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Latest deep thought


One way or another in our own inimitable way, we all do to others what was done to us. -- William Arthur Holmes Wow, that was deep -- William's internal critic... read more

USMNT fan-preferred roster


Who do you want playing right now for the US Men's national soccer team (assuming everyone's available) for a hypothetical must-win game? VOTE HERE... read more

Most popular site on the Internet


This is the 12,157,539th most popular website in the world, according to silktide! Wow! We have hit the big time. ... read more

How to support this website


...should you be so inclined: Buy one of my books at Amazon or S... read more

Joke images


All joke images on this site... read more

My writer's platform


WilliamArthurHolmes is my "writer's platform," with a page showing where you can buy, preview and/or review all of my ... read more

Get into farming


Some bad language, but funny. Get Into Farming... read more

Another day in paradise, day 2751


Sitting here looking at James (not his real name) to my right. My workday would be sooooo much better if I could ignore him, but, being in the cubicle across the aisle, I can't. For those new to this space, James is an idiot. Liter... read more

All of my books


All of my books... read more

Memes about memes

Our thoughts


All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make our world. -- Buddha... read more

Another Way: Beyond the Status Quo


On Smashwords (which distributes to iBooks, Barnes and Noble, Kobo, etc.) and ... read more

British problems


Stumbled upon this and thought I'd share. Here's a sample... Look, buddy, I get it . You ... read more

Rumi quote


Anything you lose comes round in another form -- Rumi... read more

Knots by Anna Nalick


Wow, great vocals. My ... read more

Derby this Saturday


Here are my picks for Saturday's Kentucky Derby: WIN - Cutting Humor (because I have that); PLACE - Country House (because I want that); and SHOW - War of Will (because I'm ... read more

Restroom difficulty


Don't you hate it when you're at work? The end. Wait, that's not the end. You're at work — on the bottom floor, because that's where the snack machine is — and you decide to use the restroom. The cleaning lady is... read more

Mongolian throat singing


This (Wolf Totem by Th... read more

More miscellaneous jokes


Screw in a light bulb Q: How many "Star Trek" crew members does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Six. Scotty to get on the intercom when the light goes out and say, "I canna do it, Cap'n! I'm not a miracle worker... read more

Leaving Zazzle


Here's my goodbye letter to Zazzle. Yes, it's awfully bitter and "conspiracy theory"-ish, but I was upset. :) Your new policy sucks, big time. And when I tried to create something new before the deadline [after which... read more

Good album


Dido's latest (here... read more

DIY arts and crafts


If you've ever felt the need to do it yourself when it came to one of your crafty/artsy ideas, you might try CafePress and make something exactly as you want ... read more

The rainbow ends in Sacramento


The rainbow really does end in Sacramento! My nephew Milan has captured proof. :) This was taken at their minor league team, ... read more

Lottery President


New book out!... read more

Last Train Out


New book out!... read more

Temporary Insanity


New book out!Long before winning the lottery and running for president, Benny was living in L.A. working as a temporary word processor (glorified typ... read more

Operation Detour


New book out!... read more

Dance


Artwork | Crafts | Fashion | Jokes/... read more

Quotes


Artwork | Crafts | Dance | Fashion | Jokes/... read more

Crafts


Artwork | Dance | Fashion | Jokes/... read more

Movies-TV


Artwork | Crafts | Dance | Fashion | ... read more

Writing


Artwork | Crafts | Dance | Fashion | ... read more

Recently-discovered book repository

Hathi Trust Digital Library: hathitrust... read more

Couple of good ones


OK, three good ones. and and, this just in, something to settle the argument... ... read more

Bumper stickers again


Just thought I'd mention my bumper stickers again. Might be good stocking stuffers! :) ... read more

How to move a book store


New book out!Cool! ... read more

Taking the Stairs


Don't you hate it when you're taking the stairs, looking down because it's a struggle, you think you've reached your floor only to look up and see you've got two more to go? Working on the third floor is rough!... read more

Worrying works!


Worrying must work, because everything I worry about ends up not happening!... read more

Novels/novellas


Books/publications by me and other family members New book Another Way: Beyond the Status Quo now available! ... read more

USB turntable


I'm buying one of these: ... read more

Good quasi-clay-mation video


Great first video from several years ago by my niece here: Y19zSl2q5iQ. Her current YouTube channel is here: ... read more

Quote on tolerance


"Total tolerance is not a virtue, it is a total lack of principles." — Plainsman 2016... read more

Too funny


This is too funny not to share. See German man's car found 20 years after he lost it in parking ga... read more

Trail of blood

Walking in from the parking lot into work this morning, on the sidewalk I saw what looked like a trail of blood. There was a big spot of it at the top of the sidewalk, and it dwindled as it continued toward the front door. What the...... read more

Culture


we have none. we can't even capitalize the first letter in a sentence. But seriously, here are some things to do in various cities (a work in progress): T... read more

Ordering a sandwich


Man behind the counter: What kind of meat? Me: Tuna. Man: Ham? Me: If by "ham" you mean "tuna," then yes.... read more

Yet another grammar rant


In addition to "honoring our veteran's," how about if we honor our teachers who taught us punctuation, spelling, and the difference between possessive and plural? :)... read more

Cats Disrespecting Pugs


So, I'm lying on the bed with the pug Joey between my legs. No, that's not a figure of speech. I'm referring to an actual dog. Anyway, the cat comes up, thinks about jumping across my legs to the other side, then decides to just step ... read more

Lesson on taxes


"The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream." — Bill Murray... read more

Natalia Holmes photography and videos


Natalia Holmes travel photography and videography on YouTube, InstaGram and ... read more

Diary, 2017/07/29


I just went down the road to the quickie-mart and got coffee. It's something I do most every weekend morning since throwing away my home coffee maker to keep me from drinking too much of it. On the way there, I saw what I thought was ... read more

Free novella and novels


New book out!Free novella Temporary Insanity... read more

Please patronize me


Check out my Patreon page. Patrons get free stuff! Well, not technically free since you do have to pay at least $1 to get anything. Still ... ... read more

Indian flick with subtitles


So, I'm selecting a movie to watch on Netflix. I see "Holiday A Soldier Is Never Off Duty". It's Indian, with subtitles, but it's in the category of Action/Adventure. The blurb says "Capt. Bakshi sets out to stop a net... read more

Got yelled at today


Got yelled at today ... by a quail. I was crossing an empty lot toward the soccer field when I heard squawking. I looked down, and there it was.... read more

Folding clothes

I thought I'd watch some sports while folding clothes (making up for my complete lack of doing chores yesterday). My choices were NBA basketball (where travelling is only called after 6 or 7 steps), bull riding (where I just feel sorr... read more

Airlines misbehaving


United Airlines says "Thank you, American Airlines, now everyone finally knows we're not the ONLY a*holes!" Yes, the woman was ... read more

Being Human


Makes me laugh when Facebook asks why I think something is funny or amazing. I'm thinking "Bite me. I don't have the time or inclination to teach your artificial 'intelligence' algorithms what it means to be human." Not that... read more

Wife's Jetta


Driving wife's Jetta while my car gets serviced. I called it a piece of $h!+ just before getting out. Its door then hit me in the forehead while I tried to climb out. So, I guess we're even.... read more

If a man speaks in the forest...


Joke we heard Lee Child telling (though we're fairly sure he's not the author)... "If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear it, is he still wrong?"... read more

Putting Words in Mark Twain's Mouth


Nice list: Putting Words in Mark Twain's Mouth I wonder if any of these are on that li... read more

One of the all-time great rock-era lyricists


Listening to Don Henley this morning. He is one of the all-time great lyricists/poets. Just thought I'd say so. Then Don McLean came on, so ... ?? Of course, they can both be among the greatest, but Henley is probably THE greatest.... read more

Tornadoes


Had to park under an overpass this morning to avoid tornadoes. No problems for me but one did touch down right near work. Someone said it hit Macy's (just across the Interstate).... read more

Action films on Netflix


Almost half of all action films on Netflix have a variation of this description: "He thought he was retired, but has to do one last job!... read more

Cash back


Don't you hate it when you tell the self-checkout register that you want cash back. Then by the time you're finished, because the $!?&@ machine has screwed up so many times, you've become distracted and forgotten all about the cash? Y... read more

Dumbing yourself down

Be careful when dumbing yourself down. Before you know it, you will "succeed." #dumbingusdown... read more

My English Premier League team


Trying to decide which English Premier League team I should consider "my team." Very important. Leaning toward either Liverpool FC (becau... read more

Adjusted to winter


You know you've adjusted to winter when you walk outside to 45F degrees and think "It's not bad out here!... read more

Writers Need Followers?


Publishers and writing "gurus" preach that writers need followers. The problem is that emotionally-stable people don't want followers, they want friends, compatriots, people who listen, not followers. Especially ... read more

Out of toothpaste


Me (joking, the other day): I'm out of toothpaste! Whaddaya gonna do about it? Wife (without missing a beat): Find a husband with toothpaste, I guess. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I married her. :) And that's why... read more

You know you're lazy when...


You know you're lazy when you check weather instead of getting up and going outside to see what the weather is doing! I (eventually) went outside.... read more

Fence guy


So, the wife texts me saying, "Fence guy quoted $35500 to do the fence. He's coming out Wednesday." This is a fence repair for a small backyard, not a new thousand acre fence. Me: "How much?!" ... read more

Decent series available online


Is there a single, decent series available online that isn't depraved; you know, doesn't involve zombies or some sort of depressing, apocalyptic, loser view of the world? Just wondering. Thanks.... read more

Christmas music


With wife playing Christmas music this morning (as soon as is socially acceptable), it put me in the mood for this: Christia... read more

Awkward


So, I'm walking back from feeding the neighbor's dog while they're on vacation. I see my wife and daughter in the car up ahead, just about to turn onto our street. I'm looking at them. They're looking at me (or at least it feels like ... read more

Last Train Out


New book out!Last Train Out, eBook (... read more

Dare to be nice


Dare to be nice (or friendly, even) once in a while instead of "cool." As my brother-in-law says, "Jus' sayin'."... read more

No more penalty shootouts!


I'm a huge soccer fan, but absolutely hate penalty shootouts. That is no way to decide a game. The winning team needs to be determined by playing the game, not through penalty kicks. That's like deciding an American foot... read more

Cereal


"I think I'm addicted to cereal," I said. "Addicted?" she asked. "Yeah, I'm gonna hit the street looking for my latest fix." "And by 'street,' you mean Aisle 3 at Kroger, rig... read more

American Pharoah vs. Secretariat, who would win?


Interesting! The 2015 Triple Crown winner American Pharoah ran the sixth-fastest Belmont Stakes ever, but if he was racing against Secretariat's record time in 1973, he would have been a distant second. Watch the two races side-by... read more

All-time favorite songs


Or, what I'd want on my MP3 player if stuck on a deserted island (with rechargeable batteries and a ... read more

The road to the Kentucky Derby (2015)


The 20 three-year-olds to make the starting gate in the Kentucky Derby are determined by the Road to the Kentucky Derby... read more

My novels


New book out!While working on my latest novel (an extre... read more

You saying I'm ugly?


I was explaining to my 9 year old daughter what "networking" is, and that I'm not very good at it. She said, "That's because a lot of people judge you by your looks. And you're not ..." "You trying to say I'm ugly?" "I don't t... read more

Cigar, American racehorse, dies at age of 24


Sad news. He was one of the greats. We saw him in retirement at Kentucky Horse Park several years ago. via Cigar, American racehorse, dies at... read more

One too many cats


I was up a little earlier than usual this morning, which apparently surprised one of the cats in our house. The thing is, we only have one cat. Any more than that is too many. This one — either a stray or just one of the neighbo... read more

Forrest Gump quote


Just because it made me laugh out loud ... Jenny: Do you ever dream, Forrest, about who you're gonna be? Forrest: Who I'm gonna be? Jenny: Yeah. Forrest:... read more

Photography


Artwork | Crafts | Dance | Fashion | ... read more

Parents code of ethics


Signing my daughter up for softball, I just had to laugh at this (stripped down) Parents Code of Ethics: I will encourage good sportsmanship I will place the emotional and physical well-being of my child ahead of my pe... read more

World Cup 2014


I love World Cup soccer ("football/futbol" to most of the world), so life is good now with all the games on. I'm ticked at ABC/ESPN for limiting all USA games to ESPN, which I can't see... read more

Catfish


[from 1994, © 1994] by Eric McGovern It was a warm, humid night, as are most nights of August in Bay St. Louis, Mississippi. It was ten p.m. and, as I loaded my fishing gear into my truck and looked up at the full ... read more

Devastating Earthquake Rocks Southland

[from 1993] A powerful earthquake measuring 8.3 on the Richter Scale brought Southern California to its knees just before dawn yesterday. Hundreds of buildings in the greater Los Angeles area were completely destroyed, dozens ... read more

Aliens Spoke to Me

[from 1993] I just started driving. I don't know why. Boredom, I guess. I left my house around noon. I'd had enough of watching football on t.v. and just felt like getting out. When I hopped into my truck I had no ide... read more

Kangaroos Attacked Me


[from 1993] by Greg* — [* not really] There I was in Long Beach, California, having lunch down along the docks like I always do. It was a cool Autumn day, early November. I was watching the ships roll in ... ... read more

Remmy Gets Gas


[from July 1990] by Bill Remmy pulled into the gas station and jumped out of his pickup. He went to the rear of the truck, checked his reflection in the camper shell window, smiled at himself, and slid the gas nozzle in... read more

So Much for Sacrificial Rites

[from February 1990] by Bill Holmes The High Priest announced, "We must sacrifice a human life tonight." The crowd of Mibuku natives milling around the fire immediately tensed... read more

Baub

by William Arthur "Bill" Holmes. © Copyright 1990-2010 [From September 5, 1989] In the vast expanse of Llycete Spaceport's docking yard on this below-freezing winter morning, the Mraclys, a small ship badly in nee... read more

Requiem for a pigeon


Requiem For A Pigeon by Bill We witnessed a pigeon's demise Right here on the dock o' the Bay There was nothing we could do Nothing we could say It just wasn't the pigeon's day ... read more

California Chrome a horse of a uniting color


They have a 77-year-old trainer who thought his big-time days were over, and a jockey who grew up afraid of horses.They pulled California Chrome's name out of Coburn's cowboy hat. If not for the luck of the draw the horse could hav... read more

Best thrillers of all time


New book out!... read more

Advice for writing


A writer's narrative perspective (their "voice," or, how they come across to their reader) must be: This is me talking to you.That's it. Nothing more, nothing less.It's not: This is me 100 years ago speaking in a "cl... read more

Hollywood Park, what a run it had!


Today (December 22, 2013) is the last day of racing at Hollywood Park before it's torn down. It's sad, but that part of town has been "the 'hood" for several decades now, so it's no surprise no one wanted to go there.I worked there... read more

My twitter feed


Tweets by @TheBillHolmes And if the net... read more

Tweets


My Twitter feed: by @TheBillHolmes Some of my better ones, according to me ... Never... read more

Cold day in November


It was cold today in Nashville! The high for the day was only about 45. I guess that'll feel warm if we get that in January, but still.... It's supposed to get down to the mid-20s tonight. I know, I know. You all in ... read more

Mucho Macho Man grooves to his song


Breeder's Cup Classic winner Mucho Macho Man grooves to his song... read more

This is deep


I just had to share this comment someone left here on FriendsNews. Read it, absorb it, digest it, lather, rinse and repeat it. Then let me know what the %$^# it means! Here it is: "I comprehend that is g... read more

Good start


The NFL got off to a good start today, the first real games of the season.Both of my teams, the Tennessee Titans and San Francisco 49ers, won!The Titans were a surprise over the Steelers.The Niners won "as expected" even thou... read more

Movie night


My wife and I have been celebrating our twelfth wedding anniversary this weekend. The actual day was the 22nd (so mark your calendars for next year's gifts). :) With our daughter on a sleepover at a friend's house last night, Tara and... read more

Travers Stakes (2013)


Several big name horses in it this year: Verrazano, Haskell winner Palace Malice, Belmont and Jim Dandy winner Orb, ... read more

How does writing affect your brain?


How Does Writing Affect Your Brain? [infographic].Interesting ... to me, anyway. "Most of us write a little so... read more

Recent tweets


I remember when I didn't know what a "tweet" was, other than the sound a bird makes. It wasn't so long ago, either. Below is just a random list of tweets. Pathetic, I know, but I felt the need to put something new on the site. Anyway.... read more

Lost a friend


No, not that kind of "lost" (knock on wood). So get that lump out of your throat. No, I just noticed I've lost a friend.Don't you hate it when you're walking along talking to someone, it's crowded, you hear a muffled screa... read more

Dinner and a show


After stopping at Tara's sister Stephanie's house in Smyrna to pick up a newly-refurbished ... read more

Alan shore's stick it! speech


Alan Shore's closing argument Alan Shore "When the weapons of mass destruction thing turned out to be not true, I expected the American people to rise up. Ha! They didn't. Then, wh... read more

Just another Sunday


Wife and kid are off at this thing called "church." Maybe you've heard of it. I'm not familiar. Not sure what to make of it. :)I'm basically just hanging out waiting for the new mattress to be delivered. We told the delivery guy, "... read more

Started a new story today


New book out!I started writing a new story today. Can't say much about it except that it's pretty much sci-fi, though it might wander into religion a... read more

About my books


About my books... read more

Cracking up over Lottery President


New book out!Here's my Amazon Author's Page... read more

Father's Day


I'm just writing this post to get something new on the blog other than that free ad for Windows 7. :) We drove up to be with my wife's side of the family today for Father's Day. An "extra special treat" upon returning home was... read more

Guest posting


I've been following and listening to Jeff Goins's TribeWriters program, and he says an important aspect to successful blogging (at least as far as getting noticed) is to "guest pos... read more

Getting used to having no TV


I'm slowly but surely getting used to having no TV in the house. It's been about a week now. I still get all the local news headlines by following those channels through Facebook. And the only thing I ever watched on ... read more

House cleaning


Doling out who would be doing what for today's house cleaning project, my wife Tara assigned the following to me: Strip and make the bed. Knowing me, she then felt the need to clarify this. "That means strip the bed." I&... read more

No more TV


We've turned off, unplugged and hidden the TVs from ourselves! The plan is to keep it that way throughout the summer. We'll see how long it lasts. :) Something tells me we'll be "cheating" by watching more stuff on our com... read more

Food Matters film


Finally watched this "Food Matters" movie last night. It was great. MD's and pharmaceutical execs will hate it, of course. Anyway, I highly recommend it. ... read more

Holiday World


I rode a rollercoaster for the first time in I don't know how long. It was a blast! The Raven has been voted "most awesome [or whatever] wooden coaster" several times i... read more

Not pulled over


Had a very brief, mundane, realistic dream the night before last in which I was pulled over by a traffic cop. I didn't think much about it until the next morning when I was going down Antioch Pike to a client's office. That particular... read more

I am now a published author


New book out!OK, so it's SELF-published, but still ... :) It's called "... read more

Cinco de Mayo


It was Cinco de Mayo, so we tried Moe's Southwest Grill. After ten minutes with very little movement... read more

Derby results (2013)


Florida Derby winner Orb won today's Kentucky Derby in "the slop." But you've probably already heard/read about it. My pick, ... read more

Saved a life today


Probably. You never know about these things. Anyway, I had forgotten to buy cat food and that is what allowed me to be there in time to save a life. Taking my daughter to school this morning, I had to turn south on Nolensville Rd beca... read more

Kentucky Derby-related pages (2013)


Where to keep up or catch up on the upcoming Derby: espn.go/horse-racing/triplecrown2013/ ... read more

Great suction!


In preparation for the much-anticipated Comcast installation (Internet, not TV), I do as they suggest and clear out a space where I want them to put the cable wall jack. Once I ha... read more

Doing the dishes


So, my wife tells me most people do the dishes every day. I don't believe her. "Every day?" I ask."Yes, every day," she says."Every single day?" I persist. She nods. "You don't mean," I search for clarification, "it's s... read more

Shaking while braking


Three and a half hours in the Pep Boys waiting room is always time well-spent, wouldn't you agree? :) I'm home now, appreciating the comfort of my office chair, but Pep... read more

Denied again


This is the second "denial" in as many days. Yesterday it was the life insurance company. Today, I got one of those job application denial emails: Thank you for your interest in our [recent] opening. We have had a chance to revi... read more

Insurance companies


Good news: SunLife Financial sent me a refund check! Bad news: It was because they denied my policy for, according to them, failing to send all of my paperwork in on time. Um, I th... read more

Tried to mow the lawn


Well, I tried to mow the lawn, but the lawnmower wouldn't start. I swear. :) It's probably all clogged up from sitting there unused all winter. It was a hand-me-down mower, anyway, probably in need of replacing, but that's j... read more

Road to the Triple Crown (2013)


The Triple Crown 2013 - ESPN.I always try and follow these preludes to the Kentucky Derby so ... read more

Kentucky Oaks & Derby (2013)

2013 Kentucky Oaks & Derby | May 3 and 4, 2013 | Tickets, Events, News.Time to start watching the Derby "pr... read more

So God made a dog


I love this. via So God made a dog "And on the 9th day God looked down on his children and said the... read more

Chris Hedges quote


"We now live in a nation where doctors destroy health, lawyers destroy justice, universities destroy knowledge, governments destroy freedom, the press destroys information, religion destroys morals, and our banks dest... read more

Your novel blueprint


Good article for writers. via Your Novel Blueprint | WritersDigest "Writing a novel and building a house are ... read more

Contentment


Contentment is lying in bed, social networking on my laptop, listening to my wife and daughter "fight"/tease each other in the other room, while I've got the cat cuddled up on my left and two out of three pugs cuddled up on my right.... read more

Serialized version of Operation Detour


New book out!I have serialized my novel, "Operation Detour," ... read more

A couple of books/novellas on Kindle


New book out!I've published a couple of books/novellas on Kindle recently: ... read more

How Hubbard and Rand got their ideas


According to this video, this must be how it happened. ... read more

Quote of the day 2012/07/14


"The War on Terror(TM) is a product. It doesn't exist 'to keep us safe'; on the contrary, it exists to keep us in a state of fear." — Libe... read more

Diary, 2012/07/02


It almost rained today. I know, exciting. Apparently, it did rain pretty hard in some places, but not here on "the south side." Hopefully, by this time next week it will have rained several times. The possibility is in the forecast, ... read more

Diary, 2012/06/30

It's supposed to be record heat again today. Yesterday was 109F degrees, which is unheard of in Nashville. Today is supposed to be 107F. I've already watered my fruit trees and vegetable garden in the backyard this morning. Yesterday ... read more

Quote of the day 2012/06/25


"To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize." — Voltaire" Good quote, but apparently not spoken by Voltaire.See ... read more

Artwork


Artwork | Crafts | Dance | Jokes/Images | ... read more

Surfer catches 'biggest wave ever' off Portugal


Surfer catches 'biggest wave ever' off Portugal (+video) "The Guinness World Rec... read more

Puttin' on the Ritz in Moscow


via Puttin' on the Ritz in Moscow "Hundreds of dancers joined together in Moscow on 26.02.2012 to perform together ... read more

Bureaucracy at its worst, legal argument at its best


Part of rebuilding New Orleans caused residents often to be challenged with the task of tracing home titles back potentially hundreds of years.. With a community rich with history stretching back over two centuries, houses have been p... read more

Lottery President ebook now available on Kindle


New book out!Click here for your ... read more

Brisnet top 10 Kentucky Derby contenders (2011)


Brisnet Top 10 Kentucky Derby Contenders Here's the current yea... read more

Great commercial


Commercial from Taiwan, for all you bikers out there, young and old:Dream Rangers ... read more

Aileen Holmes showcases her work


She's my niece.via Fashion and Art collide at The Promenade Gallery | Daily Titan.... read more

Kentucky Oaks & Derby (2011)


Time to start watching the races leading up to the Kentucky Derby so I have a clue who to bet on on Derby Day, May 7th.... read more

Events at Mpact Sports


For those in middle Tennessee: Events at Mpact. Elizabeth used to go here for gymnastics. They are a great bunch of people.... read more

Free Monty Python videos on YouTube lead to 23,000% DVD sale increase


Free Monty Python Videos on Youtube Lead to 23,000% DVD Sale Increase "We're letting you see... read more

Monkey Joe's again


This could get expensive coming here on a regular basis at $9-$10 every time, but Tara had a coupon that made it half price. We're at the new one in Brentwood/Cool Springs. ... read more

New rules for writers


Anis Shivani: New Rules For Writers: Ignore Publicity, Shun Crowds, Refuse Recognition And More.... read more

Fox 'shoots' hunter in Belarus


Hooray for the fox! via Fox "shoots hunter" in Belarus "A wounded fox shot its would... read more

Couch potato


I've been a couch potato all day. Well, most of the day. I did finally pull up the dead "crops" in the vegetable garden at one point. And I did do some recycling, taking the paper, bottles, cans and plastic bags out of the trash c... read more

Sold another bumper sticker!


Man, that's three this year. At a dollar apiece, I'm gonna be rich! :) ... read more

Winter has arrived


It's been snowing all day, at least an inch and a half accumulation. Earlier, I put some de-icer on the driveway in preparation for tomorrow morning. Before that, I had to walk the dogs in the snow. You know, pugs don't like s... read more

Fastest trooper


Montana State Trooper In most of the United States there is a policy of checking on any stalled vehicle on the highway when temperatures drip to single digits or below. About 3 a.m. one very cold morning, Montana State Troop... read more

Greeting cards by Natalia Holmes


Greeting Cards by Natalia Holmes, my niece. [NOTE: She no longer does this.] ... read more

Television


When I wasn't working on computers this weekend, I was trying to get the ... read more

New washer


The new washer was delivered today. I let them take the old one away even though we'd just bought it (used) a week ago. That's right, it lasted just one week. Oh well, we didn't really need that $200 (after tax and delivery), anyway. ... read more

Doormats with a difference


... read more

Yesterday


Tara had a busy "day off." Her basic schedule consisted of: 1) taking our pug Chandler back to the vet (for the fifth or sixth time the past month) to check on his ... read more

Zenyatta lost


by half a head!This is the Breeder's Cup Classic I'm talking about... read more

Giants win!


For the first time in my lifetime, the S.F. Giants have won the World Series!And they did on my birthday!Adding to my joy was seeing George W. Bush in the background, clearly unhappy.... read more

All time best movie lines


I thought it'd be fun to come up with a list of the all-time best movie lines. Use the comments section below [comments closed] for your suggestions. Try and do it from memory. Don't worry about getting it exactly right. Here's w... read more

New antenna


Got the new tv antenna... read more

Lucy's birthday


Today's my sister Lucy's birthday. She must be having a good one, because she has not replied to anyone's email birthday greeting. The previous weekend was our nephew Daniel's 2nd birthday party in Smyrna. That kid partied... read more

Diary, 2010/07/25


Just got back from an all day shopping excursion. I don't know how Tara does it every week. I told her that was harder work than going to the office all day. She said, "So, you appreciate me more now?" Of course, I said yes. F... read more

Diary, 2010/07/24

We all went to the Nashville Zoo today. My God it was hot ... and sticky. Luckily, Blue Bell Ice Cream was handing out ... read more

Diary, 2010/07/23

I'm lying here on the couch — with the pugs asleep next to me — getting my "new" laptop just the way I like it. A customer was supposed to show up and drop off their laptop today at 3, but that never happened. Shoulda ... read more

Bumper stickers


Make custom gifts at Zazzle ... read more

My first bumper sticker sale!

I just got an email saying I've made my first bumper sticker sale! They bought three, actually. At 33 cents commission per item, at this rate, one sale per year, I'll be rich in no time! UPDATE: That was at Zazzle, but now ... read more

Quote of the Day 2010/06/21


"Watching Titanic [the part where the ship is sinking] is like watching the U.S. economy, where the rich conspire to sink as many of the poor as they possibly can." — Bill Holmes (yes, I thought... read more

Aetna reverses its decision


My insurance company, Aetna, which denied a $10,000 medical claim last year, has finally reversed its decision (after my second appeal) and decided to "process the claim" again.W... read more

Bird in the house


Woke up this morning to a bird in the kitchen. I had a hunch the cat Sunny had brought something inside because, while still half asleep, I heard her banging around outside of the bedroom somewhere.Anyway, I walked int... read more

Installed the new dishwasher


I finally got around to installing the new dishwasher that Tara's sister Stephanie mysteriously bought for us. Not sure why, but I never look a gift horse in the mouth. Seriously, if anyone ever feels like giving me something, feel fr... read more

Quote of the Day 2010/04/06


For life to work well for most people today, the universe has chosen an unlucky few for whom nothing works at all. :) Keep that in mind as you go through your day. — Bill Holmes... read more

McDonalds wi-fi


In Nashville, anyway, it seems you can get around their proxy system (those outlets that use it), simply by using Google Chrome and maybe Firefox. It might be as simple as using any browser other than Internet Explorer. ... read more

Happy spring!


I am sooooo glad winter is over ... here in Nashville, anyway. I'm also glad we're not getting any flooding like North Dakota. Now, I need to make up for last year in my ve... read more

Screenplay submitted


I submitted a screenplay to Scriptapalooza today. See scriptapalooza. The first deadline is Friday the 5th. The real deadline is April 15. I think first prize is $10,000, but... read more

My Cousin Kenny's book


New book out!... read more

Some of my favorite Twain quotes


"It's easier to fool people than to convince them they have been fooled!" -- Mark Twain "If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed." -- Mark Twain "A classic is a ... read more

Thawing out


Hopefully. It snowed a good 5-6 inches Friday in and around Nashville. It wasn't good snowman/snowball snow, though. Not in our neighborhood, anyway. It was too crusty because of the freezing rain that came after the snow. It made... read more

Stories to download


New book out!Get your "eBooks" here!Links to my Amazon book page. ... read more

Newly discovered radio station


I just got my car back from the shop. $1500. Ouch! On the way home, though, I turned on the radio. All my preset stations were gone. Right. Whenever they reset the onboard computer, it resets my radio station presets. Kinda weird t... read more

A day without my car


I'm just testing this Windows Live Writer software. UPDATE: There's now a newer, "open-source" version here. ... read more

Mr. Happy's 18th annual unusual Christmas music podcast


Seasons Greetings, You can "tune in"* via your favorite mp3 player to the show: radio showWhat can you expect to hear? About 500 songs (over 24 hours of non-repe... read more

A few bumper stickers!


And one t-shirt, too. That's not me in the picture. :) Here's my "store": zazzle/holmes3804* ... read more

Diary, 2009/10/28


We had a "Fall Festival" party at Elizabeth's daycare/preschool tonight (called that because some parents don't like Halloween). Elizabeth went dressed up in her Minnie Mouse costume. She was very cute. But then, she's cute no matter ... read more

Diary, 2009/10/17

Been trying to learn Cisco (network routing equipment) online through skillsoft, which I was given access to in my severance package. Maybe I need to just move out in order to get... read more

Diary, 2009/10/15

Two weeks shy of my birthday and I'm still looking for a job. I don't know why. I never really fit in at these corporate soul-sucking places. Oh that's right, I need to pay the mortgage, daycare, grocery bill, utilities, car payment a... read more

Too many doctors lately


I had knee surgery the other day. They removed my bursa sac that kept filling up with fluid due to an injury. The only thing I can figure is that it happened when I helped this neighbor kid stop his bike as he was coming down the hill... read more

Haircut


Got a haircut today. Finally! What little I have left — after all the stress at work and the stress of the recent back pain — was getting pretty long and goofy-looking unless it was wet and slicked back. Anyway, I was sitt... read more

Christmas 2008


It took five months, but here it is: Christmas 2008... read more

New fence


I forgot to mention that I built a fence last weekend. It only spans about 12 feet from the side of the house to the retaining wall dividing us from our slightly-uphill neighbor. I've still got to cut a gate into it. Hopefully, I can ... read more

Thought for the day


I was noticing how I'm not as good of a speller as I used be, or at least not as quick. Old age, I figured. Brain deteriorating. Oh well. Then I decided it's not necessarily that big a deal when certain brain synapses or pathways/... read more

Diary, 2009/04/02


Today is Dad's birthday. 90 years old! Amazing. I'm 48, in case you're wondering. Amazing ... ly disgusting! Oh well. Anyway, back to Dad. Longevity runs in his side of the family. His mother lived to be 101. His father made... read more

Detroit bank robbery


Detroit PD should be ashamed! :) See Detroit bank robbery ... read more

Our first outside Christmas lights, ever!


That's it. No story. Here's the link: Our first outside Christmas lights... read more

Diary, 2008/11/10


Parents all worry about how well they're raising their kids; how they will behave; what kind of people they will grow up to be. Well, tonight I discovered a sad truth about our youngest daughter, Sunny. She likes to hang out in gutter... read more

Diary, 2008/11/07

Well, I had a hell of a day. It started off normally enough, though it was raining, which is increasingly rare around here. I dropped Elizabeth off at school on my way to work, and from there my day took a wrong turn. I took side ... read more

Old music, newly uploaded


Here's some piano music I've composed over the years, mostly from the late 80s and early 90s. I rarely play nowadays. None of the compositions (if you can call them that) had names until just now. And none of it is very professionally... read more

Kokopelli stitching


Jana's "Kokopelli" stitching ... read more

Palickovanie

Slovak art by Jana... read more

Kentucky Derby (2008)


Here's a list of possible starters for next week's Kentucky Derby: Derby 2008.The experts are divided between Big Brown, Colonel John and Pyro as their pick... read more

Diary, 2008/04/26


I took Joey to the vet this morning for a routine follow-up. I volunteered because I thought his appointment would conflict with Tara's plans to take Elizabeth to meet up with her Auntie, Tara's sister Sandy, at the Franklin Street Fa... read more

Stage


Artwork | Crafts | Dance | Fashion | ... read more

Radio


Online Radio stations ... read more

Poetry


Artwork | Crafts | Dance | Fashion | Jokes/... read more

People you'll be missing and why

by Jeannie Womack The time has come for you to move on, but I'm sure you'll be missing us while you are gone;... read more

Hats

by Jeannie Womack Joseph wore many hats in his life, the first one was of son, next an officer, a Dutch Ma... read more

A Prince in Disguise

by Jeannie Womack We met on the race track in '72 I couldn't resist his eyes, so blue We soon fell in love... read more

The Run

by Jeannie Womack Running in the rain isn't the pain a non-runner might think it would be I put ... read more

A Saga of Seven

This is a story in the style called rap that'll surely encourage an afternoon nap of a family of seven, their kids and their wives and something regarding their travels and lives. Now first there was Greg, a B... read more

Short Stories


Artwork Jokes |  Music Photography... read more

Music


Artwork | Crafts | Dance | Fashion | ... read more

Movies


Artwork | Crafts | Dance | Jokes/Images | ... read more

Fashion


Artwork | Crafts | Dance | Jokes/... read more

Books


New book out!Artwork | Crafts | Dance |... read more

Dinko Goes Shopping


by William Arthur "Bill" Holmes. © Copyright 1990-2010 There once was a cat named Dinko who loved food more than anything else in the world. Of course, when you're a cat, food is probably the single most important t... read more

Murder, or Just an Honest Mistake?

by William Arthur "Bill" Holmes. © Copyright 1990-2010 [The following story is rated PG. You figure it out.] Madison Ripley Smith was sitting at his desk with his feet propped up when she walked in. Lon... read more

A Day at the Fair

by William Arthur "Bill" Holmes. © Copyright 1990-2010 I pulled into Angel's Camp around noon. I was supposed to be meeting my brother Don and his wife Diane there ... somewhere. We hadn't actually decided on a me... read more

Lunch at Jack-In-The-Box

by William Arthur "Bill" Holmes. © Copyright 1990-2010 Driving around town the other day, I somehow ended up in Hollywood. I don't get to Hollywood much anymore and don't usually find myself missing it. But it was a... read more

The Leaky Weekly

by William Arthur "Bill" Holmes. © Copyright 1990-2010 The Leaky Weekly's motto used to be: "It's Not Just A Newspaper, It's A Piece Of Us." This was quickly perverted by the locals into: "It's not just a newspaper, ... read more

One of Those Nights

by William Arthur "Bill" Holmes. © Copyright 1990-2010 It was late. Claude couldn't sleep. He decided to walk to the corner liquor store for munchies and beer. As he entered the store, he noticed a girl at the ph... read more

Lipstick & WD-40

by William Arthur "Bill" Holmes. © Copyright 1990 Sandi strolled out of the motel room wearing her tight spandex pants, high-heeled shoes and a simple peasant blouse. She had just turned another trick and she wante... read more

Good Friday


It WAS a good Friday. There was nothing religious about it. If you know me at all, that wouldn't surprise you. I was just reading my previous post and wanted to have something more positive this time. We're all still adjusting to ... read more

Sports


Artwork | Crafts | Dance | Fashion | ... read more

April Fool's Day hoaxes


April Fool's Day Hoaxes/Friday Funnies/April Days Top 10 April Fools hoaxes SPAGHETTI HARVEST - Bogus item on 1957 BBC news show Panorama. Viewers seeking advice on growing their own were told to put spaghetti sprig... read more

Airline cabin announcements


All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in flight "safety lecture" and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: 1. On a Southwest flight 245 (SW has ... read more

Bill and Tara's excellent adventure


It started out as an innocent attempt at "dinner and a movie" on a Saturday night. It turned into... Tara's nightmare! Okay, maybe it wasn't quite that bad, but still... We had dinner at ... read more

Stupid sayings


Save the whales. Collect the whole set. A day without sunshine is like, night. On the other hand, you have different fingers. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. 99 percent of politician... read more

Ice fishing


Saturday morning I got up early, put on my long johns, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. There... read more

Lawyer jokes


Courtroom Capers   Mary Louise Gilman, editor of the National Shorthand Reporter, has collected many hilarious courtroom bloopers in two books (Humor in the Court (1977) and More Humor in t... read more

A day at the races


[from 1994] The first Saturday in May. What does this date mean to you? Probably nothing, except that Spring has finally arrived, unless you live in California where it's been Spring already for two months or more — ... read more

A girl named Lucy


[from 1990] This is a story 'bout a girl named Lucy Otherwise known as "The Rappin' Watusi" She lays down a beat that gets your toes tappin' If your toes get tired, let your fingers do the snappin' She says... read more

Barbecue season


After months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking as it's the only type of cooking a real man will do,... read more


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