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It doesn't matter what rights you have under the Constitution of the U. S. if the government can punish you for exercising those rights. And it doesn't matter what limits the Constitution puts on government officials' power if they can e ... read more

You might be smart with computers, but in real life you are a complete idiot. Programmer, data entry clerk, whatever. How have you not gone insane already!?Put some clothes on! Nobody wants to see that. ... read more

Markowitz palacsintas recipe. (pronounced pah-lah-CHIN-tuhz). Makes 4 or 5. beat well 2 eggsAdd a pinch of saltfrac12 teaspoon sugarbeat/mix in blender until has a loose consistency. Add frac12 cup water and some flour while mixing, until ... read more

Almost half of all action films on Netflix have a variation of this description: He thought he was retired, but has to do One. Last. Job! ... read more

From Lionel, January 2013: I just finished reading ... read more

Part 1, ... read more

Me (folding clothes): I need some of your hangers. Elizabeth: Here you go. Me: Wow, a variety of hanger types, thanks. Elizabeth: Well, I am diverse! Her friends are diverse, actually, but it's an inside joke with us about her overbearing ... read more

As Elizabeth likes to say, she and I were hanging out today while Tara had a girls' day out with Ronica. I think Tara's was a belated birthday thing. Hers was on the 10th. Anyway, once Ronica finally called -- after Tara had started to ... read more

In case you're in the market for a barn cat, this is for you: petguide. Maybe other cities near you have a similar program. ... read more

Monday -- 1 Oct 07 -- 6:37PMzzzDRAHST-vueet-ya, DRAHST-ya, BREEV-yet ee DO-bree-dyen from Astrakhan! I just (phonetically) said Hello, hey, hi and good afternoon (even though it's now evening here) in Russian. I couldn't remember how to ... read more

We fly out today. It would've been nice to have gotten one last good night's sleep, but the cat made sure that didn't happen. Stupid cat. Anyone want one? Seriously. She's very pretty and sweet when she's not keeping you from sleeping. ... read more

I get these job listing emails (just in case something awesome comes along). This latest one (probably created by AI (artificial/lower intelligence)) said they have several jobs just for you: Hospice Aide (Los Angeles), Chaplain (Paramus ... read more

Depressing but true. The genius of our ruling class is that it has kept a majority of the people from ever questioning the inequity of a system where most people drudge along, paying heavy taxes for which they get nothing in return. -- G ... read more

Get your insults here!This is a free service that we're only too happy to provide. And just because it's free doesn't mean it's not professionally done. Give us a call anytime, but the later the hour, the worse the insult! ... read more

Go ahead and let yourself get excited. It's OK! You might even enjoy yourself. They say ... getting excited helps with performance anxiety. Read the rest ... read more

I know they're just doing their jobs, but headhunters (job recruiters) can be some of the most dehumanizing people I've ever had to deal with. Because of that, I like to have a little fun at their expense whenever possible. Here's a recen ... read more

Behind the Eight Ball Who is that behind the eight ball, anyway?Vol. 6 No. 5, Au ... read more

Yee-Haw The only newsletter we do!Vol. 6, No. 7, December 29, 1994Belinda Has Puppies!Another one of Lucy's dogs has gone and had a litter of pups. This time the mother is Belinda, a Rottweiler, and she gave birth to a litter ... read more

The Holmes Family Newsletter Vol. 1, No. 8, October 23, 1989 earthquake! Where were you when it hit?Don was just leaving his office on the 15th floor in downtown San Francisco when the whole building started to shake. I survived, said ... read more

and now... THE NEWS Vol. 3, No. 3 (yes, only No. 3)April 26, 1991 Doug returns from Hungary On March 21, ... read more

Things You Need To Know Vol. 2, No. 10, July 16, 1990 Pioneer Portuguese now availableWorld famous Portuguese historian Lionel Holmes's latest work is now available at a store near you. Don't be surprised if they're sold out. Sales ... read more

The Newsletter Vol. 2 No. 12, September 17, 1990Your Only News Source It's a girl!!We asked Denise if she could hurry up and have the baby because we wanted to put out this issue. And, sure enough, she had the baby two weeks e ... read more