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Family newsletter

Old stuff, but some of it's still funny ... It's basically the precursor to this website. Click the links in the table of contents, above. Otherwise, just do a search in the home page's search box for "newsletter" (without quotes).... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 8 no 1

Once in a Blue Moon Vol. 8 No. 1, February 1997 A lot... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 7 no 1

  The Wandering Eye Vol. 7 No. 1, March 19, 1995 [We're back! Sorry it took so long between issues, but the entire staff was frozen solid in a block of ice the past three months. We j... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 6 no 7

  Yee-Haw The only newsletter we do! Vol. 6, No. 7, December 29, 1994Belinda Has Puppies! Another one of Lucy's dogs has... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 6 no 6

Coyote Breath Vol. 6 No. 6, October 26, 1994 Don rides to Denver In August, Don rode his motorcycle from Nashville to Denver. He wouldn't say why or what he did while in Den... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 6 no 5

Behind the Eight Ball Who is that behind the eight ball, anyway? Vol. 6 No. 5, August 21, 1994 Jeannie Bre... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 6 no 4

Fish Stories Best when lightly buttered, with just a pinch of lemon. Vol. 6 No. 4[sometime between April and August 1994] T... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 6 no 3

The Obtuse Moose Vol. 6, No. 3, April 21, 1994 ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 6 no 2

Falling Down a Manhole (can be quite painful and should be avoided) Vol. 6, No. 2, March 1, 1994... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 6 no 1

Itchy Trigger Finger Vol. 6, No. 1, February 6, 1994earthquake in Southern California! We're sure you've heard all about it on the news, but we just wanted to mention it in case y... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 5 no 8

The Happy Hairball (something we keep coughing up) Volume 5, Number 8 December 20, 1993 Publisher: This guy —>> Editor: Same guy Distributor: Brave little delivery boys and girls worldwide Address: Nashville, TN 37215 ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 5 no 7

The Rotten Apple "Journalism with visible holes" Vol. 5 No. 7, December 1, 1993 Mike Rolls Car! LIVINGSTON, CA - Remember we told you about Mike's new car in the previous issue? Well, he "totalled" it a couple... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 5 no 6

Hoot and a Holler Vol. 5, No. 6, September 28, 1993 — Nashville edition — Journalism at its finest! — Yearly subscription rate: $135 Brouns family buys property LATHR... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 5 no 5

the rabblerouser Vol. 5, No. 5, August 8, 1993 Bill moving to Nashville Bill is moving to Nashville, Tennessee to pursue his boyhood dream of being a country singing star! Oh wait, that's Don's boyhood dream. Bill's jus... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 5 no 4

Not Just Another Newsletter MONDAY, JULY 19, 1993 CIRCULATION: From 8 to 15 (depending on our mood and how many stamps we have) Copyright 1993 Bill Holmes Enterprises ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 5 no 3

  A Face in the Crowd Vol. 5, No. 3, May 25, 1993 Eleanor Gets License After taking the DMV driving test every year since the age of 16, Eleanor has finally passed and b... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 5 no 2

The Sacred Cow Vol. 5, No. 2, March 15, 1993 Dad sucked from plane! Well, almost. And it was 41 years ago. [Hey, nobody can accuse us of being accurate or current (or relevant, ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 5 no 1

The Stupid Kangaroo Vol. 5, No. 1, February 1, 1993 Editor's Note: This newsletter welcomes the New Year (kicking and screaming, but that's to be expected) and we wish all our readers (an... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 4 no 8

The Leaping Lizard Vol. 4, No. 8, October 20, 1992 EDITOR'S NOTE ... After Grandma's recent birthday party (see article below), this newsletter was swamped with requests from peo... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 4 no 7

The Belching Frog Vol. 4, No. 7, September 16, 1992 "Thomas should like this name." ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 4 no 6

>The Barking Dog Vol. 4 No. 6, July 22, 1992 "Who names these newsletters, anyway?" earthquakes, earthquakes! We're sick of earthquakes! Why doesn't the government do something!? On June 28, 1992, Southern Califo... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 4 no 5

The Broken Record Vol. 4, No. 5, June 25, 1992 "Predictable, irritating. Really, no redeeming qualities whatsoever." L.A. riots: The aftermath In the aftermath of the Los Angeles riots, religious and community leaders speak of heali... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 4 no 4

>The Squeaky Sprocket Vol. 4, No. 4, May 11, 1992 "The intelligent person's newsletter of choice." Riots in L.A., earthquakes in So. Cal and Eureka! Is the world coming to an end? Probably. And did you notice that all these things h... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 4 no 3

The Leaky Faucet Vol. 4, No. 3, March 18, 1992 "More of the same, basically." Doug elected president With this nation in the throes of its quadrennial tra... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 4 no 2

  The Leaky Faucet Vol. 4, No. 2, February 13, 1992 "The quintessential newsletter." Warning: May not be suitable for the humor impaired. Elvis lives!... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 4 no 1

  The Leaky Faucet Vol. 4, No. 1, January 4, 1992 "Everything you've ever wanted to know about anything." Diane has surgery On December 3, Diane of Haywa... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 3 no 8

  The Leaky Faucet Vol. 3, No. 8, December __, 1991 Steve & Denise host Thanksgiving ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 3 no 7

  The Leaky Faucet Vol. 3, No. 7, October 14, 1991 Mike lands great job! Michael has been named Executive Producer of Cal State Stanislaus' new bi-weekly cable television s... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 3 no 6

  The Leaky Faucet "Irritating, yet soothing. Obnoxious, yet hypnotic" Vol. 3, No. 6, July 30, 1991 ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 3 no 5

>NEWS Vol. 3, No. 5, July 6, 1991 Northern California's leading newsletter since 1989 (except for those few months when we were Southern California's leading newsletter) Record heat melts Sacto!Molten steel and rubber cover city ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 3 no 4

  the Evening Star Post-Tribune Dispatch (we couldn't decide on a name) Vol. 3, No. 4, June 4, 1991 Bikers ride to Yosemite On Mother's Day, John, Jeannie, ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 3 no 3

  and now ...THE NEWS Vol. 3, No. 3 (yes, only "No. 3") April 26, 1991 Doug returns from Hungary On March 21, Doug left Sacramento for Budapest (pronounced "booda-pesht"), Hungary. Taking advantage of a tickets-for-mugs trade w... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 3 no 2

  the NEWSLETTER Vol. 3, No. 2, February 10, 1991 It's a girl... and a boy and a girl and a boy ...   Chance, a dog, has given birth to seven little dogs. Three boy... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 3 no 1

  news from La-La Land HAPPY NEW YEAR!! Vol. 3, No. 1, January 4, 1991 Newsletter editor murdered! The editor of this newsletter was apparently murdered "some tim... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 2 no 9

  WORLD NEWS "Award-Winning Journalism" Vol. 2, No. 9, June 14, 1990 Dad kills rattler! Special to the News Back from a week in the wilds o... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 2 no 8

  The Holmes Family Newsletter Vol. 2, No. 8 "Anniversary Issue" May 25, 1990 [Editor's Note: This is the big one! The big enchilada. The killer tomato. It's the anni... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 2 no 7

  the NEWS Vol. 2, No. 7, May 1, 1990 [Editor's Note: We would like to apologize for that last issue, but we won't. We'd like to say it'll never happen again, but hey.] Mike gets job Mike has taken a job as a process server for a Modesto privat... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 2 no 6

  the NEWS Vol. 2, No. 6 [Back in spite of popular demand.] April 16, 1990 WORLD NEWS Mike is back from Germany and looking very European. (Fancy haircut, pale complexion, but otherwise healthy.) He's having trouble getting used to speaking Engl... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 2 no 5

  Big News & Other Stuff Vol. 2, No. 5 [Yeah, another new name.] March 19, 1990 Mike to return early Mike has had a change of plans and expe... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 2 no 4

  >Billy Club A newsletter for the 90's and beyond! "News That Hits You Over The Head" Vol. 2, No. 4, February 26, 1990 Coyote has puppies! Lucy's dog, Coyote, had four "little shepherdy things" on Friday, the 23r... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 2 no 3

  Billy Club Vol. 2, No. 3, February 8, 1990 [aka Bullseye, Hard Copy, The Holmes Family Newsletter] Diane now a doctor Call her "Dr. Holm... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 2 no 2

Bullseye Vol. 2, No. 2, January 26, 1990 [formerly known as Hard Copy; before that, The Holmes Family Newsletter] Denise expecting! Takin... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 2 no 1

HARD COPY Vol. 2, No. 1 "Hard-Hitting Journalism" January 3, 1990 [formerly known as The Holmes Family Newsletter] Predictions for 1990 ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 2 no 10

  Things You Need To Know Vol. 2, No. 10, July 16, 1990 "Pioneer Portuguese" now available World famous Portuguese historian Lionel Holmes's latest work is now avai... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 2 no 11

  the NEWSLETTER Vol. 2, No. 11, August 13, 1990 Doug makes pilgrimage Doug, aka "Sluggo", made a pilgrimage to the Mormon church's genealogical library in Salt La... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 2 no 12

  The Newsletter Vol. 2 No. 12, September 17, 1990 "Your Only News Source" It's a girl!! We asked Denise if she could hurry up and have the baby because we want... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 2 no 13

  Hometown News Vol. 2, No. 13, October 20, 1990 [Editor's Note: This is most definitely the last issue.] Bill graduates! After seven months, Bill has finally completed his computer programming course! The school, MTI Business College (a school ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 2 no 14

  The Daily Gargoyle Vol. 2, No. 14, November 16, 1990 "Just when you thought it was safe to open the mailbox!" [Editor's note: For those of you who actually believed, or hoped, that there wouldn't be any more newsletters, well, all we can... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 2 no 15

  NEWS, ETC. Vol. 2, No. 15, December 18, 1990 "Christmas Issue" Lucy to Host Christmas Lucy will be having Christmas at her house this year. It's a potluck affair... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 1 no 10

  The Holmes Family Newsletter  Vol. 1, No. 10 Worldwide Circulation... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 1 no 9

  The Holmes Family Newsletter A Newsletter With A Mission In Life! Vol. 1, No. 9 Worldwide Circulation November 21, 1989 The Environmental Issue Only 34 days ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 1 no 8

  The Holmes Family Newsletter Vol. 1, No. 8, October 23, 1989 earthquake!   Where were you when it hit? Don was just leaving his office on the 15th floor... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 1 no 7

  The Holmes Family Newsletter Vol. 1, No. 7, October 5, 1989 [Let's face it, these things are going just keep coming.] Steve arrested Steve received his first speeding ticket e... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 1 no 6

  >The Holmes Family Newsletter  Vol. 1, No. 6a*, September 17, 1989 Everyone seems to be on a diet these days. Lucy and Jeannie are trying a low carbohydratehigh protein diet. Don's trying good old reliable starvation. Eleanor is on the... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 1 no 5

  The Holmes Family Newsletter Vol. 1, No. 5, September 5, 1989 Jeannie breaks elbow Placed on Disabled List Lathrop — While attempting a "sling-shot" mane... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 1 no 4

  The Holmes Family Newsletter Vol. 1, No. 4, August 1, 1989 Largest Tri-Weekly Newsletter Circulation in the West! [tri-weekly (tri-week'lee) 1. we TRY to get it out weekly) ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 1 no 3

  The Holmes Family Newsletter Vol. 1 No. 3, July, 1989 [Editor's Note: Due to profanity, nudity, and the mature theme of this issue, parental discretion is advised.] ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 1 no 2

  The Holmes Family newsletter  June 23, 1989 Vol. 1, No. 2 ... read more

Holmes Family Newsletter vol 1 no 1

  The Holmes Family Newsletter Vol. 1, No. 1, Since 1989 May 25, 1989 [Editor's Note: This may be the only issue, so pay attention!] Announcements Well, the big news, of ... read more

Our Portuguese Table

My brother Doug talking about Portuguese genealogy on (I guess) the podca... read more

A few words about my Dad

I tried to come up with the best word to fill in the blank in the following sentence: He was the most _____ man I have ever known. He was certainly the finest, hands-down, bar none. Most fair-minded, too. With seven kids ready to cry "It's n... read more

I love my daughter

There's something on the kitchen counter. I'm thinking it's a shriveled, rotting potato. Not that we usually have that sort of thing on the counter, but that's what I'm thinking. I point at it and ask my wife, "What is that?" "Elizabeth's rock," wi... read more

Kids hate broccoli

Elizabeth at the dinner table being forced to eat her broccoli: Ugh, can I throw up? Her mom: Um, no. Me: [trying not to laugh out loud] Mom: You're not helping!... read more

Sunday ride

Elizabeth dragged me onto another one of her outings this morning. If nothing else, she keeps me in shape. This time, she was on her motorized scooter (the kind you stand on), while I rode my bicycle. No fair making the old man use pedal power while ... read more

Birthday card from Grandpa

Elizabeth received a birthday card from Grandpa today with $20 inside! She said, "I love your dad! Tell him thank you very much! Your dad is rich! I wouldn't have thought such an old old person would have so much money!"... read more

Dad's 94th birthday, part 3

  Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 Old Sacramento Once Bijou and her people hooked up with Elizabeth and her people, our first stop was a candy store called ... read more

Dad's 94th birthday, part 2

  Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 The Zoo The next morning, I was up before Elizabeth. I couldn't wait for her to wake up, so I snuck downstairs for some free coffee. She would have fre... read more

Dad's 94th birthday, part 1

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 Going to California A couple weeks ago for my Dad's 94th birthday, I brought my (almost) 8-year-old daughter, Elizabeth. A couple of family me... read more

What crickets eat

After catching a cricket and putting it into her bug cage (yes, she has a bug cage), my six-year-old daughter Elizabeth asked, "Can you … um … look on the Internet and see what crickets eat?" I just laughed and said, "Yes, I can actually do... read more

Kite flying

As it turned out, today was a good day for kite flying. Elizabeth, 6, had been bugging me about flying her new kite since returning from the vet this morning. We had brought all three pugs in to see Dr. Paula: ... read more

Lesson learned

  I'll be spending all week (Spring Break) with my almost-6-year-old daughter, Elizabeth. Woo hoo! Yesterday was supposed to be my only "day off," as she was supposed to be in school (snow make-up day). But she's come down with the flu, so she staye... read more

Elizabeth's first play

Elizabeth, 5, came up with the following play just as we were finishing dinner the other day. Dinner theater, if you will. :) We were in Sacramento visiting my Dad, joined by my brother Greg and his wife June. MOM (Tara): Where is the prince? ... read more

Fall is definitely here

It was actually cold all day today, but that didn't stop me and Elizabeth, then the pugs, from spending half of our day outside! First, we went exploring the new neighborhood being built nearby. I don't know why they're building. There's plenty of... read more

Saturday with Elizabeth

As Elizabeth likes to say, she and I were "hanging out" today while Tara had a girls' day out with Ronica. I think Tara's was a belated birthday thing. Hers was on the 10th. Anyway, once Ronica finally called — after Tara had started to ... read more

First full week

... of kindergarten! Tara's getting Elizabeth ready now. Elizabeth has been ready to go, already jumping into bed with us, then jumping out almost immediately, I guess because she couldn't sleep. Tara will usually be taking her in the morning and ... read more

Uncles' obituaries

  I have lost a couple of uncles this year.Below are their obituaries: Uncle Ernie... read more

Snake!

Almost stepped on a as Elizabeth and I came out of the creek. Yes, we were in the creek. Anyway, I yelled, "Aaaa" when he slithered past me toward Elizabeth and into the water. Elizabeth wanted to get a better look at him as he lay there half in th... read more

An entire week with Elizabeth

You will not believe what I've been through! :) Okay, maybe it's not been that bad. You single parents out there are laughing at me, I'm sure. But I went an entire week taking care of Elizabeth, our 4 year old, while Tara not only had to work all... read more

Happy Halloween

  Or, as they piously call it around here, Fall Festival, because Halloween is "the work of Satan," you know. :)We just returned from trick-or-treating, which Elizabeth absolutely loved. She kept saying, "Halloween is so much fun!" And now we're all re... read more

An entire day with Elizabeth

I can't believe I made it. Of course, it's not over yet. It's only dinner time. It's been a LONG day. I'm at McDonald's as I write this. I tried to get online with their free wi-fi, but you have to have an account already before you can use it. Now I... read more

Down by the creek

Elizabeth and I went down to the creek this cold fall morning. With all the recent rain, Indian and Mill Creeks both had a lot of rushing water. We walked along the edge of Mill Creek. Usually, we stick to the closer Indian Creek. Elizabeth went as f... read more

Elizabeth cut off all her hair

In the twenty minutes that Tara and I left Elizabeth alone, she found some (child-safe) scissors and cut off all her hair. At first I thought it was just wet. Then I realized she'd cut it all off. I laughed and said I was just glad she hadn't hurt he... read more

One hour with Elizabeth

We had a list of stops to make. First came Ace Hardware for a clothes line and a no-pest-strip. Elizabeth had rediscovered her Barbie electric guitar earlier that day and brought it with her on this trip. She wanted to bring it into the store, she sa... read more

Elizabeth's house

  The other day at the house, we had this conversation. Elizabeth: This is my house. Bill: Your house? I thought it was my and mom's house. Elizabeth: No. It's mine. I'm sharing it with you. Tara and I cracked up.... read more

Elizabeth's birthday

It's this Sunday! Just FYI if you want to send an email or call or whatever.We should have pictures up here from tomorrow's party at Chuck E. Cheese's.... read more

Had a scare

We had a scare a couple of Wednesdays back with Elizabeth. She was at pre-schooldaycare and had tripped and fallen head-first on the pavement outside as everyone was told to get in line to go back inside. We figure, being so competitive, she was rac... read more

More pictures of Elizabeth in California

Bill on Rosie, while Jeannie, Tara, even Shayden, fall for Elizabeth's attention-getting antics.... read more

Sleep-over at Ronica's

  I delegated the responsibility of reading Elizabeth her bedtime story :) By the way, she slept great! I put her to bed at 8:15 and she was asleep by 8:30. We woke up at 8:00 this morning. — Ronica... read more

My niece Kristen's graduation

Yeah, Kristen graduated tonight from Christian Brothers High. The ceremony was at Memorial Auditorium. Attached is a picture of her, Dad, and me. — Steve ... read more

A very artsy picture of Elizabeth

Just because I liked it, I'm posting it here! :) ... read more

Birthday party

Well, Elizabeth's birthday party is this Saturday. She'll be 3, and it'll be her first "real" party. It'll be outside at a covered table next to a playground in a nearby park. I can't tell you here on the Internet exactly where this park is because y... read more

Daycare

Elizabeth spent her first official full day at yesterday. The teacher went on and on about how wonderful and good and helpful she was. I say "first official" day because Tara took her to a free trial day last week. Daycare is probably a lot like the... read more

Recent photos

Around the house |  | ... read more

Baby shower

Tara's female family and friends threw Elizabeth a baby shower last weekend. I was the only man there. The only reason I went was so that any other men showing up wouldn't be the only man. Oh well. I was able to get a lot on video, and Tara took pict... read more

Luncheon

I can't believe how nice my coworkers at Franklin are. On Friday, they had a at work for Elizabeth and Tara. They invited me, too. :) Great food, several gifts, and the biggest surprise: a money tree. Tara and I were speechless at that. It's not l... read more

Settling in

I just thought I'd mention that Elizabeth is settling into her new life pretty well. Tara is her full-time parent, I just appear after work and on weekends. :) Even then, it's Tara who does most of the work. Elizabeth's biggest hurdle so far has bee... read more

Doug

  Jana & Doug's baby girl, Natália Irén On the beach An entire page devoted to Milanko!... read more

Eleanor and Lionel

Lionel's sister, Dolores In 1936 after being crowned Queen. Eleanor's back surgery a success! "Everyone warned me against back surgery," she says. "But, I'd be in a wheelchair now if I hadn't had surgery!" ... read more

Regenerated Jan 23 2019
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