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If you've read any of my novels, please give them a review on Amazon (click the book's image, below or on the right, then click the Write a Customer Review button on its Amazon page, to the left), on ... read more

Every year, English teachers from across the USA can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the country. Here are ... read more

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right. The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule. ... read more

I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it's going to be impossible to buy a week's groceries for $20. Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long before $2000 will only buy a used one. If cigar ... read more

This is an old joke, so some of the program names might not be familiar. If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their famous sketch Who's on First? might have turned out something like this:COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ... read more

In case you're in the market for a barn cat, this is for you: petguide. Maybe other cities near you have a similar program. ... read more

Elizabeth dragged me onto another one of her outings this morning. If nothing else, she keeps me in shape. This time, she was on her motorized scooter (the kind you stand on), while I rode my bicycle. No fair making ... read more

I like a headline that demands attention!It's official, I'm a parent. Elizabeth had her first bowel movement since we've had her, and it was on my watch! Tara was unable to put Elizabeth down for a nap while I was out walking around town l ... read more

This is no longer an active donation drive. In honor of my father and his strong support for DNA testing of the Portuguese people, I am awarding a free DNA test each quarter who is announced in each issue of O Progresso, the newsletter of t ... read more

I spent all day today wondering how I was going to tell our 5-year-old that our cat, Sunny, was no longer with us. Literally. After being awakened last night at 2:30 a. m. by the sound of a VERY close coyote, and then not finding Sunny a ... read more

Finnegan Walter Brouns. Born April 1st at 9:35 AM. ... read more

In light of PayPal running amok, I thought I would provide a list of online payment system alternatives: ... read more

Plastic engine parts. Stop spending $20K on plastic! CAR WIZARD shows how this '95 Lexus LS400 is the perfect car. Prices on cars have gone through the roof, and they are mostly made out of brittle plastic pieces that won't last past yo ... read more

Australian researchers have been astonished to discover a cure-all right under their noses -- a honey sold in health food shops as a natural medicine. Far from being an obscure health food with dubious healing qualities, new research has s ... read more

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So far, CropMobster has managed to distribute nearly half a million kilograms of food, which has brought in close to a million dollars in revenue for small producers. ... read more

the NEWSLETTER Vol. 2, No. 11, August 13, 1990 Doug makes pilgrimageDoug, aka Sluggo, made a pilgrimage to the Mormon church's genealogical library in Salt Lake City over a week ago and hasn't been seen since! Several theories have been ... read more

The Daily Gargoyle Vol. 2, No. 14, November 16, 1990 Just when you thought it was safe to open the mailbox!Editor's note: For those of you who actually believed, or hoped, ... read more

Billy Club Vol. 2, No. 3, February 8, 1990 aka Bullseye, Hard Copy, The Holmes Family Newsletter ... read more

The Squeaky Sprocket Vol. 4, No. 4, May 11, 1992 The intelligent person's newsletter of choice. Riots ... read more

Falling Down a Manhole (can be quite painful and should be avoided)Vol. 6, No. 2, March 1, 1994 Michael moves!Michael has moved out of his mother, Lucy's, house. It's the first time I've been ... read more

The Leaky Faucet Vol. 4, No. 3, March 18, 1992More of the same, basically. Doug elected president ... read more