The Daily Gargoyle
Vol. 2, No. 14, November 16, 1990
"Just when you thought it was safe to open the mailbox!"
[Editor's note: For those of you who actually believed, or hoped, that there
And now, the news ...
Bill hits 30!
In an unexpected turn of events, Bill has reached the age of 30.
"I never thought I'd make it," said an astonished Bill. Dad and Eleanor were
nice enough to take him out to dinner. They took him to McDonald's and left him there.
Steve to undergo brain surgery
Well, actually it's dental surgery. But we figured, since they'll be in the general area anyway ... Steve doesn't know when it will happen. But he's really looking forward to it.
Family dog turns to crime
Lucy's dog, Credence, has turned to a life of crime. She's being
trained to sniff out drugs Credence, not Lucy. Lucy already knows how to sniff out
drugs. "Right now we're practicing with marijuana," says Lucy. "Eventually,
we'll work up to cocaine and heroin."
Mike writes column
No, not for this newsletter. He writes a regular music news column for his college newspaper. We read his column. We liked it. We offered him a job. But he declined, citing religious differences. So, we were forced to find some music news ourselves, below:
By the way, where will Christmas be held this year? What's for dinner? And is Bill invited?