Cash Back

Don't you hate it when you tell the self-checkout register that you want cash back. Then by the time you're finished, because the $!?&@ machine has screwed up so many times, you've become distracted and forgotten all about the cash? Yep, if you want to get rich just follow behind me whenever I go to the grocery store. Luckily I'd only asked for $20.

Diversity

Me (folding clothes): I need some of your hangers.

Elizabeth: Here you go.

Me: Wow, a variety of hanger types, thanks.

Elizabeth: Well, I am diverse!.

Her friends are diverse, actually, but it's an inside joke with us about her overbearingly liberal school whose biggest source of pride is its "diversity."


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Facebook Creeps Me Out

Every time Facebook shows me one of those notices saying something like "Hey there, we've been going through all of your posts and thought you might like to share this compilation," I feel like I'm being approached by some creepy guy on the street opening his trench coat to show me all of the compromising photos of me that he's collected over the years.

Maybe it's just me?

Maybe I should stop getting into such compromising positions?