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If you've read any of my novels, please give them a review on Amazon (click the book's image, below or on the right, then click the Write a Customer Review button on its Amazon page, to the left), on ... read more

It's SELF-published, but still ... It's called Lottery President. Hopefully, it's at least slightly entertaining. Tell a friend! ... read more

You might be smart with computers, but in real life you are a complete idiot. Programmer, data entry clerk, whatever. How have you not gone insane already!?Put some clothes on! Nobody wants to see that. ... read more

Signing my daughter up for softball, I had to laugh at this (stripped down) Parents Code of Ethics:I will encourage good sportsmanshipI will place the emotional and physical well-being of my child ahead of my personal desire to win. I will ... read more

Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. I disapprove of what you say, but will defend to the death your right to say it. Judge a man by his questions, rather than by his answers. Every man is guilty ... read more

Tara had a busy day off. Her basic schedule consisted of: 1) taking our pug Chandler back to the vet (for the fifth or sixth time the past month) to check on his ulcerated cornea 2) awaiting delivery of ... read more

To sum it all up: We love our daughter. Elizabeth is a wonderful, beautiful, intelligent little girl. We thank Russia for giving her to us. Otherwise, we did not enjoy Russia. In their defense, we weren't there under normal circumstance ... read more

Me (folding clothes): I need some of your hangers. Elizabeth: Here you go. Me: Wow, a variety of hanger types, thanks. Elizabeth: Well, I am diverse! Her friends are diverse, actually, but it's an inside joke with us about her overbearing ... read more

Tara just brought me back from the pharmacy where I'm having a prescription filled. We used CVS because Tara had a coupon. She is the coupon queen. Doesn't buy anything without a coupon these days. It's a hobby. You ... read more

I can't believe I made it. Of course, it's not over yet. It's only dinner time. It's been a LONG day. I'm at McDonald's as I write this. I tried to get online with their free wi-fi, but you have to have an account already before you ca ... read more

Part 1, Pa ... read more

If more places the government push facial recognition, these will be a hot item:Mascaras Realista ... read more

Where to Donate Your Stuff: 101 Places Your Clutter Can Do GoodSomething that's been sitting in your house, unu ... read more

I'm starting a new job next week, so I ran a test of how long it would take to get there after dropping Elizabeth off at school. It was 7:42 when they started letting the kids inside, allowing me to leave. I could do like a lot of parents ... read more

Nashville made the list! Here's what they say about it:The new Nashville offers two things worth traveling for: a hot, trendy ... read more

Tara and I made a quick trip (if you can call a five-hour road trip quick) to St. Louis over the Labor Day weekend. We visited their historic Old Town district along the river where they were hosting the Big Muddy Blues Roots Festival. ... read more

Bullseye Vol. 2, No. 2, January 26, 1990formerly known as Hard Copy before that, The Holmes Family Newsletter D ... read more

Falling Down a Manhole (can be quite painful and should be avoided)Vol. 6, No. 2, March 1, 1994 Michael moves!Michael has moved out of his mother, Lucy's, house. It's the first time I've been ... read more

Billy ClubNews That Hits You Over The HeadVol. 2, No. 4, February 26, 1990Coyote has puppies!Lucy's dog, Coyote ... read more

The Squeaky Sprocket Vol. 4, No. 4, May 11, 1992 The intelligent person's newsletter of choice. Riots ... read more

The Rotten Apple Journalism with visible holesVol. 5 No. 7, December 1, 1993 Mike Rolls Car!LIVINGS ... read more

The Belching Frog Vol. 4, No. 7, September 16, 1992Thomas should like this name. Doug returns again O ... read more