"If I seem flippant, that's just how I cope. You either laugh or you cry. You apparently start referring to yourself in the second person, too."
"I'm a trusting person. I just took my doctor's word for it."
"I try to be cool. I now know something about being an outsider. Nothing like what s/he must feel, but I can commiserate."
"Do I look like a shoplifter?"
"From now on, call me Alex... no... Axel. Yeah, Axel McLean. I like the sound of that. How about Axel Winchester McLean? Ooh, good one."
"I wave goodbye. He flips me off. I nod and smile. It's good to make friends, meet new people."
"Life! It's a smorgasbord! It's all there for the taking!"
"You look different somehow. New haircut? Gain weight?"
"These guys would crap their pants if they had an actual terrorist to deal with."
"Kuala Lumpur!? Are there a lot of koala bears?"
"So we blow them up? How does that help?"
"What? You don't like umbrella drinks?"
"My girlfriends are always female."
"There are an awful lot of monkeys around here."
"I was fired today. But wait, there's more! Coming home early, I caught my girlfriend and now-former best friend cheating on me... and filming it... in my bed. Turns out, they've been doing this for a while. Yeah."
"I've been told a toilet flushes in the opposite direction in Australia. My life can go down the drain in the opposite direction!"
"So, who are you with? CIA? NSA? IRS? TSA? NBA?"
"Oh-oh here she comes. Watch out boy, she'll blow you up!"