And this, people, is why you shouldn't beat your child (any more than you have to) ...
"She [Stalin's mother] once asked her son, 'Joseph, what exactly are you now?'
He replied, 'do you remember the Tsar? Well, I'm like a tsar.'
'You'd have done better to have been a priest,' she said in response.
When he asked her why she had beaten him so much as a child, she shrugged and said, 'It's why you've turned out so well.'"
via Ekaterina Dzhugashvili (Stalin's mother)