My Twitter feed: by @TheBillHolmes
Some of my better ones, according to me …
- Never work FOR someone else, work WITH them.
- I do some of my best work when I'm supposed to be doing something else.
- Elizabeth this AM: Dad, can you get my other shoe outside? It's frozen to the ground!
- My biggest worry, of course, is that I will no longer have anything to worry about.
- Pulling my daughter in a sled on snowy sidewalk to friends' house, I turn around & see her waving like a beauty queen on a pageant float.
- There's something just sad about a middle-aged man admiring himself in the mirror. But enough about me. Kidding. It was someone else.
Me: Can we throw this out?
Me: I see you've learned from your mom how to say “fine” without it meaning “fine” at all.
- People need to be listened to – preferably agreed with – more than anything else. If you could do one thing for someone, that would be it.
- 9yo daughter buys painting at Walgreens, and says, “It's made in China. They're really good painters.”
- Wife tried to foist hazelnut creamer on me. Had to set her straight. I'm a manly man, and manly men drink their coffee black!
- At Dr today the hot female nurse practitioner said “Wow” when I took off my shirt. Can you blame her? Too bad it was for wrong reason.
- Life is like flying: You have to keep moving & make constant adjustments, but there's always time for a few loop-de-loops!
- The person who knows that they're not innately superior to anyone is the better-informed person.
- If anything is learned, it's not time wasted.
- Life is so huge and full of problems. Luckily, life is so huge and full of answers.
- Can someone please create an app that will block images of all recognizable politicians? My online world would be a better place.
- Intellect is great, but don't fall too much in love with it. It's just one of several tools we have for navigating/creating our lives.
- 9yo explains the FIVE basic elements: Earth needs Water, making Air, causing Electricty, making Fire, put out with Water. Full circle!
- Don't hate others for being different from you. Do you really WANT everyone to be just like you? I didn't think so.
- IQ doesn't matter. The smartest people are those who make the best use of their time, energy and talents .. without being a**holes.
- et cetera (a.k.a. “etc.”): It's Latin for “blah blah blah.”
- Daughter made my day. I said a misbehaving PC was retarded, but I outsmarted it and fixed it. She said, “Of course you did. You're my Dad!”
- Having friends is so much better than having enemies.
- Having an Obama 2012 sticker is as bad as a Bush 2004 sticker. You didn't learn your lesson after their first term?
- “Snowboard Cross” is definitely my favorite winter Olympics sport! But to add difficulty they should make them answer texts while boarding!
- Watching TV weather alerts is always educational. I always learn of a town nearby I'd never heard of. This time it's Dull, TN! Wow.
- “Be as smart as you can, but remember it is always better to be wise than smart. – Alan Alda” My wife & I said this last night!
- My 8yo daughter asking me to cook bacon & eggs, starts nodding her head, saying, “Yes.” A natural-born manipulator. I'm so proud. 🙂
- I realize I'm at the Y, with no expectation of privacy or “quiet,” but I wish these women behind me would shut up! I'm trying to write! 🙂
- Apparently girls rule and boys drool. Who knew? Makes sense, though.
- U want heaven? Be an angel.
- People aren't science experiments, they're works of art & should be treated as such.
- As I was picking her up after school recently, Elizabeth got into the car and, very seriously, announced, “I can understand gibberish.” I just cracked up, with that gasping-for-breath laugh. She said, “What?” And I said, “I love you. You're just so funny sometimes!”
- 8yo, talking about something she'll do as a teenager, pauses and adds, “But, you'll be dead by then.” I just had to laugh. So sweet.
More still (with some duplicates, I'm sure)…