleaning

( culture / writing / blog / humor )
house-cleaning.pngDoling out who would be doing what for today's house cleaning project, my wife Tara assigned the following to me: Strip and make the bed. Knowing me, she then felt the need to clarify this. That means strip t... read more

Too Funny

( culture / writing / blog / humor )
This is too funny not to share. See German man's car found 20 years after he lost it in... read more

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