Did I Read That Sign Right?

In a public
restroom:

TOILET OUT OF
ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

In a laundromat:

AUTOMATIC
WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT 

In a London department store:

BARGAIN BASEMENT
UPSTAIRS 

In an office:

WOULD THE PERSON
WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL
BE TAKEN 

In an office:

AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD 

Outside a
secondhand shop:

WE EXCHANGE
ANYTHING – BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND
GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN? 

Notice in health
food shop window:

CLOSED DUE TO
ILLNESS 

Spotted in a
safari park: (I sure hope so)

ELEPHANTS PLEASE
STAY IN YOUR CAR 

Seen during a
conference:

FOR ANYONE WHO
HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN’T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR 

Notice in a
farmer’s field:

THE FARMER
ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES. 

Message on a
leaflet:

IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS 

On a repair shop
door:

WE CAN REPAIR
ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR – THE BELL DOESN’T WORK) 

Proofreading is
a dying art, wouldn’t you say?

Man Kills Self
Before Shooting Wife and Daughter

This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked
who wrote this.  It took two or three readings before the editor realized
that what he was reading was impossible!!!  They put in a correction the
next day.

Something Went
Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

Really? Ya
think? 

Police Begin
Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Now that’s
taking things a bit far! 

Panda Mating
Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

What a
guy! 

Miners Refuse to
Work after Death

No-good-for-nothing’
lazy so-and-so’s! 

Juvenile Court
to Try Shooting Defendant

See if that
works any better than a fair trial! 

War Dims Hope
for Peace

I can see where
it might have that effect! 

If Strike Isn’t
Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile

Ya think?! 

Cold Wave Linked
to Temperatures

Who would have
thought! 

Enfield (London)
Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

They may be on
to something! 

Red Tape Holds
Up New Bridges

You mean there’s
something stronger than duct tape? 

Man Struck By
Lightning: Faces Battery Charge

He probably IS
the battery charge! 

New Study of
Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Weren’t they fat
enough?! 

Astronaut Takes
Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

That’s what he
gets for eating those beans! 

Kids Make
Nutritious Snacks

Do they taste
like chicken? 

Local High
School Dropouts Cut in Half

Chainsaw
Massacre all over again! 

Hospitals are
Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

Boy, are they
tall! Would they make a great basketball team.

And the winner
is…. 

Typhoon Rips
Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Did I read that
right ?

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