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(we couldn't decide on a name)Vol. 3, No. 4, June 4, 1991
Bikers ride to Yosemite
On Mother's Day, John, Jeannie, Don and Diane (collectively known as "Hell On Wheels") rode their motorcycles to Yosemite. "We had a great time," Jeannie, the club spokesperson, said afterward. On their return trip they stopped off at Lucy's house. Neither Lucy nor Mike were home so, as Jeannie put it, "we broke into her house, used her bathroom, drank her beer and played with her 'guard dogs'" in that order.
Bill moving to Yuba City (maybe)
Bill and his business partner, Gabe, dba Pacific Rim Technologies, are planning to open in Yuba City a branch office of their computer training operation. They have made arrangements with a Yuba City computer store to use their training facility. The store supplies everything (except students) in exchange for a commission. Bill will be heading up this operation while Gabe continues to run the Sacramento operation.
Bill's new address and phone number are unknown at this time, pending confirmation of this whole proposition.
Doug has moved (definitely)
After one month, Doug has decided to move to a better neighborhood. Seems he grew tired of living next to drug dealers, scumbags and low-lifes. His new address is ?????, Sacramento, CA 95821.
Meanwhile, "Doug's Mugs" is reportedly doing good business at Country Club Plaza in Sacramento. Doug will be set up in the mall until Father's Day. After that, we have no idea where he will be.
Steve and Denise to venture East
At the end of this month, Steve and Denise and, of course, Kristen, will be traveling to the East coast. They will be flying to upstate New York to visit Dick and Alberta Krueger. And from there, they will rent (or steal) a car and drive through Amish country in Pennsylvania; tour Washington, D.C.; and then head to Williamsburg, Virginia. Bon voyage!
"I don't know what happened," Bill whined.
"Quite frankly," Steve explained, "Bill's just not that good."
Jeannie sold all of her Rottweiler puppies. You knew that. That's old news. What you may not know is that Lucy has sold the last of her "fahrvergnugen" German Shepherds. Finally!
["Fahrvergnugens" is what Lucy called her puppies. We wouldn't make that up.]
a day at the fair
by Bill Holmes
I drove south on the main street through town (probably Main Street, though I'm not quite sure). Parked along either side of the street were at least a hundred motorcycles, mostly Harleys, hovered over by their mostly leather-clad owners and passengers. I was supposed to find Don and Diane's motorcycle out of all these?
I pulled into the parking lot and parked my car.
"You just ran over my foot, Bill," he said in disbelief.
"Always go with your first instinct," Don advised.
There was a line of cars at the fairgrounds gate. The entrance was on a hill, and my car is a stick shift. I have an irrational fear of stopping on hills with a car that has a stick shift. I mentioned this to Diane, but she didn't seem to care. I told her about the time I ran a red light in Ossining, New York because it was at the top of a steep hill and my truck had a stick shift.
She looked at me sideways, yawned, and said, "That's against the law, isn't it?"
"You want me to drive?" Diane asked helpfully.
"Pay my parking," he shouted, and sped on up ahead and out of sight. He reappeared a few minutes later after I parked my truck.
And that's when Don pulled out his knife and began whipping it back and forth in front of my face. He stood with his feet wide apart, his body leaning slightly forward as he bobbed and weaved and stabbed at the air. The long, sharp blade glinted menacingly in the sun.
"What makes the horses buck?" Diane asked.
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