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On The Subject Of Bidets

( culture / humor / )
Hilarious conversation I came across on thegatewaypundit.com... No toilet paper for you! I have a bidet. Best investment eva! How do you dry your crack? It has a built in blow (heated) dryer. Holy moly! I'm slumming it with my basic bidet! And a heated seat... I know I'm rubbing it in. ... read more

Christian Josi (pjmedia Columnist) Quote

( culture / quotes / )
via pjmedia.com Polling: The gateway political drug to misinformation, mistakes and malfeasance -- Christian Josi This was actually a headline, but I thought it was great all by itself.... read more

Adlai Stevenson Quote

( culture / quotes / )
The tragedy of our day is the climate of fear in which we live, and fear breeds repression. Too often, sinister threats to the Bill of Rights, to freedom of the mind, are concealed under the patriotic cloak of anti-Communism. -- Adlai Stevenson Today, it's the cloak of a bad flu bug called Covid-... read more

Good News For Church-goers

( culture / people / religion )
via Washington Examiner The ruling comes after the Roman Catholic Diocese of Brooklyn sued the Democratic governor of New York over his executive actions restricting church attendance earlier this month. In their 5-4 decision, the majority struck down the regulations since they cannot be viewe... read more

Hilarious Memes About Lockdowns

( culture / humor / politics )
via https://www.powerlineblog.com/archives/2020/11/the-week-in-pictures-colonialism-protest-meal-edition.php Look folks, there's an easy way around the government ban on having a traditional Thanksgiving feast with friends and family. Hold a protest against colonialist oppression instead! As we kno ... read more

Arthur C Clarke Quote

( culture / quotes / science )
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. -- Arthur C. Clarke ... read more

These Zeba Sneakers Look Cool

( culture / fashion / shoes )
These Zeba shoes look great! Expensive, but very nice! You can put them on without bending down or even retying them! See https://zebashoes.com/ Hands-free Sneakers. Put your sneakers on without ever having to bend down! They only need be laced ONCE to your liking then slip on easily. ... read more

Breeders Cup 2020

( culture / sports / horseracing )
The Breeders Cup is happening today! And yesterday, but we missed that. Today is the big day, anyway. I am really looking forward to the Classic, the final race. Some big names. Go to breederscup.com UPDATE: Authentic won it handily by 2-1/2 lengths. Morning-line favorite Improbable nosed ou... read more

Art Should Comfort The Disturbed And Disturb The Comfortable

( culture / quotes / art )
Art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable. -- Cesar A. Cruz NEW! Random samples of dialogue from my novels!... read more

William Arthur Holmes Quotes

( culture / quotes / writing )
A novel is the fine art of never getting to the point. I swear, half of all action films lately have the same description: In throatiest voice He thought he was retired. Now he has one... last... job to do! I've decided the world in fact DOES owe me a living. But until it pays up, I'll keep wo... read more

Lee Child Quotes

( culture / quotes / writing )
Don't get it right, get it written! -- Lee Child NEW! Random samples of dialogue from my novels!... read more

Ordering A Pizza In The Near Future (Like, Maybe Next Year)

( culture / humor / movies-tv )
via How to order a Pizza in the Future A man learns how tough it is to order a pizza in the not too distant future. UPDATE: Even better, here's the original from 2006: Ordering Pizza in the Future... read more

Norwegian Official Apologizes For Making 2020 An Hour Longer

( culture / humor )
via https://www.upi.com/OddNews/2020/10/21/Norwegian-official-apologizes-for-making-2020-an-hour-longer/3161603310054/ The Norwegian official responsible for Daylight Saving Time in the country apologized for adding an additional hour to what has already been a very demanding ... read more

One Of My Favorite Twain Quotes

( culture / quotes )
If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed. -- Mark Twain NEW! Random samples of dialogue from my novels! ... read more

Favorite Songs

( culture / music )
Current favorite songs A Thousand Years - Christina Perri American Girl - Tom Petty Baby Hold On - Dixie Chicks Bad - U2 Boys of Summer - Don Henley Breathe (2 AM) - Anna Nalick Casual Conversations - Supertramp Children Of The World - Amy Grant Downstream - Supertramp Driving With the Bra... read more

Harness Racing Legend, Billy Direct

( culture / sports / horseracing )
I just learned that a harness racing legend, Billy Direct, was born near where I live. I just thought that was pretty cool. See HistoricMarkersTN/MarkerDetail?markerID058-047. It says his time was 1:44 but in fact it was 1:55. This was in 1938, I guess before they could use fractions of secon... read more

Orwell Quotes

( culture / quotes )
No one ever seizes power with the intention of relinquishing it. Power is not a means; it is an end. All tyrannies rule through fraud and force, but once the fraud is exposed they must rely exclusively on force. -- George Orwell NEW! Random samples of dialogue from my novels!... read more

Bill Hicks Quote

( culture / quotes )
The problem isn't a lack of money, food, water or land. The problem is that you've given control of these things to a group of greedy psychopaths who care more about maintaining their own power than helping mankind. -- Bill Hicks NEW! Random samples of dialogue from my novels!... read more

Charles Bukowski Quotes

( culture / quotes )
'The problem with the world is that intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid ones are full of confidence.' 'The difference between a democracy and a dictatorship is that in a democracy you vote first and take orders later; in a dictatorship you don't have to waste your... read more

Tolstoy Quote

( culture / quotes / people )
People try to do all sorts of clever and difficult things to improve life instead of doing the simplest, easiest thing -- refusing to participate in activities that make life bad. -- Leo Tolstoy NEW! Random samples of dialogue from my novels!... read more

The Device For Distraction-Free Writing

( culture / writing / tech )
Article about it here, and the manufacturer's website here.... read more

This Clever & Controversial Artwork Will Help You Think Deeper About Society

( culture / arts-crafts )
via https://themindunleashed.com/2020/08/controversial-art-think.html Art Should Comfort The Disturbed And Disturb The Comfortable...... read more

Airlines Gate Agent

( culture / humor / jokes / airlines )
An award should go to the gate agent in Denver for being smart and funny, while making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo. A crowded United Airlines flight was canceled. A single agent was ebooking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an ... read more

Einstein Quotes

( culture / quotes )
Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it is stupid. Our task as humans must be to free ourselves... by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all humanity and the whole of nature in its beauty. Blind belief... read more

The Purpose Of Communist Propaganda

( culture / quotes / conspiracies )
The purpose of communist propaganda was not to persuade or convince, not to inform, but to humiliate; and therefore, the less it corresponded to reality the better. When people are forced to remain silent when they are being told the most obvious lies, or even worse when they are forced to repeat th... read more

Kentucky Derby (2020)

( culture / sports / horseracing )
via https://www.drf.com/news/kentucky-derby-whos-hot-whos-not-aug-5-2020see Kentucky Derby 2020 Thousand Words upset Honor A. P. in the Shared Belief Stakes on Saturday at Del Mar and got a Beyer Speed Figure of 104, all of which prompted Marty McGee of Daily Racing Form to cut his odds to 12-1... read more

Transportation Jokes

( culture / humor / jokes )
New Los Angeles Driver's Exam For those not fortunate enough to live in Los Angeles, here is a copy of the Los Angeles Driver's Exam. For those of you who are, study real hard. This is a new exam. Since driving conditions (and culture) are unique in Los Angeles, you may not have realized that the ... read more

Non-Fiction 1

( culture / humor )
Five people who have a job worse than yours    The San Francisco Zoo has an elephant named Calle who has a chronicillness requiring medication. The zoo people couldn't get Calle to take her dose orally,so a California pharmacist developed a suppository. The 10-inch-long, four-pound,co... read more

Non-Fiction 2

( culture / humor )
Credit Card Bill    In March 1992 a man living in Newtown near Boston, Massachusettsreceived a bill for his as yet unused credit card stating that he owed $0.00. He ignoredit and threw it away.In April he received another and threw that one away too. Thefollowing month the credit card ... read more

Humorous Quotes

( culture / humor / quotes )
Somethin' to think about Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun. How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on. I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them. If ig ... read more

Proverbs

( culture / quotes )
Proverbs and anything else thought-provoking and/or inspirational The Fence There was a little boy with a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, to hammer a nail in the back fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Th... read more

Non-Fiction 3

( culture / humor )
How do these people survive? Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets.   "We don't have half dozen nuggets", said the teenager at the counter.   "You don't?" ... read more

Humorous Quotes, Page 2

( culture / humor / quotes )
Some Thoughts On Life Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree. There is always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it.  For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt. Reason to smile:  Every seven minutes of every day, someo... read more

Humorous Quotes, Page 3

( culture / humor / quotes )
Somethin' to think about Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun. How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on. I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them. If ig ... read more

Non-Fiction Science

( culture / humor )
Acknowledging Receipt of Australopithicus Spiff-arino The story behind the letter below is that there is a man in Newport, RI named Scott Williams who digs things out of his backyard and sends the stuff he finds to the Smithsonian Institute, labeling them with scientific names, insisting that they ... read more

Christmas Jokes

( culture / humor / jokes / christmas )
A Christmas Story One day, this past December, I was rushing around trying to get some last minute shopping done. I was stressed out and not thinking very fondly of the Christmas season right then. It was dark, cold, and wet in the parking lot as I was loading my car up with gifts I felt obligated ... read more

My Most Recent Ebooks

( culture / writing / books / novels )
Two of my ebooks are available free of charge all month (July) at Smashwords. The links are at the bottom of that page. I've already sold five copies since yesterday as opposed to five copies over the past year. I guess the price is finally right. :) Another Way: Beyond the Status Quo blu... read more

Being Bamboozled

( culture / quotes )
This is great. Pretty similar to one by Mark Twain, actually, but I am adding it here, anyway: One of the saddest lessons of history is this: If we have been bamboozled long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle. We are no longer interested in finding out the truth. The bamboo... read more

Cassette Tape Converted To MP3

( culture / music / tech )
Cool! I am getting one of these. I am including an affiliate link here. This sounds like a scam post, but I really am going to buy this! :)UPDATE: Piece of crap. Do NOT waste your time or money. There is a constant hum in the background of my sample recorded songs (side 1 of End of the Innocen... read more

Emissions Test

( culture / humor / auto )
A mostly one-way text conversation I had with my wife, Tara, yesterday while she worked and I tried to get her car emissions tested. I was laughing at my own situation after a while, wondering what could possibly go wrong next. I never did get it tested because I really did have to leave and get ... read more

Belmont Stakes To Be Run First In Triple Crown This Year

( culture / sports / horseracing )
Go to BelmontStakes.com. These are the entrants. Still more here. Horse racing fans will not be denied the Triple Crown this year, even though the order of races will be different. Instead of having the Kentucky Derby, which will take place on Sept. 5, kick off the Triple Crown schedule, the se... read more

Movies And TV Shows Filmed In Budapest

( culture / movies-tv-video )
I was researching this for my next possible novel, and thought other, better novelists might find it useful: Love and Death Etoile Music Box Howling V: The Rebirth The Cremaster Cycle Gloomy Sunday Au Pair In the Beginning An American Rhapsody Last Run Dinotopia Perlasca Un eroe Italian ... read more

The Good Old Days

( culture / writing / blog / shopping )
Ah, the good ol' days when the shelves were full! Click the image.... read more

More Advice For Writers

( culture / writing / advice )
It doesn't have to be great, but it DOES have to be FINISHED. -- William Arthur Holmes UPDATE: ...and then I saw where Lee Child had a similar but better quote: "Don't get it right, get it written!"... read more

Music By An Old Friend

( culture / music )
Terry Dan Click here for YouTube or here for Facebook.... read more

Those Who Would Give Up Essential Liberty...

( culture / quotes )
Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety. -- Benjamin Franklin NEW! Random samples of dialogue from my novels!... read more

Thoughts On Writing

( culture / writing / advice )
Louis L'Amour once said he could write while sitting in the middle of the freeway. That didn't impress me at the time, but now it does. Not one, but two dogs threw up behind me as I wrote. Was that a commentary on my writing? Wouldn't be the first time. As I told these guys in the job ... read more

Thought For Today

( culture / quotes / health / conspiracies )
It's easier to fool people than to convince them they have been fooled! -- Mark Twain NEW! Random samples of dialogue from my novels! ... read more

Humor Amid Official Overreaction

( culture / humor / jokes )
via https://www.washingtonflyfishing.com/forum/index.php?threads/155765/ Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem. I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I'm crackin ... read more

Mangled English

( culture / humor / language / english )
This is pretty old, from the old newsletter in 1992, when the Soviet Union still existed, but it's still funny How English is Being Used in Different Parts of the World IN A TOKYO HOTEL: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing please not to read notis.... read more

Bandanna Fashion

( culture / humor / fashion )
Nobody bats an eye now when I walk into a bank or store with a bandanna wrapped across my face. Of course, the gun is still a sure giveaway.... read more

Rumi Quote

( culture / quotes )
Don't grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form -- Rumi I happen to think there is nothing wrong with grieving. In fact, it is required. But I know what he's saying. -- Ed. NEW! Random samples of dialogue from my novels!... read more

Kentucky Derby Postponed

( culture / sports / horseracing )
This is a first, as far as we know. No, we didn't research it. We don't do a lot of research here. :) Anyway... The 146th Kentucky Derby will be rescheduled from May 2, 2020 to September 5, 2020. See kentuckyderby.com... read more

All Quotes

( culture / quotes )
When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad; and that is my religion. -- Abraham Lincoln We now live in a nation where doctors destroy health, lawyers destroy justice, universities destroy knowledge, governments destroy freedom, the press destroys information, religion destroys morals, a... read more

The Lazy Pug Cafe

( culture / writing / books / novels )
My latest short story, based on our real life pugs Daisy, Chandler and Joey, the latter of whom is the only one still alive and barking. See https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B085XM6QW8The Lazy Pug Cafe was a dilapidated old two-story farmhouse abandoned years ago, lately serving as a sad but charming re ... read more

Music By A Nephew (And Friends)

( culture / music )
Thomas and friends, a.k.a. OnSol are on Facebook, YouTube, BandMix, ReverbNation, and iTunes... somewhere. Cali Reggae Surf Rock Jam Band. Reggae influenced rock music you can vibe with. Conscious lyrics laid over solid beats paired with funky bass lines. Keys drop sweet bubble that sets the mood... read more

10 TV Series With Conscious Themes -- If You're Looking For Something Good

( culture / movies-tv-video )
via collective-evolution.com As the Founding Director of the Tribeca Film Festival, former Head of Content for GAIAMTV (Gaia), and now Founder and CEO of Conscious Good... See also, decent series?... read more

Music By A Brother

( culture / music )
Music by one of my brothers: 'Til the Morning Comes Old Glory... read more

Review My Books

( culture / writing / books / novels )
If you've read any of my novels, please give them a review on Amazon (click the book's image, below or on the right, then click the Write a Customer Review button on its Amazon page, to the left), on Apple Books, Kobo, Barnes & Noble, or wherever you bought it. Thanks! Leaving a review o... read more

Ronica's Maple Roasted Chicken

( culture / food-holidays / recipes )
4 large skinless chicken thighs or breasts 3 potatoes cut into chunks 1 medium onion cut into small pieces 1 bag baby carrots ¼ cup maple syrup 1 teaspoon salt ½ teaspoon pepper Combine all ingredients in roasting pan and toss to coat. Cook 40-45 minutes covered at 450 degrees. Stir... read more

Good Article About Storytelling

( culture / writing / stories )
via the-good-guy-bad-guy-myth Pop culture today is obsessed with the battle between good and evil. Traditional folktales never were. What changed?... read more

NFL Conference Championship Games

( culture / sports / football )
For the first time ever, I actually like all four of the teams left on the road to the Super Bowl: Titans v. Chiefs - Sunday at 3:05 PM EST; and, Packers v. 49ers - Sunday at 6:40 PM EST. The Titans are my current team (since I live near Nashville); I have always liked the Chiefs and Packers, for ... read more

Best Fiction Of 2019

( culture / writing / books / novels )
via Best Fiction Books 2019 The Testaments by Margaret Atwood... wins this year's Best Fiction award for her long-anticipated sequel to the dystopian classic The Handmaid's Tale. The book picks up the story 15 years after handmaid Offred's ambiguous fate in the theocratic nation of ... read more

No Annoying Prompts

( culture / writing / blog / friendsnews )
Aren't you glad we don't have any of those annoying pop-up ads asking you to join our newsletter? Ironic, isn't it, given that we are an online newsletter?Please support this website... should you be so inclined: Buy one of my books at Amazon or SmashWords, or Buy me a (virtual) cup ... read more

Best And Worst Self-Publishing Sites

( culture / writing / advice )
Good site showing who to trust (or not) when it comes to self-publishing: self-publishing-service-reviews... read more

"Listen To Old People & Hold Onto Your Idealism": World's Oldest PM Sends Advice To Youngest

( culture / writing / blog )
Malaysian leader Mahathir Mohamad, the world's oldest prime minister, has offered the world's youngest, Finland's Sanna Marin, some words of wisdom as she takes on her new role: Ask "old people" for their advice. via mahathir-marin-finland-advice ... read more

Latest Deep Thought

( culture / quotes )
One way or another in our own inimitable way, we all do to others what was done to us. -- William Arthur Holmes Wow, that was deep -- William's internal critic NEW! Random samples of dialogue from my novels!... read more

USMNT Fan-Preferred Roster

( culture / sports / soccer )
Who do you want playing right now for the US Men's national soccer team (assuming everyone's available) for a hypothetical must-win game? VOTE HERE I like this lineup, here.... read more

Support This Site

( culture / writing / blog / friendsnews )
...should you be so inclined: Buy one of my books at Amazon or SmashWords, or Buy me a (virtual) cup of coffee, or Become a patron, or Click on one of the ads sprinkled throughout the site. Thanks!... read more

How To Support This Website

( culture / writing / blog / friendsnews )
...should you be so inclined: Buy one of my books at Amazon or SmashWords, or Buy me a (virtual) cup of coffee, or Become a patron, or Click on one of the ads sprinkled throughout the site. Thanks!... read more

Joke Images

( culture / humor / jokes )
All joke images on this siteAll joke images ... read more

Get Into Farming

( culture / humor / jokes )
Some bad language, but funny. Get Into Farming... read more

Random Observations

( culture / humor / blog )
Miscellaneous Had alarm set for 4:15a.m., but the trash collectors in the alley behind my hotel thought 3:30 would be better. At the airport, I was busted for trying to sneak contraband mouthwash and sweet tea through security OK how are you supposed to cut a mango? No idea. How's this for a... read more

History Of Friendsnews.com

( culture / writing / blog / friendsnews )
FYI for those researching insignificant corners of the web: Wayback MachinePlease support this website... should you be so inclined: Buy one of my books at Amazon or SmashWords, or Buy me a (virtual) cup of coffee, or Become a patron, or Click on one of the ads sprinkled throughout the site. Th... read more

All Of My Books

( culture / writing / books / novels )
See Novels/Novellas Featured book deals on Smashwords Over the past year, I've made updates and/or corrections to most if not all of my novels (listed below). According to Amazon, You should get automatic updates if 1) your device is connected to wireless internet (Wi-Fi), and 2) you turn on a... read more

Memes About Memes

( culture / humor / internet )
A couple of good ones. one two... read more

British Problems

( culture / humor )
Stumbled upon this and thought I'd share. Here's a sample... Look, buddy, I get it . You have a Ferrari and you "wanna go fast" like Ricky Bobby but maybe central fcking London isn't the place for you.Phone doctors at 7.59 "surgery is closed" Phone doctors at 8.00 & ... read more

Knots By Anna Nalick

( culture / music )
Wow, great vocals. My current favorite UPDATE: Here it is at YouTube. Maybe one of these links (here or here) will work for you if you have Amazon Prime.... read more

Derby This Saturday

( culture / sports / horseracing )
Here are my picks for Saturday's Kentucky Derby: WIN - Cutting Humor (because I have that); PLACE - Country House (because I want that); and SHOW - War of Will (because I'm going through that with our daughter).... read more

Restroom Difficulty

( culture / humor / employment )
Don't you hate it when you're at work? The end. Wait, that's not the end. You're at work - on the bottom floor, because that's where the snack machine is - and you decide to use the restroom. The cleaning lady is in there, with her cart blocking the door. So, you take the stairs ... read more

Mongolian Throat Singing

( culture / music )
This (Wolf Totem by The HU) is wild. Surprisingly catchy... and a little bit scary. My daughter says it sounds like it's from a horror movie. :)... read more

Leaving Zazzle

( culture / arts-crafts )
Here's my goodbye letter to Zazzle. Yes, it's awfully bitter and conspiracy theory-ish, but I was upset. :) Your new policy sucks, big time. And when I tried to create something new before the deadline after which they start charging monthly fees, it was so freaking difficult to post ... read more

Good Album

( culture / music )
Dido's latest (here) is pretty good, FYI, if you generally like her music.... read more

DIY Arts And Crafts

( culture / arts-crafts )
If you've ever felt the need to do it yourself when it came to one of your crafty/artsy ideas, you might try CafePress and make something exactly as you want it. Yes, we'll get a small commission.... read more

The Rainbow Ends In Sacramento

( culture / sports / humor / photography )
The rainbow really does end in Sacramento! My nephew Milan has captured proof. :) This was taken at their minor league team, Sacramento Rivercats, stadium where Milan works. Speaking of Sacramento, here's a list of famous people from there (because we know you were wondering): William Arthur... read more

Operation Detour

( culture / writing / books / novels )
Riva, a beautiful young black ops agent on her first assignment, tries to turn Alex into her own asset just to prove she can. When he loses both his job and his girlfriend, she thinks he's putty in her hands. When he decides to go out with a bang, she's afraid she's overplayed her ha ... read more

Temporary Insanity

( culture / writing / books / novels )
Long before winning the lottery and running for president, Benny was living in L.A. working as a temporary word processor (typist). For his latest assignment, he thought he was taking just another temp job. He didn't anticipate Venelia and the Dynamos. The what? Click here for more. Or, in thi ... read more

Last Train Out

( culture / writing / books / novels )
Last Train Out. hrefhttps://smile.amazon.com/dp/B01GNA3LI8 Also available on ... read more

Dance

( culture / dance-stage )
via Puttin' on the Ritz in MoscowHundreds of dancers joined together in Moscow on 26.02.2012 to perform together a great flashmob of...... read more

Crafts

( culture / arts-crafts )
Crafts by FriendsNews members Jana's Palickovanie art ... read more

Quotes On Religion

( culture / quotes / religion )
When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad; and that is my religion." -- Abraham Lincoln When Gandhi was asked his opinion of Western civilization he said, It would be a good idea. Heaven is by favor. If it were by merit, your dog would go in and you would stay out. -- Ma... read more

Movies-TV

( culture / movies-tv-video )
Movies-TV stuff Good quasi-clay-mation video Great first video from several years ago by my niece here: Y19zSl2q5iQ. Her current YouTube channel is here: ... read more Indian flick with subtitles So, I'm selecting a movie to watch on Netflix. I see "Holiday A Soldier Is Never Off Duty&quo... read more

1-2-3 Day!

( culture / writing / blog / numbers )
Today is 1-2-3 day! January 23. Exciting, right? Just think, twenty-six years from today it'll be 1-2-3-4-5 day! I'll probably be dead by then, but somebody will enjoy it!... read more

Recently-Discovered Book Repository

( culture / writing / books )
Hathi Trust Digital Library: hathitrust.org... read more

Couple Of Good Ones

( culture / humor / jokes )
OK, three good ones. and and, this just in, something to settle the argument... ... read more

How To Move A Book Store

( culture / writing / books )
Cool! Human-chain-helps-British-book-store-move-down-the-street ... read more

Operation Detour (Facebook)

( culture / writing / books / novels )
via https://www.facebook.com/operationdetourbookOperation Detour book on Facebook Over the past year, I've made updates and/or corrections to most if not all of my novels (listed below). According to Amazon, You should get automatic updates if 1) your device is connected to wireless internet (Wi-... read more

Kentucky Derby

( culture / sports / horseracing )
via https://kentuckyderby.com... read more

Taking The Stairs

( culture / humor )
Don't you hate it when you're taking the stairs, looking down because it's a struggle, you think you've reached your floor only to look up and see you've got two more to go? Working on the third floor is rough!... read more

Best Thrillers Of All-Time

( culture / writing / books / novels )
According to the Telegraph, anyway. An interesting list. Several if not most of these were that author's first published novel. I've actually read half of these, though it's been years. I should read them again. The Manchurian Candidate by Richard Condon (1959) The Hunt for ... read more

Worrying Works!

( culture / humor / jokes )
Worrying must work, because everything I worry about ends up not happening!... read more

Novels/Novellas

( culture / writing / books / novels )
Did I mention I've written a few novels/novellas? Another Way: Beyond the Status Quo A politically-incorrect manifesto. Anti-corporate crusader Dobie Pokorny wants to save the world. His old boss, Colonel Charonne, wants to stop him. On his truth tour, Dobie meets and falls in love with Kaylie w... read more

USB Turntable

( culture / music / tech )
I'm buying one of these: USB turntable. I've been wanting to convert my old vinyl records to MP3 for quite a while now. I hope it works! UPDATE: I wish I'd read this first: cnet.com/news/usb-turntables-worst-ever-audio-product/... read more

Good Quasi-Claymation Video

( culture / movies-tv-video )
Great first video by my niece (from several years ago when she was just a kid) here: Ellie's Adventures. She's all grown up now, and her current YouTube channel is here.... read more

Quote On Tolerance

( culture / quotes )
Total tolerance is not a virtue, it is a total lack of principles." - Plainsman 2016 And here are a couple more... Never trust a republican with your PUBLIC LAND. Never trust a democrat with your FIREARMS. -- Bernie Kuntz 2016 To one who has faith, no explanation is necessary. To one wit... read more

Too Funny

( culture / humor )
This is too funny not to share. See German man's car found 20 years after he lost it in parking garage. Almost every driver has been there - when parking in a large lot or garage, it can be easy to misplace a car. But while most drivers locate their cars after a frustrating few minutes, one G... read more

Trail Of Blood

( culture / humor / blog )
Walking in from the parking lot into work this morning, on the sidewalk I saw what looked like a trail of blood. There was a big spot of it at the top of the sidewalk, and it dwindled as it continued downhill toward the front door. What the...? This building is out in the middle of formerly beautifu... read more

Cats Disrespecting Pugs

( culture / writing / pets )
So, I'm lying on the bed with the pug Joey between my legs. No, that's not a figure of speech. I'm referring to an actual dog. Anyway, the cat comes up, thinks about jumping across my legs to the other side, then decides to just step on me, then step on Joey, to the other side of the bed ... read more

Lesson On Taxes

( culture / quotes / humor )
The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream. - Bill Murray NEW! Random samples of dialogue from my novels!... read more

Another Great Quote

( culture / quotes )
"The bankers own the Earth. Take it away from them, but leave them the power to create money, and with the flick of the pen they will create enough deposits to buy it back again. However, take away from them the power to create money and all the great fortunes like mine will disappear and they ... read more

Natalia Holmes Photography And Videos

( culture / photography )
Natalia Holmes travel photography and videography on YouTube, InstaGram and Pinterest.... read more

Diary, 7/29/2017

( culture / writing / blog / diary )
I just went down the road to the quickie-mart and got coffee. It's something I do most every weekend morning since throwing away my home coffee maker to keep me from drinking too much of it. On the way there, I saw what I thought was a dead turtle in the road. I hate that. Poor things just can&#... read more

Novellas And Novels

( culture / writing / books / novels )
Free novella Temporary Insanity Long before winning the lottery and running for president, Benny was living in L.A. working as a temporary word processor (glorified typist). For his latest assignment, he thought he was taking just another temp job. He didn't anticipate Venelia and the Dynamos. ... read more

Please Patronize Me

( culture / writing / blog / friendsnews )
Check out my Patreon page. Patrons get free stuff! Well, not technically free since you do have to pay at least $1 to get anything. Still ... It would be amazing if I had any fans at all to help finance what I do! Thank you for (possibly) being one. ... read more

Couch Potato

( culture / writing / blog )
I've been a couch potato all day. Well, most of the day. I did finally pull up the dead crops in the vegetable garden at one point. And I did do some recycling, taking the paper, bottles, cans and plastic bags out of the trash cans and putting it into the appropriate recycle bins in the garage... read more

Indian Flick With Subtitles

( culture / movies-tv-video )
So, I'm selecting a movie to watch on Netflix. I see "Holiday: A Soldier Is Never Off Duty". It's Indian, with subtitles, but it's in the category of Action/Adventure. The blurb says "Capt. Bakshi sets out to stop a network of terrorist sleeper cells!" So, I give it a... read more

Netflix Subgenres

( culture / movies-tv-video )
How to find those hard-to-find movies and TV shows on Netflix:Netflix codes UPDATE: Not sure this works.... read more

Folding Clothes

( culture / writing / blog )
I thought I'd watch some sports while folding clothes (making up for my complete lack of doing chores yesterday). My choices were NBA basketball (where travelling is only called after 6 or 7 steps), bull riding (where I just feel sorry for the bulls), or a dog show (where I just couldn't car... read more

Airlines Misbehaving

( culture / writing / blog / airlines )
United Airlines says "Thank you, American Airlines, now everyone finally knows we're not the ONLY aholes!" Yes, the woman was apparently belligerent (just like United's victim), but these so-called professionals need to be a LOT more professional.... read more

Another Page Of Mine

( culture / writing / blog / friendsnews )
It's a site called Patreon where they help creative people find patrons to support their work. My page is here: Patreon It would be amazing if I had any fans at all to help finance what I do! Thank you for (possibly) being one. p.s. - The 'Inpsiration' typo is theirs, not mine. Please... read more

Wife's Jetta

( culture / humor / transportation )
Driving wife's Jetta while my car gets serviced. I called it a piece of $h! while I tried to climb out. Its door hit me in the forehead during the struggle. So, I guess we're even.... read more

If A Man Speaks In The Forest...

( culture / humor / jokes )
Joke we heard Lee Child telling (though we're fairly sure he's not the author)... If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear it, is he still wrong? ... read more

Putting Words In Mark Twain's Mouth

( culture / quotes )
Nice list: Putting Words in Mark Twain's Mouth I wonder if any of these are on that list NEW! Random samples of dialogue from my novels!... read more

One Of The All-Time Great Rock Era Lyricists

( culture / music )
Listening to Don Henley this morning. He is one of the all-time great lyricists/poets. Just thought I'd say so. Then Don McLean came on, so ... ?? Of course, they can both be among the greatest, but Henley is probably THE greatest.... read more

Action Films On Netflix

( culture / movies-tv-video / humor )
Almost half of all action films on Netflix have a variation of this description: "He thought he was retired, but has to do One. Last. Job!... read more

Local Pick Up

( culture / writing / blog / shopping )
Just ordered a $10 item on eBay. They offered "Local Pick Up in Las Vegas, Nevada" versus delivering it. I live in Nashville. I need to decide if it's worth driving out there. Suggestions?... read more

My English Premier League Team

( culture / sports / soccer )
Trying to decide which English Premier League team I should consider "my team." Very important. Leaning toward either Liverpool FC (because I always liked the Beatles) or Plymouth Argyle Football Club (because my first car was a Plymouth, and I always liked the idea of Argyle socks but was... read more

Writers Need Followers?

( culture / writing / advice )
Publishers and writing "gurus" preach that writers need followers. The problem is that emotionally-stable people don't want followers, they want friends, compatriots, people who listen, not followers. Especially zombie followers. They're the worst! :)... read more

Out Of Toothpaste

( culture / humor / blog )
Me (joking, the other day): I'm out of toothpaste! Whaddaya gonna do about it? Wife (without missing a beat): Find a husband with toothpaste, I guess. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I married her. :) And that's why I'm at the store right now, buying toothpaste. ... read more

Is There A Decent Series Available Online?

( culture / movies-tv-video )
Is there a single, decent series available online that isn't depraved; you know, doesn't involve zombies or some sort of depressing, apocalyptic, loser view of the world? Just wondering. Thanks.UPDATE: ... and three years later, we have an answer! See something good UPDATE: Just thought I ... read more

Fence Guy

( culture / writing / blog )
So, the wife texts me saying, "Fence guy quoted $35500 to do the fence. He's coming out Wednesday." This is a fence repair for a small backyard, not a new thousand acre fence. Me: "How much?!" Wife (paraphrasing): "Oops, I left out the decimal point!... read more

Last Train Out (Again)

( culture / writing / books / novels )
Clay and his adopted daughter, Jenna, look forward to their upcoming homeland tour to Russia. His intentions are pure. Hers, not so much. When she goes missing, his worst fears are realized. She is not the innocent little girl he thought she was. Not even close. Their only hope now is to catch ... read more

Dolphins Speak In Holographic Language

( culture / language / animals )
Very cool! via scientists-reveal-that-dolphins-speak-in-a-holographic-language/ UPDATE:The commenters are mostly unconvinced.... read more

Awkward

( culture / humor )
Can you say awkward? So, I'm walking back from feeding the neighbor's dog while they're on vacation. I see my wife and daughter in the car up ahead, just about to turn onto our street. I'm looking at them. They're looking at me (or at least it feels like it). They're still... read more

Recent Tweets

( culture / writing / tweets )
I remember when I didn't know what a tweet was, other than the sound a bird makes. It wasn't so long ago, either. Below is just a random list of tweets. Pathetic, I know, but I felt the need to put something new on the site. Anyway... Saturday, July 20, 2013:   Picked more blackberri... read more

Cereal

( culture / humor )
I think I'm addicted to cereal, I said. Addicted? she asked. Yeah, I'm gonna hit the street looking for my latest fix. And by 'street,' you mean Aisle 3 at Kroger, right? Don't question my street cred!... read more

No More Penalty Shootouts!

( culture / sports / soccer )
I'm a huge soccer fan, but absolutely hate penalty shootouts. That is no way to decide a game. The winning team needs to be determined by playing the game, not through penalty kicks. That's like deciding an American football game by having five or six players from each team line up and kic... read more

American Pharoah Vs. Secretariat, Who Would Win?

( culture / sports / horseracing )
Interesting!The 2015 Triple Crown winner American Pharoah ran the sixth-fastest Belmont Stakes ever, but if he was racing against Secretariat's record time in 1973, he would have been a distant second. Watch the two races side-by-side.Source: American Pharoah vs. Secretariat: Who Would Win? ... read more

All-Time Favorite Songs

( culture / music )
Or, what I'd want on my MP3 player if stuck on a deserted island (with rechargeable batteries and a solar-powered battery charger). A bunch of songs have been left off simply because they've been played to death. Some songs are on here simply because I like (try) to sing along, or maybe it h... read more

The Road To The Kentucky Derby (2015)

( culture / sports / horseracing )
The 20 three-year-olds to make the starting gate in the Kentucky Derby are determined by the Road to the Kentucky Derby, a series of races leading up to the Derby where contenders can earn points. Follow the leaderboard to see who will make the starting gate on the first Saturday in May. Source: ... read more

My Novels

( culture / writing / books / novels )
See Novels/NovellasFeatured book deals on Smashwords or go to Another peak at my books Over the past year, I've made updates and/or corrections to most if not all of my novels (listed below). According to Amazon, You should get automatic updates if 1) your device is connected to wireless internet ... read more

American Racehorse, Cigar, Dies At Age 24

( culture / sports / horseracing )
Sad news. He was one of the greats. We saw him in retirement at Kentucky Horse Park several years ago. via Cigar, American racehorse, dies at age of 24. The two-time United States horse of the year won 16 consecutive races during 1995 and 96, including the inaugural Dubai World Cup. Cigar event... read more

Forrest Gump Quote

( culture / quotes )
Just because it made me laugh out loud ... Jenny: Do you ever dream, Forrest, about who you're gonna be? Forrest: Who I'm gonna be? Jenny: Yeah. Forrest: Aren't I going to be me? via Forrest Gump. NEW! Random samples of dialogue from my novels!... read more

Photography

( culture / photography )
Some interesting photography-related links here Wallpapers collected over the years. If you are the photographer/owner and want your photo removed, just let us know. Dreamstime Getty Images John Martell ... read more

Parents Code Of Ethics

( culture / humor / sports )
Signing my daughter up for softball, I just had to laugh at this (stripped down) Parents Code of Ethics: I will encourage good sportsmanship I will place the emotional and physical well-being of my child ahead of my personal desire to win. I will remember that the game is for the youth - not ad... read more

World Cup 2014

( culture / sports / soccer )
I love World Cup soccer (football/futbol to most of the world), so life is good now with all the games on. I'm ticked at ABC/ESPN for limiting all USA games to ESPN, which I can't see because we don't subscribe to cable TV. Of course, they do that to force people like me to subscribe, ... read more

Catfish

( culture / writing / stories )
from 1994, © 1994 by Eric McGovern It was a warm, humid night, as are most nights of August in Bay St. Louis, Mississippi. It was ten p.m. and, as I loaded my fishing gear into my truck and looked up at the full moon, I was getting anxious to fish. I started up the truck, drove about three ... read more

Kangaroos Attacked Me

( culture / writing / stories )
from 1993 by Greg - not really There I was in Long Beach, California, having lunch down along the docks like I always do. It was a cool Autumn day, early November. I was watching the ships roll in ... then I'd watch 'em roll away again. Whoa-wo sittin' on the dock of the bay ... read more

Remmy Gets Gas

( culture / writing / stories )
from July 1990 by Bill Remmy pulled into the gas station and jumped out of his pickup. He went to the rear of the truck, checked his reflection in the camper shell window, smiled, and slid the gas nozzle into the tank. He left the pump on automatic and wandered over to a soda machine sitting n ... read more

Requiem For A Pigeon

( culture / writing / poetry )
by Bill We witnessed a pigeon's demise Right here on the dock o' the Bay There was nothing we could do Nothing we could say It just wasn't the pigeon's day We tried mouth-to-beak And the Heimlich technique But the pigeon had croaked Did you know pigeons float? Well, this on ... read more

So Much For Sacrificial Rites

( culture / writing / stories / humor )
from February 1990 The High Priest announced, We must sacrifice a human life tonight. The crowd of Mibuku natives milling around the fire immediately tensed and fell silent. Suddenly, the High Priest pointed his holy finger at a lowly servant fanning the Queen. The servant shrieked. Royal guar ... read more

Aliens Spoke To Me

( culture / writing / stories )
from 1993 I just started driving. I don't know why. Boredom, I guess. I left my house around noon. I'd had enough of watching football on t.v. and just felt like getting out. When I hopped into my truck I had no idea where I might go. East, I thought. To the desert, maybe. See the deser ... read more

Devastating Earthquake Rocks Southland

( culture / writing / stories )
from 1993 © copyright 1993 A powerful earthquake measuring 8.3 on the Richter Scale brought Southern California to its knees just before dawn yesterday. Hundreds of buildings in the greater Los Angeles area were completely destroyed, dozens more rendered uninhabitable. L.A.'s newly-compl... read more

California Chrome, A Horse Of A Uniting Color

( culture / sports / horseracing )
They have a 77-year-old trainer who thought his big-time days were over, and a jockey who grew up afraid of horses.They pulled California Chrome's name out of Coburn's cowboy hat. If not for the luck of the draw the horse could have been named Seabisquick. California Chrome a horse of a uni... read more

Advice For Writing

( culture / writing / advice )
A writer's narrative perspective (their voice, or, how they come across to their reader) must be: This is me talking to you.That's it. Nothing more, nothing less.It's not: This is me 100 years ago speaking in a classical voice.It's not: Speaking as if from professor to student or... read more

Hollywood Park, What A Run It Had!

( culture / sports / horseracing )
Today (December 22, 2013) is the last day of racing at Hollywood Park before it's torn down. It's sad, but that part of town has been the 'hood for several decades now, so it's no surprise no one wanted to go there.I worked there once, briefly, with the harness horses. It was back ... read more

Tweets

( culture / writing / tweets )
My Twitter feed: by @TheBillHolmes Some of my better tweets, according to me ... Never work FOR someone else, work WITH them. I do some of my best work when I'm supposed to be doing something else. Elizabeth this AM: Dad, can you get my other shoe outside? It's frozen to the ground! ... read more

My Twitter Feed

( culture / writing / tweets )
Tweets by @TheBillHolmes And if the network you're on has Twitter blocked, but you're Jonesing for more of my witty banter, here are some of my favorites.... read more

Mucho Macho Man Grooves To His Song

( culture / sports / horseracing )
Breeder's Cup Classic winner Mucho Macho Man grooves to his song. It was apparently removed (probably due to copyright issues), but here's the horse winning that race, and the Village People singing that song, anyway! UPDATE: 2013 Breeders' Cup Classic - Mucho Macho Man - 3:15 The Village Pe... read more

This Is Deep

( culture / humor / internet )
I just had to share this comment someone left here on FriendsNews.com. Read it, absorb it, digest it, lather, rinse and repeat it. Then let me know what the %$# it means! Here it is: I comprehend that is genuinely uninteresting and you're merely skipping to the next comment, nonetheless i basi ... read more

Good Start

( culture / sports / football )
The NFL got off to a good start today (2013-09-10), the first real games of the season. Both of my teams, the Tennessee Titans and San Francisco 49ers, won! The Titans were a surprise over the Steelers. The Niners won as expected even though they were playing the Packers. Normally, I'd be... read more

Aesop Quote

( culture / quotes )
We hang the petty thieves, and appoint the great ones to public office. - Aesop... read more

Movie Night

( culture / movies-tv-video )
My wife and I have been celebrating our twelfth wedding anniversary this weekend. The actual day was the 22nd (so mark your calendars for next year's gifts). :) With our daughter on a sleepover at a friend's house last night, Tara and I went to see the movie The Butler. It has the director&#... read more

Travers Stakes (2013)

( culture / sports / horseracing )
Several big name horses in it this year: Verrazano, Haskell winner Palace Malice, Belmont and Jim Dandy winner Orb, Kentucky Derby winner And here's a listing of ALL the races at Saratoga.The Travers is Race 12.... read more

How Does Writing Affect Your Brain?

( culture / writing / health )
How Does Writing Affect Your Brain? infographic.Interesting ... to me, anyway. Most of us write a little something everyday. It might be a grocery list, a poem, or a write-up on the infographic of the day. As we go through this daily ritual, however, we are probably not aware of the effects writi... read more

Alan Shore's "Stick It!" Speech

( culture / movies-tv-video )
Alan Shore's closing argument (from Boston Legal) Alan Shore: When the weapons of mass destruction thing turned out to be not true, I expected the American people to rise up. Ha! They didn't. Then, when the Abu Ghraib torture thing surfaced and it was revealed that our government partic... read more

Just Another Sunday

( culture / writing / blog / shopping )
Wife and kid are off at this thing called church. Maybe you've heard of it. I'm not familiar. Not sure what to make of it. :)I'm basically just hanging out waiting for the new mattress to be delivered. We told the delivery guy, Anytime! He sounded foreign. I hope he shows up before 1... read more

Lies Lies Lies

( culture / music / conspiracies )
Lyrics from a Frank Zappa song: You will obey me while I lead you And eat the garbage that I feed you Until the day that we don't need you Don't go for hel...no one will heed you Your mind is totally controlled It has been stuffed into my mold And you will do as you are told Until t ... read more

Started A New Story Today

( culture / writing / stories / novels )
I started writing a new story today. Can't say much about it except that it's pretty much sci-fi, though it might wander into religion and politics. So, yeah, it should offend just about everyone.Then I took a break and started cleaning. Did a load of dishes. Vacuumed and cleaned the office ... read more

About My Books

( culture / writing / books / novels )
Go to williamarthurholmes.com Another Way -- Last Train Out -- Clay and his adopted daughter, Jenna, look forward to their upcoming homeland tour to Russia. His intentions are pure. Hers, not so much. When she goes missing, his worst fears are realized. She is not the innocent little girl h ... read more

Cracking Up Over Lottery President

( culture / writing / books / novels )
Here's one of my brothers reading my book, Lottery President. He seems to be enjoying it. I swear I didn't pay him to do this. New book out!Here's my Amazon Author's Page, where you can find both the paperback and Kindle versions of Lottery President and Operation Detour of your own ... read more

Lottery President

( culture / writing / books / novels )
For most people, winning $300 million in the lottery would be enough. They would buy a big house, travel the world and retire. Not Benny. He decided to take the money and run ... for President. The house he had in mind was the White House. He didn't want to travel the world so much as save it . ... read more

New Washer

( culture / writing / blog / appliances )
The new washer was delivered today. I let them take the old one away even though we'd just bought it (used) a week ago. That's right, it lasted just one week. Oh well, we didn't really need that $200 (after tax and delivery), anyway. </sarcasm> I say let them take it because ... read more

Getting Used To Having No TV

( culture / movies-tv-video )
I'm slowly but surely getting used to having no TV in the house. It's been about a week now. I still get all the local news headlines by following those channels through Facebook. And the only thing I ever watched on Roku - with what little time our daughter allowed us to watch anything other than h... read more

Guest Posting

( culture / writing / blog / friendsnews )
I've been following and listening to Jeff Goins's TribeWriters program, and he says an important aspect to successful blogging (at least as far as getting noticed) is to guest post on other people's blogs. Jeff is a great resource, by the way. So, if you want to post something on my b... read more

No More TV

( culture / movies-tv-video )
We've turned off, unplugged and hidden the TVs from ourselves! The plan is to keep it that way throughout the summer. We'll see how long it lasts. :) Something tells me we'll be cheating by watching more stuff on our computers. Still, I expect us all to be just a little bit smarter bec... read more

I Am Now A Published Author

( culture / writing / books / novels )
OK, so it's SELF-published, but still ... :) It's called Lottery President. Hopefully, it's at least slightly entertaining. Tell a friend! Here's one of my brothers reading it. He seems to be enjoying it. I swear I didn't pay him to do this. Here's a link to all of my bo... read more

Derby Results (2013)

( culture / sports / horseracing )
Florida Derby winner Orb won today's Kentucky Derby in the slop. But you've probably already heard/read about it. My pick, Revolutionary, finished 3rd. That was better than my picks have done in other years. It's a good thing I didn't places any bets ... as usual. Gambling almost never works for m... read more

Blog Content

( culture / writing / blog / internet )
I'm as guilty as anyone about trying to add content to my blog just for the sake of content (because search engines look for and rate highly based on how fresh your blog's content is). But someone whose blog/newsletter I subscribe to has stooped to simply stating the obvious, maybe phrasin... read more

Kentucky Derby-Related Pages (2013)

( culture / sports / horseracing )
Where to keep up or catch up on the upcoming Derby: espn.go.com/horse-racing/triplecrown2013/ Kentuckyderby.com/horses hrtv.com/2013-Kentucky-derby/ bloodhorse.com/horse-racing/triple-crown and possibly tvg.com/ ... read more

Great Suction!

( culture / writing / blog )
In preparation for the much-anticipated Comcast installation (Internet, not TV), I do as they suggest and clear out a space where I want them to put the cable wall jack. Once I have that space cleared, I decide to vacuum the area. It's almost an instinctive reaction: You clear out a space that hasn'... read more

Doing The Dishes

( culture / humor / blog )
So, my wife tells me most people do the dishes every day. I don't believe her. Every day? I ask.Yes, every day, she says.Every single day? I persist. She nods. You don't mean, I search for clarification, it's something that is an 'every day' thing, but in reality is not ... read more

Happy May Day

( culture / food-holidays / employment )
from Liberty Underground... Today, May Day, honors the workers who produce all of the wealth. It is in honor of those involved in a general strike in Chicago, killed by police in what is known all over the world by workers as the Haymarket massacre. Ironically, Americans are kept ignorant by a sch... read more

Tried To Mow The Lawn

( culture / writing / blog / garden )
Well, I tried to mow the lawn, but the lawnmower wouldn't start. I swear. :) It's probably all clogged up from sitting there unused all winter. It was a hand-me-down mower, anyway, probably in need of replacing, but that's just not in the budget right now. Actually, the yard looks bett... read more

Road To The Triple Crown (2013)

( culture / sports / horseracing )
The Triple Crown 2013 - ESPN.I always try and follow these preludes to the Kentucky Derby so that I have at least an educated guess on Derby Day.... read more

The Digital Story Of The Nativity

( culture / food-holidays / christmas )
This is the Christmas story as told through Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Google, Wikipedia, Google Maps, GMail, Foursquare, Amazon... ad infinitum. See YouTube - THE DIGITAL STORY OF THE NATIVITY. And, for a miniseries on the subject, go to: The Bible: The Epic Miniseries... read more

Cleanliness Counts

( culture / humor / pets )
Click on this link to clean the inside of your screen: yahelite.org/lol/screenclean.swf... read more

So God Made A Dog

( culture / humor / pets )
I love this. via So God made a dog And on the 9th day God looked down on his children and said they need a companion, so God Made A Dog. Paul Harvey-style tribute to dogs. ... read more

Your Novel Blueprint

( culture / writing / advice / novels )
Good article for writers. via Your Novel Blueprint  WritersDigest.com Writing a novel and building a house are pretty similar when you think about it. For instance, most builders or homeowners spend a lot of time dreaming ...Featured book deals on Smashwords or go to Another peak at my books ... read more

My Writer's Platform

( culture / writing / books )
WilliamArthurHolmes.com is my writer's platform, with a page showing where you can buy, preview and/or review all of my books. Or, just look below... Where to buy, preview or review my books ANOTHER WAY: Beyond the Status Quo Amazon, Apple Books, Barnes & Noble, Good Rea... read more

Fooling Themselves

( culture / writing / blog / politics )
The "elites" are adept at fooling themselves into thinking they know best.This superiority that they bestow upon themselves is a convenient justification for keeping us commoners in the dark, and keeping themselves in power.... read more

A Couple Of Books Novellas On Kindle

( culture / writing / books / novels )
I've published a couple of books/novellas on Kindle recently: Lottery President is a political thriller; and Operation Detour is a darkly comedic adventure (or, the first half of it here, free). Please tell a friend, so maybe I can do this for a living instead of working for one soul-suckin ... read more

How Hubbard And Rand Got Their Ideas

( culture / humor / jokes )
According to this video, this must be how it happened. ... read more

Quote Of The Day (7/14/2012)

( culture / quotes )
The War on Terror(TM) is a product. It doesn't exist 'to keep us safe'; on the contrary, it exists to keep us in a state of fear. - Liberty Underground News Service NEW! Random samples of dialogue from my novels!... read more

Diary, 7/2/2012

( culture / writing / blog / diary )
It almost rained today. I know, exciting. Apparently, it did rain pretty hard in some places, but not here on the south side. Hopefully, by this time next week it will have rained several times. The possibility is in the forecast, anyway. Just trying to keep my crops healthy. As Mark Twain... read more

Diary, 6/30/2012

( culture / writing / blog / diary )
It's supposed to be record heat again today. Yesterday was 109F degrees, which is unheard of in Nashville. Today is supposed to be 107F. I've already watered my fruit trees and vegetable garden in the backyard this morning. Yesterday when I came home from work, the garden was literally wilte ... read more

Quote Of The Day (6/25/2012)

( culture / quotes )
To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize. - Voltaire Good quote, but apparently not spoken by Voltaire.See https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid20120826085842AAwFmIv NEW! Random samples of dialogue from my novels!... read more

Artwork

( culture / arts-crafts )
Artwork we found interesting enough to mention here! :) Julian Beever's Sidewalk Art Art by Will Gray Edwards Jana's Palickovanie Some VERY cool animation! ... read more

Writing

( culture / writing )
Writers on the subject of writing My author's page Books Jokes Poetry Short Stories Last Train Out - Electronic versions, Paperback Lottery President - Kindle, Paperback Operation Detour - Kindle, Paperback Temporary Insanity - PDF My Amazon author's page My Goodreads page M... read more

Surfer Catches Biggest Wave, Ever, Off Portugal

( culture / sports )
Surfer catches 'biggest wave ever' off PortugalSurfer catches 'biggest wave ever' off Portugal (video)... read more

Puttin' On The Ritz In Moscow

( culture / dance-stage )
Puttin' on the Ritz in Moscow... read more

Bureaucracy At Its Worst Legal Argument At Its Best

( culture / humor )
Bureaucracy at its worst, legal argument at its bestPart of rebuilding New Orleans caused residents often to be challenged with the task of tracing home titles back potentially hundreds of years.. With a community rich with history stretching back over two centuries, houses have been passed along th... read more

Kite Flying

( culture / writing / blog )
As it turned out, today was a good day for kite flying. Elizabeth, 6, had been bugging me about flying her new kite since returning from the vet this morning. We had brought all three pugs in to see Dr. Paula: Daisy due to recurrent painful skin irritations, which magically disappeared by the time D... read more

Brisnet Top 10 Kentucky Derby Contenders (2011)

( culture / sports / horseracing )
Brisnet Top 10 Kentucky Derby ContendersHere's the current year's: Kentuckyderby.com/horses/leaderboard ... read more

Great Commercial

( culture / movies-tv-video )
Commercial from Taiwan, for all you bikers out there, young and old:Dream Rangers... read more

Kentucky Oaks & Derby (2011)

( culture / sports / horseracing )
Kentucky Oaks & Derby (2011)Time to start watching the races leading up to the Kentucky Derby so I have a clue who to bet on on Derby Day, May 7th.2011 Kentucky Oaks & Derby  May 6 and 7, 2011  Tickets, Events, News.... read more

What A Split Second Looks Like

( culture / photography )
Click here This is exactly what you would think a split second would look like.... read more

Events At Mpact Sports

( culture / sports )
For those in middle Tennessee: Events at Mpact. Elizabeth used to go here for gymnastics. They are a great bunch of people.... read more

Free Monty Python Videos On YouTube Lead To 23

( culture / movies-tv-video )
Free Monty Python videos on YouTube lead to 23,000% DVD sale increaseFree Monty Python Videos on Youtube Lead to 23,000% DVD Sale Increase We're letting you see absolutely everything for free. So there! But we want something in return. None of your driveling, mindless comments. Instead, we want... read more

New Rules For Writers

( culture / writing / advice )
Anis Shivani: New Rules For Writers: Ignore Publicity, Shun Crowds, Refuse Recognition And More. These rules totally go against every prescription for writing success you'll hear as a young new writer from all quarters: the conformity-driven MFA system, the publishing industry's hype... read more

Fox Shoots Hunter In Belarus

( culture / sports / hunting )
Hooray for the fox! via Fox shoots hunter in Belarus A wounded fox shot its would-be killer in Belarus by pulling the trigger on the hunter's gun as the pair scuffled after the man tried to finish the animal off with the butt of the rifle ...... read more

Happy New Year

( culture / food-holidays )
New Year Countdown Singapore, New Year Celebrations Kick Off Worldwide.... read more

Sold Another Bumper Sticker

( culture / humor )
Man, that's three this year. At a dollar apiece, I'm gonna be rich! :) UPDATE: That was at Zazzle, but now I recommend CafePress (once it's set up).... read more

Fastest Trooper

( culture / humor / jokes )
Montana State Trooper In most of the United States there is a policy of checking on any stalled vehicle on the highway when temperatures drop to single digits or below. About 3 a.m. one very cold morning, Montana State Trooper Allan Nixon responded to a call.There was a car off the shoulder of the ... read more

Greeting Cards By Natalia Holmes

( culture / arts-crafts )
Greeting Cards by Natalia Holmes, my niece. NOTE: She no longer does this. ... read more

Television

( culture / movies-tv-video )
When I wasn't working on computers this weekend, I was trying to get the new used television working in the bedroom. Prior to even having a new used TV, I was thinking about finally breaking down and getting a digital converter box for our existing analog just so we could watch broadcast TV ... read more

Doormats With A Difference

( culture / humor / jokes )
All joke images ... read more

Zenyatta Lost

( culture / sports / horseracing )
Zenyatta lost by half a head!This is the Breeder's Cup Classic I'm talking about.I thought she was hurt or something the way she ran dead last, 20 lengths behind.Then she came out of nowhere and would have won with two more strides, but it was too late.It figures the horse who beat her is na... read more

A Few More Good Quotes

( culture / quotes )
... on the subject of fascist/corporate power (thanks to LUV): Power that controls the economy should be in the hands of elected representatives of the people, not in the hands of an industrial oligarchy. -- Supreme Court Justice William O. Douglas Unless you become more watchful in your St... read more

Giants Win!

( culture / sports )
For the first time in my lifetime, the S.F. Giants have won the World Series!And they did it on my birthday!Adding to my joy was seeing George W. Bush in the background, clearly unhappy.... read more

All-Time Best Movie Lines

( culture / movies-tv-video )
I thought it'd be fun to come up with a list of the all-time best movie lines. Use the comments section below comments closed for your suggestions. Try and do it from memory. Don't worry about getting it exactly right. Here's what comes to my mind: We'll always have Paris - Rick in Casab... read more

Wine Review

( culture / food-holidays )
Yes, we do it all here at FriendsNews! If I said to you Bohemian Highway, California Merlot 2007, what would you think? Crap? Just this side of Thunderbird? Well, you'd be wrong. At the amazingly low price of $6 for the small bottle, it's just as good as the Woodbridge California Merlot at... read more

New Antenna

( culture / movies-tv-video / tech )
Got the new tv antenna via UPS last night. That super saver/slow boat shipping from Amazon was not very slow, after all! So, today I'll be installing it. Just wanted to mention that in case I'm killed in the process. You'll at least know what happened to me. It says right on the pa... read more

Diary, 7/24/2010

( culture / writing / blog / diary )
We all went to the Nashville Zoo today. My God it was hot ... and sticky. Luckily, Blue Bell Ice Cream was handing out free cups of vanilla ice cream, which we grabbed upon arrival and at departure. I think today was literally the hottest day yet this year. When we got home I felt sorry for the v... read more

Diary, 7/23/2010

( culture / writing / blog / diary )
I'm lying here on the couch - with the pugs asleep next to me - getting my new laptop just the way I like it. A customer was supposed to show up and drop off their laptop today at 3, but that never happened. Shoulda guessed that, but I had to be here in guess they did show up. Anyway, this ne ... read more

My First Bumper Sticker Sale!

( culture / humor )
I just got an email saying I've made my first bumper sticker sale! They bought three, actually. At 33 cents commission per item, at this rate, one sale per year, I'll be rich in no time! UPDATE: That was at Zazzle, but now I recommend CafePress (once it's set up).... read more

Quote Of The Day (6/21/2010)

( culture / quotes )
Watching Titanic the part where the ship is sinking is like watching the U.S. economy, where the rich conspire to sink as many of the poor as they possibly can. - Bill Holmes (yes, I thought this one up myself!) NEW! Random samples of dialogue from my novels!... read more

Snake

( culture / writing / blog )
I almost stepped on a snake as Elizabeth and I came out of the creek. Yes, we were in the creek. Anyway, I yelled, Aaaah when he slithered past me toward Elizabeth and into the water. Elizabeth wanted to get a better look at him as he lay there half in the water, half out. It was only three feet ... read more

Quote Of The Day (4/6/2010)

( culture / quotes )
For life to work well for most people today, the universe has chosen an unlucky few for whom nothing works at all. :) Try and keep that in mind as you go through your day. - Bill Holmes NEW! Random samples of dialogue from my novels!... read more

Screenplay Submitted

( culture / writing / screenplays )
I submitted a screenplay to Scriptapalooza today. See scriptapalooza.com. The first deadline is Friday the 5th. The real deadline is April 15. I think first prize is $10,000, but the main thing is that real Hollywood industry people read all of the scripts, so maybe even if you don't win the con... read more

My Cousin Kenny's Book

( culture / writing / books / health )
Scared to Life ... and Loving It!: One Man's Journey With Prostate Cancer (Paperback) Books/publications by other family members My Life - Lionel Joseph Holmes by Lionel Holmes This is Lionel Joseph Holmes's autobiography, illustrated with pictures taken over his life. Portugues... read more

Some Favorite Mark Twain Quotes

( culture / quotes )
It's easier to fool people than to convince them they have been fooled! The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to other creatures, but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot. If you don't read the newspaper,... read more

Happy Groundhog's Day

( culture / food-holidays / employment )
It's been almost five months now since I was laid off. It doesn't seem that long, actually. What've I been doing since then? Collecting unemployment checks and doing freelance consulting, helping people with their computer problems and questions. Check out computersavior.com for info on the latter. ... read more

Thawing Out

( culture / writing / blog )
Hopefully. It snowed a good 5-6 inches Friday in and around Nashville. It wasn't good snowman/snowball snow, though. Not in our neighborhood, anyway. It was too crusty because of the freezing rain that came after the snow. It made for great sledding, though, which Elizabeth and I spent several h... read more

New MP3 Player For My Car

( culture / music / tech / auto )
I am now the proud owner of this very cool device, here.Thanks to Heather and Brady for the suggestion!... read more

Newly Discovered Radio Station

( culture / music / radio )
I just got my car back from the shop. $1500. Ouch! On the way home, though, I turned on the radio. All my preset stations were gone. Right. Whenever they reset the onboard computer, it resets my radio station presets. Kinda weird that it would, actually. Doesn't the radio have its own memory ... read more

A Day Without My Car

( culture / writing / blog / transportation )
I'm just testing this Windows Live Writer software. UPDATE: There's now a newer, open-source version here. It was a dark and stormy night ... No, it was an unusually cold day ... yeah, that's it ... for the first week of December when I was forced to go without my beloved - well, ma... read more

Mr. Happy's 18th Annual Unusual Christmas Music Podcast

( culture / music / radio / holidays )
Seasons Greetings, You can tune in via your favorite mp3 player to the show: radio showWhat can you expect to hear? About 500 songs (over 24 hours of non-repeat music!) that fall into one or more of the following categories: musicians I like that happened to make a Christmas song (e.g. Ride, ... read more

A Few Bumper Stickers

( culture / writing / blog )
And one t-shirt, too. That's not me in the picture. :) Here's my store: http://www.zazzle.com/holmes3804 Make custom gifts at Zazzle... read more

Happy Halloween

( culture / food-holidays )
Or, as they piously call it around here, Fall Festival, because Halloween is the work of Satan, you know. :)We just returned from trick-or-treating, which Elizabeth absolutely loved. She kept saying, Halloween is so much fun! And now we're all recovering from the hike around the neighborhood. We... read more

Diary, 10/28/2009

( culture / writing / blog / diary )
We had a Fall Festival party at Elizabeth's daycare/preschool tonight (called that because some parents don't like Halloween). Elizabeth went dressed up in her Minnie Mouse costume. She was very cute. But then, she's cute no matter how she's dressed. :) They had a magic show that... read more

Diary, 10/17/2009

( culture / writing / blog / diary )
Been trying to learn Cisco (network routing equipment) online through skillsoft.com, which I was given access to in my severance package. Maybe I need to just move out in order to get everything done that needs getting done. My 4 year old daughter thinks just because I'm working from home right ... read more

Diary, 10/15/2009

( culture / writing / blog / diary )
Two weeks shy of my birthday and I'm still looking for a job. I don't know why. I never really fit in at these corporate soul-sucking places. Oh that's right, I need to pay the mortgage, daycare, grocery bill, utilities, car payment and its insurance. And don't forget the exorbitant ... read more

Haircut

( culture / appearance / grooming )
Got a haircut today. Finally! What little I have left - after all the stress at work and the stress of the recent back pain - was getting pretty long and goofy-looking unless it was wet and slicked back. Anyway, I was sitting there in my chair getting my hair cut by the same middle aged woman who cu... read more

Christmas (2008)

( culture / food-holidays / christmas )
It took five months, but here it is: Christmas 2008 ... read more

New Fence

( culture / writing / blog )
I forgot to mention that I built a fence last weekend. It only spans about 12 feet from the side of the house to the retaining wall dividing us from our slightly-uphill neighbor. I've still got to cut a gate into it. Hopefully, I can pull that off. I pulled it off. See below. Then, maybe next ... read more

Diary, 4/2/2009

( culture / writing / blog / diary )
Today is Dad's birthday. 90 years old! Amazing. I'm 48, in case you're wondering. Amazing ... ly disgusting! Oh well. Anyway, back to Dad. Longevity runs in his side of the family. His mother lived to be 101. His father made it to 81 or so, as did his oldest brother and only s... read more

Detroit Bank Robbery

( culture / humor / crime )
Detroit PD should be ashamed! :) See UPDATE: That old link is dead. Here's the new link... read more

Our First Outside Christmas Lights, Ever

( culture / food-holidays / christmas )
That's it. No story. Here's the link: Our first outside Christmas lights... read more

Diary, 11/10/2008

( culture / writing / blog / diary )
Parents all worry about how well they're raising their kids; how they will behave; what kind of people they will grow up to be. Well, tonight I discovered a sad truth about our youngest daughter, Sunny. She likes to hang out in gutters. You heard me. Gutters! Oh, the shame of it all! Sunny is a... read more

Diary, 11/7/2008

( culture / writing / blog / diary )
Well, I had a hell of a day. It started off normally enough, though it was raining, which is increasingly rare around here. I dropped Elizabeth off at school on my way to work, and from there my day took a wrong turn. I took side streets the rest of the way to work instead of the main Old Hickory B ... read more

Old Music, Newly Uploaded

( culture / music )
Here's some piano music I've composed over the years, mostly from the late 80s and early 90s. I rarely play nowadays. None of the compositions (if you can call them that) had names until just now. And none of it is very professionally played or recorded, but it's all I could do! Still, all rights re... read more

Holding The Sun

( culture / photography )
Cool pictures... read more

Palickovanie

( culture / arts-crafts )
Slovak art by Jana In the Slovak language, this textile art is called palickovanie (Pronounced: PALL-eech-ko-vah-nyeh)... read more

Kokopelli Stitching

( culture / arts-crafts )
Jana's Kokopelli stitching ... read more

Diary, 4/26/2008

( culture / writing / blog / diary )
I took Joey to the vet this morning for a routine follow-up. I volunteered because I thought his appointment would conflict with Tara's plans to take Elizabeth to meet up with her Auntie, Tara's sister Sandy, at the Franklin Street Fair. Tara conveniently allowed me to think that. When Joey... read more

Kentucky Derby (2008)

( culture / sports / horseracing )
Here's a list of possible starters for next week's Kentucky Derby: Derby 2008.The experts are divided between Big Brown, Colonel John and Pyro as their picks. You can see their picks on that page, above. You can also see all the horses' recent race results. Pyro was the overwhelming favo... read more

Stage

( culture / dance-stage / plays )
A couple of places in middle Tennessee where you might catch a stage play The Thomas House Chaffin's Barn Dinner Theatre ... read more

Radio

( culture / music / radio )
Online Radio stations Revolution935 Beat FM Blip.fm Pandora Margaritaville Last.fm Live365.com Listen.com Shoutcast Spotify Satellite from Don (ca. 2010) As broadcast radio continues to drive itself into self-extinction with their worship of mediocrity (the new American disease), t ... read more

Poetry

( culture / writing / poetry )
Poetry by FriendsNews members A Prince in Disguise A Saga of Seven Hats People you'll be missing and why THE RUN... read more

People You'll Be Missing And Why

( culture / writing / poetry )
by Jeannie Womack The time has come for you to move on, but I'm sure you'll be missing us while you are gone; No more conversation with boss Catherine to really make you think, You'll miss your adventures with supervisor Stella who is always in the pink; The daily reports from Lala about her bo ... read more

A Prince In Disguise

( culture / writing / poetry )
by Jeannie WomackWe met on the race track in '72 I couldn't resist his eyes, so blue We soon fell in love and started a life In '76 he made me his wifeA teacher, leader, rebel and yes A son, brother, father, the best Boss man, biker, hero and more Loving, caring, cheerful, no boreHe meant what ... read more

The Run

( culture / writing / poetry )
by Jeannie Womack Running in the rain isn't the pain a non-runner might think it would be I put on my jacket that has a hood, lace up my shoes, and stretching is good I open the door, expecting more as the rain comes sprinkling down My course is not planned yet, I'll try not to get my shoes ... read more

A Saga Of Seven

( culture / writing / poetry )
This is a story in the style called rap that'll surely encourage an afternoon nap of a family of seven, their kids and their wives and something regarding their travels and lives.Now first there was Greg, a Brooklyn-born lad; and then it was Lucy that Mom and Dad had. She was born at Sing Sing ... read more

Movies

( culture / movies-tv-video )
All about movies and TV Free features! - A list of full-length features uploaded to IMDb by independent filmmakers that you can watch right now on IMDb - for free! Or check out our featured content for the latest TV episodes, popular clips, and trailers. Free documentaries! Great website!Others he... read more

Books

( culture / writing / books )
Last Train Out. hrefhttps://smile.amazon.com/dp/B01GNA3LI8 ... read more

Short Stories

( culture / writing / stories )
Really old (mostly bad) stories by Bill Lipstick & WD-40 One Of Those Nights The Leaky Weekly Lunch At Jack-In-The-Box A Day At The Fair Murder? Or Just An Honest Mistake? Dinko Goes Shopping Aliens Spoke to Me Baub Devastating earthquake Rocks Southland Kangaroos Attacked Me Remmy Get... read more

Fashion

( culture / fashion )
We'll probably have something fashion-related to talk about... someday.... read more

One Of Those Nights

( culture / writing / stories )
by William Arthur Bill Holmes. © Copyright 1990 It was late. Claude couldn't sleep. He decided to walk to the corner liquor store for munchies and beer. As he entered the store, he noticed a girl at the phone-booth by the door. She smiled a curious smile and Claude smiled back uncertain... read more

Murder, Or Just An Honest Mistake?

( culture / writing / stories )
by William Arthur Bill Holmes. © Copyright 1990 The following story is rated PG. You figure it out. Madison Ripley Smith was sitting at his desk with his feet propped up when she walked in. Long legs, hourglass shape, luxurious jet-black hair, and matching jet-black eyes.What's with... read more

A Day At The Fair

( culture / writing / stories )
by William Arthur Bill Holmes. © Copyright 1990 I pulled into Angel's Camp around noon. I was supposed to be meeting my brother Don and his wife Diane there ... somewhere. We hadn't actually decided on a meeting place. That would have been too easy. I drove south on the main stre... read more

Lipstick & WD-40

( culture / writing / stories )
by William Arthur Bill Holmes. © Copyright 1990 Sandi strolled out of the motel room wearing her tight spandex pants, high-heeled shoes and a simple peasant blouse. She had just turned another trick and she wanted to vomit. This was not a reaction to just the one trick, but from the life s ... read more

The Slow Leak

( culture / writing / stories )
copyright © 2000 by Steve Holmes It was a gorgeous Sunday near the end of September and I needed some exercise. Exercise, just for the sake of exercise was probably best done by running on the treadmill at the athletic club. But on a day like that, just exercise wasn't enough. I would take a ... read more

The Admired Car

( culture / writing / stories )
by Steve Holmes, © Copyright 2001 Beep, beep, blink, blink! How the car, George wished she could honk her horn and flash her lights. A car with a name? Yes, she knew her name was George because she heard one of her creators say it, By George, she's a beauty.It was a Sunday afternoon in th ... read more

Lunch At Jack-In-The-Box

( culture / writing / stories )
by William Arthur Bill Holmes. © Copyright 1993 Driving around town the other day, I somehow ended up in Hollywood. I don't get to Hollywood much anymore and don't usually find myself missing it. But it was a beautiful day. And seeing all the quaint shops - each striving for uniquene ... read more

Cruise Special

( culture / humor / jokes )
A blonde walks by a travel agency and notices a sign in the window: "Cruise Special -- $99!" She goes inside, lays her money on the counter and says, "I'd like the $99 cruise special, please." The agent grabs her, drags her into the back room, ties her to a large ... read more

Typical Man's Timeline

( culture / humor / jokes )
1972: Long hair2002: Longing for hair1972: The perfect high2002: The perfect high yield mutual fund1972: KEG2002: EKG1972: Acid rock2002: Acid reflux1972: Moving to California because it's cool2002: Moving to California because it's warm1972: Growing pot2002: Growing pot belly1972: Trying to look li... read more

Romance Math

( culture / humor / jokes )
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS Smart man smart woman romance Smart man dumb woman affair Dumb man smart woman marriage Dumb man dumb woman pregnancy OFFICE ARITHMETIC Smart boss smart employee profit Smart boss dumb employee production Dumb boss smart employee promotion D ... read more

Sports Jokes

( culture / humor / jokes / sports )
Top 10 Caddy comments Here's one for you golfers. # 10 Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake." Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long?" # 9 Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course." Caddy: &quo... read more

51 Years Ago

( culture / humor / quotes )
"I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it's going to be impossible to buy a week's groceries for $20." "Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long before $2000 will only buy a used one." "If cigarettes keep going up in price... read more

Award-Winning English Prose

( culture / humor / language / english )
Every year, English teachers from across the USA can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the country. Here are last year's winners. 1. Her face was a perfect oval, lik... read more

Airline Cabin Announcements

( culture / humor / jokes / airlines )
All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in flight safety lecture and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: 1. On a Southwest flight 245 (SW has no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were app... read more

April Fools Day Hoaxes

( culture / humor / holidays )
Top 10 April Fools Day Hoaxes SPAGHETTI HARVEST - Bogus item on 1957 BBC news show Panorama. Viewers seeking advice on growing their own were told to put spaghetti sprig in tin of tomato sauce. SAN SERRIFFE - Guardian newspaper published seven-page supplement celebrating the Indian Ocean repub... read more

Bill And Tara's Excellent Adventure

( culture / movies-tv-video / transportation )
It started out as an innocent attempt at "dinner and a movie" on a Saturday night. It turned into... Tara's nightmare! We had dinner at Schlotzsky's, each of us ordering one of their 8" "personal" pizzas. Tara got her usual barbecue chicken. I tried something new: t... read more

Jokes

( culture / humor / jokes )
Joke Images Joke-related posts And, to start us off, here's this: A little Bible study never hurt anyone Subject: Why can't I own a Canadian? Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Ort... read more

Stupid Sayings

( culture / humor / jokes )
Save the whales. Collect the whole set. A day without sunshine is like, night. On the other hand, you have different fingers. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. 99 percent of politicians give the rest a bad name. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe... read more

A Girl Named Lucy

( culture / writing / poetry )
from 1990 This is a story 'bout a girl named Lucy Otherwise known as The Rappin' Watusi She lays down a beat that gets your toes tappin' If your toes get tired, let your fingers do the snappin' She says Hey buddy, don't you be no square If you can't find a partner... read more

A Day At The Races

( culture / writing / stories / horseracing )
from 1994 The first Saturday in May. What does this date mean to you? Probably nothing, except that Spring has finally arrived, unless you live in California where it's been Spring already for two months or more - real Spring, not calendar Spring. But ask any horse racing buff and they will ... read more

Ice Fishing

( culture / humor / jokes )
Saturday morning I got up early, put on my long johns, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. There was snow mixed with the rain and the wind was blowing 50 mph. I pull... read more

Barbecue Season

( culture / humor / jokes )
After months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking as it's the only type of cooking a real man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved. Wh ... read more

Insurance-Related Jokes

( culture / humor / jokes )
Frequently Asked Questions About Healthcare Q: What does HMO stand for? A: This is actually a variation of the phrase, "Hey, Moe!" Its roots go back to a concept pioneered by Doctor Moe Howard, who discovered that a patient could be made to forget about the pain in his foot if he was pok ... read more

Success Equation

( culture / humor / jokes / math )
This equation should be taught in all math classes! From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this: What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you t ... read more

Blonde Jokes

( culture / humor / jokes )
Blonde in a hailstormA blonde is driving home and she gets caught in a really bad hail storm.The hail is as big as tennis balls, and she ends up with her car covered with large dents. So the next day she takes her car to the repair shop. The shop owner, seeing she is blonde, decides to ha ... read more

Airline Gripesheet

( culture / humor / jokes / airlines )
After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial... read more

Hospital Charts

( culture / humor / jokes )
NOTATIONS ON HOSPITAL CHARTS Actual Sentences or notations Found In Patients' Hospital Charts (Proves that those medical folks are right on top of things. 1. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night. 2. Patient has che ... read more

Transportation

( culture / humor / jokes )
NEW LOS ANGELES DRIVER'S EXAM For those of you who are not fortunate enough to live in Los Angeles, here is a copy of the Los Angeles Driver's Exam. For those of you who are, study real hard. This is a new exam. Since driving conditions (and culture) are unique in Los Angeles, you may not have rea ... read more

Did I Read That Sign Right?

( culture / humor / language )
In a public restroom: TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW In a laundromat: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT  In a London department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS  In an office: WOULD THE PERSON ... read more

Dinko Goes Shopping

( culture / writing / stories )
by William Arthur Bill Holmes. Copyright 1990 There once was a cat named Dinko who loved food more than anything else in the world. Of course, when you're a cat, food is probably the single most important thing in the world; so none of this should come as any great shock. Sure, being cu... read more

Baub

( culture / writing / stories )
by William Arthur Bill Holmes. © Copyright 1989 In the vast expanse of Llycete Spaceport's docking yard on this below-freezing winter morning, the Mraclys, a small ship badly in need of a paint job, stood apart from the other ships, mostly because it was so ugly. Green on top, orange o ... read more