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This is pretty old, from the old newsletter in 1992, when the Soviet Union still existed, but it's still funnyHow English is Being Used in Different Parts of the WorldIN A TOKYO HOTEL: Is forbitten ... read more

In a public restroom Toilet Out Of Order. Please Use Floor Below In a laundromat Automatic Washing Machines Please Remove All Your Clothes When The Light Goes Out In a London department store Bargain ... read more

I'm just testing this Windows Live Writer software. UPDATE: There's now a newer, open-source version here. It was a dark and stormy night ... No, it was an unusually cold day ... yeah, that's it ... fo ... read more

It was horrible! I was at Walmart again, but that's not the worst part. There was a teenage/early-20's girl with boobs out to here, wearing the most form-fitting outfit you ever saw. I tried to ignore her because she RE ... read more

I love this quote!Capitol Hill is an assisted living facility for psychopathsRead the article here: ... read more

Does your whole house smell like dog urine? If so, you've come to the right place! If a dog hasn't been trained correctly or is suffering from a health problem, it's likely that it won't be able to control itself in the house. If your dog ... read more

I delegated the responsibility of reading Elizabeth her bedtime story to her son. :) By the way, she slept great! I put her to bed at 8:15 and she was asleep by 8:30. We woke up at 8:00 this morning. ... read more

Me (folding clothes): I need some of your hangers. Elizabeth: Here you go. Me: Wow, a variety of hanger types, thanks. Elizabeth: Well, I am diverse! Her friends are diverse, actually, but it's an inside joke with us about her overbearing ... read more

I'm attaching pictures we made of Astrakhan and our room. We are staying at the Hotel Azimut in Astrakhan. They are going through major renovations right now. It's kind of funny to see the interior design mix. The lobby is decorated in ... read more

Tara made a good guess earlier. She thinks the orphanage caretakers are telling Elizabeth that we will be taking her away soon. Th ... read more

In the twenty minutes that Tara and I left Elizabeth alone, she found some (child-safe) scissors and cut off all her hair. At first I thought it was just wet. Then I realized she'd cut it all off. I laughed and said I was just glad she h ... read more

We hear this is a good website to estimate how much a car repair should cost. Read, listen or watch the rest here: Auto Repair and Maintenance Estimates Auto Shop an ... read more

In case you were wondering, as I was... Click the image for a larger version ... read more

According to many, there are multiple health concerns that arise from the genetic engineering of our food. On top of this are multiple massive marketing campaigns to convince the human population that genetically modified food is not only ... read more

Had to park under an overpass this morning to avoid tornadoes. No problems for me but one did touch down right near work. Someone said it hit Macy's (just across the Interstate). ... read more

Legally, they apply ONLY to that executive's employees and any property under their legally-limited purview. Here's an open letter to all airlines... I thought I would educate you on the federal law you cite as justification for your ma ... read more

Things You Need To Know Vol. 2, No. 10, July 16, 1990 Pioneer Portuguese now availableWorld famous Portuguese historian Lionel Holmes's latest work is now available at a store near you. Don't be surprised if they're sold out. Sales ... read more

The Obtuse Moose Vol. 6, No. 3, April 21, 1994 Jeannie finds dog Jeannie and John have a ranch in Tracy, California. To help pay the bills, they board a few horses. One of those horses, a fat old gray Arabian mare, had been particularly ... read more

Not Just Another NewsletterMONDAY, JULY 19, 1993CIRCULATION: From 8 to 15 (depending on our mood and how many stamps we have)Copyright 1993 / Enterprises / 2 pages BILL ARRESTEDThat's right. Bill, this newsletter's edito ... read more

The Rotten Apple Journalism with visible holesVol. 5 No. 7, December 1, 1993 Mike Rolls Car!LIVINGS ... read more

The Broken Record Vol. 4, No. 5, June 25, 1992Predictable, irritating. Really, no redeeming qualities whatsoever. ... read more

The Holmes Family Newsletter Vol. 1, No. 5, September 5, 1989 Jeannie breaks elbow Placed on Disabled ListLathrop -- While attempting a sling-shot maneuver during a roller derby match last month with teammates Tiffany and Thomas, Jeanni ... read more