Tara and I just got back from a long weekend in Atlanta. It was nice to see the town. I'd passed through before but never stopped to look. The first touristy thing we did after finding our hotel -- the downtown Cour ... read more
Get your insults here!This is a free service that we're only too happy to provide. And just because it's free doesn't mean it's not professionally done. Give us a call anytime, but the later the hour, the worse the insult! ... read more
I've wasted a few hundred dollars on ineffective CBD oil, but this is good. It lowers my blood pressure at least 10 points if I take a dropper full (under the tongue and hold it for 30 seconds be ... read more
I went to a pre-employment drug screening this morning. Last week, I had interviewed for an IT instructor position. Had to give a mock class, and everything. I chose the subject of securing your home wireless network. It was fun. Any ... read more
I'm starting a new job next week, so I ran a test of how long it would take to get there after dropping Elizabeth off at school. It was 7:42 when they started letting the kids inside, allowing me to leave. I could do like a lot of parents ... read more
Anybody want to get healthier? Watch this movie: The Game Changers Official Film Website/DocumentaryPresented by James Cameron, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jackie Chan, Lewis Hamilton, Novak Djokovic and Chris Paul ... read more
For most people, winning $300 million in the lottery would be enough. They would retire, buy a big house and travel the world. Not Benny. He took the money and ran... for president. The house he had in mind was the White House. He didn't want to travel the world so much as save it from politicians. Retire? "I'll retire when I'm dead!" he said, not knowing so many people had that exact retirement plan in mind for him.
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Benny sat alone by the door in a recently opened Asian restaurant. The laminated menu offered Mongolian, Chinese and Japanese dishes, with each written in its native language. He had to flip it over for the English version on the back.
He was taking his therapist's advice, "throwing caution to the wind" and "letting the chips fall where they may." A sex therapist branching out to grief counseling, she was all about the clichés.
If you've ever felt the need to do it yourself when it came to one of your crafty/artsy ideas, you might try CafePress and make something exactly as you want it. Yes, we'll get a small commi ... read more
Chandler's a good dog. He's been through a lot in this life (before we adopted him) and will probably never fully recover. Never fully trust anyone again. I know the feeling. Maybe that's what we have in common. Whatever it is, I just ... read more
We had a list of stops to make. First came Ace Hardware for a clothes line and a no-pest-strip. Elizabeth had rediscovered her Barbie electric guitar earlier that day and brought it with her on this trip. She wanted to ... read more
Here are some photos from today of the hotel and the closest major street to us. We didn't get very far on our walk because it was too cold. ... read more
My wife Tara has written up our adoption story in response to that woman (not far from us, unfortunately) who returned that boy to Russia a couple weeks ago. With the recent headline news about the Russian adoption that went very very wron ... read more
Sent: Tuesday, February 06, 2001, 2:59 PMTara McKinneySubject: rescheduled againBetter not bring any boyfriends home tonight. I'll be here, after all. It's been rescheduled for tomorrow. Got a call from TekSystems-Huntsville. They'v ... read more
Don't you hate it when you tell the self-checkout register that you want cash back. Then by the time you're finished, because the $!? machine has screwed up so many times, you've forgotten all about the cash? Yep, if you want to get rich j ... read more
That sounds weird, but I just returned from the dump/recycling center, in my case the one on Omohundro Drive. I dropped off the old dishwasher along with my usual recycling and household trash. Anyway, the woman there told me that today ( ... read more
I almost stepped on a snake as Elizabeth and I came out of the creek. Yes, we were in the creek. Anyway, I yelled, Aaaah when he slithered past me toward her and into the water. She wanted to get a better look at him as he lay there ha ... read more
Some random spammer (TommieSkask) sent me this, but it was interesting. Probably written by AI, but I cleaned it up and am publishing it. See below. Packing for a multi-day upland bike journey demands detailed planning and deliberation ... read more
The Obtuse Moose Vol. 6, No. 3, April 21, 1994 Jeannie finds dog Jeannie and John have a ranch in Tracy, California. To help pay the bills, they board a few horses. One of those horses, a fat old gray Arabian mare, had been particularly ... read more
The Holmes Family Newsletter Vol. 1, No. 8, October 23, 1989 earthquake! Where were you when it hit?Don was just leaving his office on the 15th floor in downtown San Francisco when the whole building started to shake. I survived, said ... read more
Old stuff, but some of it's still funny ... It's basically the precursor to this website. Click the links in the table of contents, above. Otherwise, just do a search in the home page's search b ... read more
HARD COPY Vol. 2, No. 1 Hard-Hitting JournalismJanuary 3, 1990 formerly known as The Holmes Family Newsletter Predictions for 1990 Elvis Presley will still be dead. Vice-President Quayle will be kicked out of offi ... read more